benefit fraud

[babyjane67]

My yoinger sis has just been done for this
None of us knew til her&her dp went to court
So hasbeen quite a shock!
My oldest sis is refusing to talk to her as she doesnt wanna say something she might regret
At first apparently she was ok but after a day ir so of it sinking in this is her attitude
Both my brothers&mum are still spking to her&although still tryong to get our heads round it all eould never disown her or not spk to her til we see fit to
I&one of my brothers have really bawled her out&'had a go at her'about it but are trying to move on
Her dps family have been very supportive thougj very shocked sme as us apparently
So my older sis is the only one whos reallyrocked the boat about it
i think its a bit extreme to not talk to yoinge
r sis over it
I mean shes not perfect herself!who is?
I think shes being very jidgemental&not only missimg out on a relatiomship with our sis but also her kids.she has2dds
So aibu or is older sis?

No worries, thanks :)

Stay out of it. You can't do anything to change your older sisters perspective. Just let it play out.

Yea but for how long?
&whats gonna happen when she does decide to talk to her again?
Will she just expect everything to go back to normal or will she want to sit fown&talk about it with het?
Ive askwd her this but says she doesnt know!
Its very awkward for the rest of the family

pandafeet so she didn't steal from anybody? Benefit fraud is ok as you're not really taking from anybody?

She broke the law. Judge her for that. But every tom dick and harry saying "ooh she stole from MEEEE" is just stupid. Yes, she stole. Yes it was wrong. Yes her sister has every right to be angry at her. But it shouldn't be used to fuel the benefit bashing that goes on.

I wouldn't bash anyone in genuine need. Why is it now not ok to be negative about a convicted benefit thief?
It is not a victimless crime.

but she is/was a benefit cheat - however you choose to dress that up or say that because it was paid out by the state system it is a victimless crime. Your older sister has every right to feel however she chooses and is actually avoiding conflict. It is up to her and your younger sister if/when they decide to communicate, however awkward it si for the rest of the family.

Leave your sisters to sort it out for themselves. They're both BU. Stay out of it, nothing good will come of meddling.

Unlike, say, reading your posts before you post them

I wouldn't bash anyone in genuine need. Why is it now not ok to be negative about a convicted benefit thief?
It is not a victimless crime.

Who said it wasn't ok to be negative about a convicted benefit cheat?

So you consider yourself a victim then? God your life must be tiring. Every car theft pushes up your insurance. Are you a victim of all of those too then?

Or is it just a fact of life in the country we live in?

Shouldn't you just move forward now babyjane? OK so your sister did something wrong and the family have been honest about what you all think.

You'd be better off not thinking only about your older sis's opinion - you can't control what she thinks, or how she is with your sis - but you can decide what you want to do.

If you can accept that your sis made a mistake and you don't hold it against her, then that's the best you can do. She probably needs your support - we all make mistakes in life (even when they are bad decisions we choose to make!)

Will she just expect everything to go back to normal or will she want to sit fown&talk about it with het? Ive askwd her this but says she doesnt know!

YABU to expect MNers to predict the future when she doesn't even know!!

Why don't you just get on with your life, difficult though it is not to be involved in your family's activities, you'll just get dragged into stuff that isn't in your control.

Completely pointless!

Well, you can't decide for your older sister. That's her decision. But if it goes on, you should maybe try and persuade her to reconcile with her. Yes, fraud is wrong, but they have been punished, and I'm sure they regret doing it, so unless there are a lot of other issues as well, it shouldn't be a deal breaker. It doesn't mean your sister and her DP are bad people.

"I wouldn't bash anyone in genuine need. Why is it now not ok to be negative about a convicted benefit thief?
It is not a victimless crime."

Because it has now become the norm to place good things and bad things on an equal footing. We treat criminals as if they are victims of an illness, and we treat ill people as if they are criminals. We have some grave problems to be honest.

There are people being virtually tipped out of their wheelchairs into t' mill because the country is skimming along the wavetops of bankruptcy, we have working families living hand to mouth, sinking further into debt, parents going without food to feed their kids while working a job, we have people ending up living in tents in the bloody woods because they can't keep paying their mortgage and fuel costs and so on when the tax on it all is a bigger chunk, we have people having to move away from their communities and families because HB has become so unaffordable and every region in the land is past the point of no return...

...but those backstabbers who are stealing from us all in these hard times, we must be nice about them.

Daisychain01 ive already done that&am not asking mners to predict the future judtputting our/my feelings down about it&what one sis is doing to the other!

Daisychain01 ive already done that&am not asking mners to predict the future judtputting our/my feelings down about it&what one sis is doing to the other!

Sugarmouse1 no other issues going on

YANBU and neither is your older sister.

It's up to each of you how you deal with it, but you can't blame your older sis for having principles and for not wanting to associate with a criminal, even if that criminal is her sister.