To ask what's the etiquette for paying when your dc is invited...

[Lancashiregirl]

on a day out?

Just that really. Do you offer to pay for admission costs, travel, lunch?

Or is it assumed that if they've been invited that the other parents will pay?

Normally I would offer to send some money. Ds was offered to go to macdonalds today with neighbour, normally I would have sent money but it was literally them knocking on the door and asking if ds wanted to come. I had no money on me and felt that I couldn't offer any but I have offered to take the kids to the cinema at the weekend instead.

Agh, I would never have imagined that if I invited another child on a regular family day out that we'd be expected to pay for them. Glad I know that now! I'd always pay for my child if they were going along with another family. If it's a birthday thing that's different, I'd expect to pay for my child's birthday treat.

Mumzuki, whenever I took ds and his friends to the cinema for his birthday I specifically asked people not to send spending money. I was happy to buy popcorn but I didn't want a situation where 1 kid had a fiver to blow on pick and mix and others had nothing. Nor did I want to foot the bill for them all to have it!

I would just say next time "would you mind not sending spending money as I want to avoid the gift shop"

A birthday outing invite, I wouldn't expect to pay anything for an under 10 year old, I'd send a bit of cash to buy sweets/drink/food with an older child.

Any other invite to a normal day out I'd prob give £10 to parent to pay for my childs lunch/snack/drink and not expect any change of course. "Put that towards the cost" type thing.

I nearly always payed for other kids that we had invited out for the day and my kids were usually treated when they were invited out by another family. When my kids were invited out I would give them money to buy a round of ice creams or some sweets for everyone and I would remind them not to be greedy and to be very polite.

If it's a birthday then the host should pay for everyone unless it's clear on the invitation.

As always, being clear and upfront about any costs is the way to go.

If we invite one of DDs friends to go somewhere with us we always pay, admission, lunch, travel etc. Parents usually send spending money for the gift shop.

We're taking a friend to crufts in a couple of weeks, I'll pay for her train ticket, provide lunch, drinks and snacks, but I'd expect her to bring money if she wants to buy her dog a present.

If it's a birthday party invite, I would assume that everything would be paid for, for the people who are invited.
If it's just a day out, I would ask the parent if they wanted any money/if my child needed a packed lunch/drinks and get it sorted out beforehand.
If I invite someone else's child to go somewhere with us, I would always intend to pay for everything, and be pleased and thankful if their parent offered some money towards the costs. (Except for a birthday party, that would be our responsibility)
On the one occasion we took someone away on holiday with us, I rang her mum well beforehand and explained that we would love to take her DD with us, but it would cost X pounds for a contribution and would that be ok?
It was, and then she had her own spending money - she was of an age to be ok with managing her own money though, not a young child.
I guess that little lot boils down to, if in doubt, just ask - get everything clear and there can be no misunderstandings and everyone should be happy

DS is an only child so when we invite his friends out with us it is because we need want someone to join us. Therefore I pay. His best friend is also an only, so his mum feels the same way. However, at the cinema, the non-paying family provide the pick and mix and the cartons of juice (sneaked in, neither of us fancy paying stupid cinema prices).

I agree with diddl.

My dcs are older though so I would much prefer for another parent to take them out for the day so I can have the free time!

Whenever I've invited kids out I've expected to pay. If you invite someone to something and expect them to pay you should make it clear on the invite eg "would you like to come bowling with Tommy on his birthday? If so the cost is 7, please bring it with you"
I would always feed guest, but if food isn't included would specify that on the invite.
If my kids were invited I'd give them enough money so they could offer to pay for stuff, but be disappointed if they had to use it for admission tickets and feel the parent should have clarified this. You aren't really inviting someone somewhere if you expect them to pay, then it's more of a "shall we go here together" like adults do when discussing going out rather than 1 person inviting another to something.

I always send the DC with money and let the other parent know its there.sometimes it's used, other times its not.

All you need to do us ask the host, 'How much money do you think little Annie with need to being with her?'

That's it.

If we invite friends then we pay, i cant say it would ever cross my mind to issue an invitation and then expect payment from the guest.

If DS is invited out I always off to pay and send him with lunch/money depending on the plans. Its always not accepted but i like to offer it.

I always offer admission money and extra for lunch and a treat. If it's refused I'll give the parents something to buy the children an extra treat of some kind.

If it's a birthday I'd expect it to be paid for by birthday child's parents.

If day out randomly say Harry potter I'd check first. It kind of depends on cost. I might there expect entry done but I'd send money for snacks/shop/treats.

Why wouldn't you check first?

I usually ask either at the time DC is invited or when they are picked up.

There has been a couple of impromptu trips where I have only had about 50p on me and just sent them off and hoped for the best.

If it was a birthday party I wouldn't expect to pay or offer any money though.