So I think I probably ABU but I still feel irritated by the following situation and just need some MNetters to make me see sense.
So about 4 years ago we helped out a family member by giving them my car. I was due for a replacement anyway and it just meant we brought forward the purchase by about 6 months. Obviously we lost the trade-in value ( about £1k) and we had to repay the outstanding loan so we could give it to them unencumbered ( about £1.5k) so there was a significant cost to us in doing this, but their need was greater than ours at the time.
A couple of months ago DH's car started playing up and we resigned ourselves to getting a replacement. This was about 2 years earlier than we had planned for but his commute has increased dramatically in the last 18 months so not surprising really that car has worn out. It would be a bit of a stretch to buy another car right now as we are still paying for mine and have another 2 years to go and so I posted on here about whether I would be unreasonable to ask family member for return of car ( they had since inherited another which is almost brand new and were no longer using the one we had given). The general consensus was that I was not BU.
Unfortunately before we contacted family member DH's car died and had to be scrapped ( garage told us not economic to fix). We had to go and buy a replacement car at short notice. I asked DH to contact family member (his side of family) to get return of car. We thought car may not really be suitable for DH but thought we would at least get something for trade-in and so be able to borrow less. DH was told that car has been sold. So nothing we can do.
So we take a loan and use all our savings to buy DH a second hand car.
Anyway, we are going on holiday with this family member soon and I emailed asking when we need to pay our share of holiday accommodation ( about £200). Family member calls DH to say that she and her DH will pay our share of the accommodation as thank you for giving them car and for other stuff that we have done over the years.
Now I know this is a really generous offer and I should be pleased and grateful but I feel really annoyed. It cost us £2.5k to give them the car and we did it gladly to help them out. But now they think that by paying £200 for our half of the accommodation ( we still have to pay our own travel) that we are in someway "even". They have just inherited £200k from the person who left them the car so I know they are feeling flush which is why they have done this but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I can't explain why. They don't know that the car still had finance on when we gave it to them but they must have realised that we would lose out on the trade-in. We have helped them out loads financially and practically over the years ( DH has given up countless weekends off, of which he gets very few, to go and redecorate their house which is a 6 hour round trip - they never even pay his fuel costs), he has laid laminate floor in their house on Xmas Eve because that was when they moved in and they wanted it doing on that day, he has landscaped gardens at 2 different properties, laid a patio, redecorated their hall, stairs and landing , the list goes on. The most he gets is a 4pack of beer.
I don't know why I feel like this. It's just that they are making it out to be some grand gesture they are doing for us ( they've told all the family) and part of me wishes they just hadn't. I'm sure IABU but I can't put my finger on why. Am I just woefully entitled ?