AIBU to think that workmen should offer to take their shoes off in your house?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

I'm a shoes off in the house person, and always offer to take mine off when visiting. It's not because I'm a weird cream carpet visitor slippers freak. But I have carpet, a ds who likes to play on the floor. And a neighbourhood where the streets seem to be covered in dog shit.

I hate asking people to take off their shoes, so usually don't, and just hope they do anyway.

I've noticed workmen never take off their shoes, and lately I've had to have a few people in and around the house and gave been cringing at their boots standing on my bathmat mainly.

I just think shoes on carpets are gross.

My HV and midwife both used to take their shoes off, I certainly didn't ask.

So did ds teacher when she did a home visit, I actually said there's no need but she insisted.

'Very nasty'? Really? Come off it, OP. Stop playing the delicate flower.

If they're wearing muddy boots then yes, I would expect them to take them off or put those blue covers over them (I've had a couple of workmen doing this, think it's a good idea). For normal shoes, no, I wouldn't expect them to take them off.

If you are with friends and feel comfortable, then of course it's fine to take your shoes off and curl up on the sofa, but you should still ask first (unless your host already has theirs off - you can take their lead). Your OP suggested we were talking about visitors to your home though who are not close friends/family.

To take your shoes off in a stranger's house is considered rude by some of us because it suggests a familiarity that does not exist. Similarly, asking someone to take their shoes off, suggests that they are so ill-bred they would walk all sorts of muck into your house, so that is also rather rude. Even the most ardent shoes-on people know full well that it is downright rude to enter someone's home without wiping one's feet, or removing wellies/riding boots etc.

I have had grubby little tradesmen come to my house and insist on taking off their synthetic footwear, so they can pad around on my floors in their synthetic socks. Personally, I'd prefer dog shit as it's easier to see and clear up.

Not a delicate flower at all, just you ask a question, maybe a daft question, maybe think something that most (on here) don't agree with, and suddenly you get people trying to do their amateur psychologist act.

I haven't read the whole thread (bad of me). I have a "shoes off" policy, but I always think that I would be anal to ask workman to take theirs off. However, I was pleasantly surprised when the last time I had workmen in my social housing flat, the workmen had plastic surrounding their work boots.
Even if they didn't I would have held my tongue and "cleaned up" after them. They have to wear their clothing for health and safety reasons. It's one of those situations where I think it's best to "compromise."

Are you still talking to me?

I suppose I should be flattered. You obviously value my opinion on your gripping shoes on or off dilemma.

But you just keep on reading

I know. It's a kind of morbid fascination!

I don't think it's rude to ask people to take their shoes off - but I do think it's rude to expect them to.

I think it is cultural and depends on how you were brought up - I grew up in a reform Jewish household and we were taught you take your shoes off in a sacred place or in a house where the family is in mourning - to me it feels very over familiar to take my shoes off and - unless I was specifically asked - I'd only do it somewhere I felt really comfortable.

With work men I think it really depends on what they're doing - I can imagine to lots of people it might feel strange/ uncomfortable to be doing your job with no shoes on. I wouldn't walk around in socks in my carpeted office!

With a bit of luck you'll go outside to day step in dog shit and unwittingly walk it all up your stairs.

Are ministers/vicars/priests expected to remove their shoes in this strange new universe? Meter readers?

Do people take their shoes off to visit others in hospital? Or when they stay in hotels?

It's all terribly twee somehow, this fretting about carpets. Reminds me of the 50s.

It depends on the weather too. In the summer most peoples shoes are dry and clean. Around now-not so much.

What have ministers, priests and vicars have to do with it? Do they have cleaner shoes than the rest of us?

In the summer though a lot of people wouldn't have socks on, is bare feet on carpets better or worse (not workmen, obviously, I imagine they wear socks with their workboots)

I think you've successfully proved my point that the shoes-off brigade are the ill-mannered ones!

I won't ask someone to remove their shoes, but my partner will. Bit awkward the other day as a friend came round and said 'am I okay to leave my boots on? They're clean'. Couldn't really say no. Am surprised visitors don't look at the pile of shoes by the door and the fact that the householders are in socks/slippers and take their cue.
When it comes to delivery folk, plumbers etc., they are supposed to leave their shoes on, but the covers idea is a good one. As long as they don't slip on the stairs!

Catsize if someone is in slippers in their own house that wouldn't give a visitor a clue to remove their shoes. I wear pyjamas often in the evening, I wouldn't expect anyone to turn up and change. Not everybody does this remove shoes in other people's house thing, not everyone had even encountered it. So a pile of shoes and the householder in slippers means nothing to some (all in my experience).

Shoe-removers, what happens if you ask and your visitor says, "I'd rather not." Do you insist?

Good way to lose friends.

Personally I rugby tackle my guests at the door, pin them down and forcibly remove their shoes putting them in a locked cupboard and reuniting said guest with their shoes on their exit.

No really it normally goes a bit like this. Guest asks shoes off? You politely say there's no need or if you don't mind, but secretly hope that they will. Most people I know automatically do anyway as they're more comfy. And that's that.

See, no one I know would think to offer. Until MN I didn't know this happened.

How about a sign?

What have ministers, priests and vicars have to do with it? Do they have cleaner shoes than the rest of us?

Ha! No, and you're missing my point. I don't ever have ministers in my house, but I was asking whether you'd ask people visiting in that capacity - ie professional, formal - to remove their shoes. You didn't answer, by the way.

I am wondering whether your HV/midwife/teacher visitors - the ones who took their shoes off - were all female, OP? Are (ahem) ladies expected to behave differently from men? Or would your male HV/midwife/teacher have to remove his shoes too?

Baby boomers I've said so many times I don't ask anybody to remove their shoes, I'd much, much prefer it but would be too afraid to ask.

I've been asked to take mine off loads of times usually friends with babies crawling on the floor, and my shoes are always clean as they can be.

They were all women yes, I don't expect men or women to act any different, but if anything in my experience men probably have more mucky shoes so I'd be hoping they'd take theirs off more.