A wedding gift one. Regarding money and contributing to something.

[ConfusedPixie]

DP and I are getting married next year. We're not planning on having a huge wedding or doing the whole gift list thing though we've already had queries as to what sort of thing we'd have on our 'gift list'

Would it be unreasonable of us to ask people to contribute to a lifetime National Trust membership for us if they want to give us anything? It's something we'd love and would hugely benefit us in the future when we have children (and before we have children to of course). Or would it be grabby to ask for money towards something? I know that paying towards the honeymoon is a big thing these days, my sister did it, but as we're likely going to be camping in Devon for our honeymoon that's not one that we'd need help with particularly!

You can't win. You get people on here moaning that it's "grabby" to have a gift list in the invitation and specify that you would prefer (you are not demanding) money or honeymoon contributions. In real life the majority of weddings I've been to in last 5 years (about 20!) have had some kind of mention of gifts in the invitation and the ones that haven't have caused people to moan because they don't know what to buy!

Yeah only on mn is this a problem. In rl I know more people would be annoyed because they didn't know what to buy if no mention in the invitation. And people don't tell you what buy they simply say 'if you want to get us a gift there is a list'.
Just do what you want and tell any mners to come here and have a moan and decline your invitation if too offended!

How about incorporating a mix of the above suggestions, so:

Inserting a no boxed gifts line in the invite implies that you would like cash without specifically asking for it. So if you do receive cash, you can then buy your NT membership with it.

Don't ask for a gift but wait for enquiries from guests.

Certainly do not ask for cash donations to help pay for the wedding as some here have reported to be on the receiving end of. Absolutely crass.

Its difficult enough sometimes organising going to a wedding if you have to travel long distance without all this fuss about people not having a gift list or whatever, then having to ring around and find out what they want. We have done loads of DH's cousins' weddings in various parts of the country with small DC and to be honest I prefer things as easy as possible and that means a gift list or giving money for something. If it was close family I would buy them a gift and would have some ideas, but for these huge weddings I don't feel bad at all about giving money.

So it depends on who you are inviting as well I guess.