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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think bouns presents are .....

45 replies

trampstamp · 19/02/2014 17:17

Indulgent to say the least I was watching this moring and they were talking about the rise in bouns presants were parents buy siblings a gift on the other child's birthday so they don't feel left out

They survey they came up with said 40% of parents now do this

Who are these people and should they be slapped with a wet haddock and brought back to reality

OP posts:

needaholidaynow · 19/02/2014 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZenNudist · 19/02/2014 17:41

Now at idea of tin of pilchards... In a sock, that'll learn 'em

DoJo · 19/02/2014 18:12

Ok, I don't give a shiny shit whether people do this or not, but what's the reasoning behind calling them 'bouns' presents? Or is it a repeated typo of 'bonus'?

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/02/2014 18:15

We dont but only have one

Each to their own when it comes to treats. We buy DS things all through the year whereas many believe children should only have something new twice a year on special occassions. I dont have to wait until christmas for an item I want so apply the same principle.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/02/2014 18:18

Pretty sure my parents did this with us in the early 80s. It was generally just a small present eg a book but it was nice.

Pretty ure neither of us are overly sociopathic now.

meddie · 19/02/2014 18:21

Never did this with mine ,as I have vivid memories of my own mother insisting my sister got to blow out the candles on my cake, so she wouldnt feel left out and I hated that I wasnt allowed to have anything just to myself ,for just one day a year

whatsagoodusername · 19/02/2014 18:38

My parents did this. My sisters and I had no trouble learning that it wasn't all about "me" in spite of this.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 19/02/2014 18:55

I do this. It makes me happy, it makes them happy, happiness is the key to my life so 'shrug' :)

I generally aim for gifts that can be played with by them all together, a play kitchen for example, a dolls house, a sand pit... then the non-birthday children will receive a related item that they can use to join in with the main pressie to birthday child.

Its what happened in our house when we were dc and I just carried it on. Me and my Dsis used to share our birthday money too, split 50/50 so we could go shopping together. This was from quite young and was our own decision. I cant do that with mine as there will be 4 of them and they don't receive a lot of cash so it wouldn't work.

Aboyandabunny · 19/02/2014 19:04

My parents did this in the 70s/80s with DB and myself, calling them 'Un-birthday presents'. We loved it and got quite excited over them.

SnowBells · 19/02/2014 19:07

I don't condone it. It's probably widely spread though considering some schools now have this 'medals for everyone' approach. Ha! Wait until those kids grow up, and they don't get something they want. How are they going to cope outside their little cocoon?

caketinrosie · 19/02/2014 19:11

I'm with meddle it's one day a year that's all about the birthday girl/boy. I've never done it, but tbh it doesn't particularly offend me if others do.

embouchure · 19/02/2014 19:13

No never done this. I didn't realise people did it until I read this thread.

steff13 · 19/02/2014 19:17

My grandmother used to get my brother a gift on my birthday, and vice versa. I've never thought about it as being weird.

AmberDextrous · 19/02/2014 19:18

We do this, it's lovely!

IneedAsockamnesty · 19/02/2014 19:20

What type of fish was it???

Rainbow trout and not even a nice organic one.

I'm my defence I was only 15 at the time and it was a 30 odd year old bloke who wouldn't take his hand off my knee,was I bugger going to use the lovely bit of monk fish I also happened to have about my person.

BehindLockNumberNine · 19/02/2014 19:22

My parents always did this. Despite this dsis and I had no problems growing up thinking that it was always about us

I now do it with my dc. Just a little token gift of around £5, usually a book these days, when they were little it was one of those small playmobil sets or a colouring book and crayons.

Slap away.

I personally find parents who spend in excess of £50 on each child at Christmas ridiculous. Would not slap them with a wet fish over it though.

rockybalboa · 19/02/2014 19:24

What's a bouns presant?

My kids don't get gifts on their siblings' birthdays if that's what you're on about. Stupid idea.

Greythorne · 19/02/2014 19:33

Never heard the term "bouns"
Is it a typo?
Bonu?

5Foot5 · 19/02/2014 20:52

I think it slightly odd but if it works for some people then fair enough.

The only reservation I have is whether this in any way contributes to children who can't accept when it is someone else's special day. I am sure I have seen threads on here where people talk about birthday parties where a child other than the birthday child wants to blow out the candles or help to unwrap the presents.

holidaywoe · 19/02/2014 21:12

We don't do bonus presents, however my two boys are very close and they have mass consultations with each other about what to ask for which is very sweet!
At Christmas they also make a pretty much joint list and you won't find one thing in the house that either boy will say is "theirs".
My friend however sticks to the day being only about the birthday child and her kids are SO protective over things belonging to just them as it was bought for their birthday.

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