AIBU to think that workmen should offer to take their shoes off in your house?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

I'm a shoes off in the house person, and always offer to take mine off when visiting. It's not because I'm a weird cream carpet visitor slippers freak. But I have carpet, a ds who likes to play on the floor. And a neighbourhood where the streets seem to be covered in dog shit.

I hate asking people to take off their shoes, so usually don't, and just hope they do anyway.

I've noticed workmen never take off their shoes, and lately I've had to have a few people in and around the house and gave been cringing at their boots standing on my bathmat mainly.

I just think shoes on carpets are gross.

And from another point of view my parents never did shoes off, and had a lot of visitors, and the carpets were all worn out where people walked, and many times had mud walked in.

If you unwittingly walked mud over someone's carpet why is that any less disrespectful than someone preferring shoes off?

Yes.

So you'd not be happy to have a person in a wheelchair in your house?

I think a wheelchair would be an exception seen as the person is relying on their wheelchair to MOVE.

But the dirt issue is the same. I'm failing to see the logic in your argument now.

Because you can't prevent everything can you? It doesn't mean that where you can you shouldn't try to keep things clean.

If I was in a wheelchair or had a visitor who was a wheelchair user I probably wouldn't have carpet, same reason I had wooden floor in the hallway so that the pushchair could be wheeled in.

My dad has anxiety and won't remove his shoes, he just about will for bed.

An able bodied person doesn't need their shoes and I think it's polite to offer to pop them off.

You can't expect workmen to take them off- they need them for safety reasons. Personally I think it rude to ask anyone to take them off and no one has yet told me why they prefer my bare feet to shoes.

I usually offer to remove shoes when at someone's house, if I remember, but it's only as a result of threads like this MN. IRL I had no idea people were so uptight about it. But as I say, if you say yes, I do silently judge you.

When people go to remove their shoes on arrival at mine, I rush to say there's no need, as I'd hate to be thought of as one of those types!

Tamer, presumably you washed your feet in the morning and haven't walked through the street in them?

No- I had a bath at night and in the summer I have quite likely gone around barefoot outside.

Japenesemargaret, I'm the opposite, I never used to as it wasn't something that was done in my parents house growing up.

But I've been asked to so I always just started offering automatically, the general response I get is yes please or that it's ok on wood floor but to take off if using the toilet upstairs.

I actually can't believe the way this thread has gone I must live in a different planet. I actually thought I was soft for not requesting people take them off, most people I know it's a set rule.

What in the street or in your back garden?

I can't say Dolls, it depends in the day and the weather.
I think that adults can make up their own minds. I took mine off today at a friends because I walked and they were wet, I was wearing socks. If I had gone in clean shoes in the car I wouldn't have done. In the dry summer my sandals are probably better than hot, sweaty feet.

Dolls. This isn't to be argumentative but is a genuine question;
You say you think it's polite to offer to take your shoes off. But would you think it was impolite not to? And if so would you still think it if it had never even been on that persons radar that some people do that?
I am genuinely baffled by it all. I've lived in two counties, lived in Navy quarters as a child, Army quarters as an adult (you have to keep quarters immaculate) and have never come across it, apart from, as I say, a thread on here. And if someone came to my house and removed their shoes unless muddy I'd think it odd. I'd actually find it much ruder to make people ill at ease by asking them to remove part of their outfit, or, even though I thought it was bizarre and a bit rude, commenting if they did.

MN has made me a bit cautious, as it appears to be full of carpet worshippers! Therefore I have asked people and so far everyone has looked surprised and asked me to keep them on! I sometimes think MN is a parallel universe.

DH is a contractor and doesn't take his boots of as they are safety boots. He does have a pair for "indoor" use to try to eliminate brining in dirt. He also works in HA homes and he would agree with you that many contractors have a shitty attitude towards their work in these types of houses. It's a real bug bear with him as he himself loathes crappy workmanship and gets sick of putting right others sloppy work.

Onesleep, I might think it's a bit rude yes.

For example I've just been to my mums, there is an overflowing drain and it stinks in their street, you HAVE to walk through it to get to their house as it's on a windy uphill alleyway type path. Because it's been raining you can't tell what's rain and what's sewerage, it's been going on unrepaired, I know it's there because I go there often and I can smell it.

Would it be right to then walk on someone's carpet? You might not know if you didn't visit regularly, as you might not know someone's dogs just done a big poo scooped it up and you've trod in the remains.

These are the things we're walking in in the street. Why WOULD you want to walk all that shit into someone's carpet?

Wow. So you'd think someone would be rude for not offering to do something that most people wouldn't even consider? Honestly? That does indicate to me that you have issues. I'm judging you for that if I'm honest. I'd think you rude for asking, but hey, your hang up. Walking through the shite or mud is a completely different matter.
I wondered last time this was on a thread if it was maybe a class issue, as it doesn't seem to be regional.

But to me taking shoes off is as much courtesy as offering a drink.

You may think I have 'issues' but lucky for me people I mix with seem to have the same ideas around this subject as me so...

Can't believe this is still going on.

People have doormats for a purpose. I've owned various houses for 40 years and never had dog shit or sewerage walked in on people's shoes. I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to take their shoes off because that's just plain rude. And I wouldn't offer in anyone else's house.

No one has ever asked me to take them off. I can't imagine it happening without me bursting out laughing. It's daft.

To me courtesy is letting guests feel welcome and not judged or uncomfortable.
I really do feel it's wrong and odd to think someone rude because they don't automatically do something which isn't the norm. And conversely it's very bad mannered.

So doll would find you rude, morgause. I just can't get over that.

I'm one of those "workmen" although I am a woman. I always offer to take my boots off when coming into the house, never yet has anyone said yes please. I wouldn't be offended if someone did ask though. Thing is, time is money and usually if you're there to measure up you just want to get in there, measure up, and get out of there without any fanfare so taking off boots is just another faff that can be done without. :)

I always take my cue from the resident of the house when it comes to shoes on/off. This is because living in the US taught me that people from different cultures have different norms. Many of my friends offer guest slippers.

My mum's family has a farm and there is no way anyone could come straight in from the yard or the fields and not change footwear. Mum's sister is married to a farmer who stumps into the kitchen in his wellies and is known among the extended family as The Caveman as a result. My aunt cleans up after him . Even growing up in Dublin in the 70s many friends' families had a no outdoor shoes in the house rule. In school we changed from outdoor to indoor shoes and back again to leave the building for lunch and going home.

My sister asks visitors and workmen to take off shoes and nobody in her family wears them indoors right in the city in Dublin. The street where her flat is is and the steps leading to the building door are often decorated with puke and urine thanks to a large transient group that overnights there, and also occasionally what she hopes is dog poo.

For me, the default is to offer to take off shoes. I was taught to be a considerate guest and that that meant not making assumptions or risking damaging the property of the hostess. I don't make an assumption about what type of person a hostess is if she says 'Thank you - you can put your shoes in the closet'. I don't judge people for being houseproud. If you work to pay for your nice carpet who am I to risk marking it?

But to me taking shoes off is as much courtesy as offering a drink

I can cope with that as long as you have the same courtesy in my house and keep them on.
I really don't want you traipsing around in socks.

Many of my friends offer guest slippers.

Now that is a step too far! I will take them off, but I won't wear the dire 'guest slippers'.