Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DH cake at work?

77 replies

Aworryingtrend · 19/02/2014 10:49

DH is having a really hard time at work at the moment, one of his colleagues (who went for the promotion that DH got) is making his life a misery and his boss is too busy to care. I only work around the corner from him so would really like to take him some cake at lunchtime just to show I'm thinking of him and I support him. But worried it might look a bit...I don't know, interfering? Inappropriate? I never normally go to his work apart from to take DS in when he was born 16 months ago.

WWYD?

OP posts:
BeautifulBlondePineapple · 19/02/2014 11:10

I think it's a nice thought. But I'd buy the cake & text him to meet me outside the office. Definitely wouldn't take it in.

Chivetalking · 19/02/2014 11:11

It's a nice idea in theory but probably better just to meet him for lunch.

Or a private coffee where you could present him with a slice to scarf away from hawk eyed piss-taking colleagues.

falulahthecat · 19/02/2014 11:15

*bitter, not butter. O-o

Reminder · 19/02/2014 11:33

Nothing to do with keeping the little woman out of the office; more that professional and personal are separate.Im always a bit Hmm when women receive flowers at work too but if it's going to happen far better to have them delivered than bring them in person.

In this situation I just think its more likely to make things worse for op's dh than better

Original poster
Aworryingtrend · 19/02/2014 11:45

Thanks all, Grin at the idea of bird poo cake! We did meet for lunch last month and that was really nice but can't really be a regular thing as we are both so busy with meetings etc. I just happen to have a quieter day today and thought I would call in. Like many posters I feel it isn't the 'done' thing but I can't seem to articulate why?! But then I am torn because he would so love a piece of carrot cake I know it would make his day but... am torn!

OP posts:
squoosh · 19/02/2014 11:51

I wouldn't. I wouldn't want my partner dropping in with an eclair to cheer me up at work. Not sure what's 1950's about that!

Save it till I get home in the evening thanks.

Crinkle77 · 19/02/2014 11:52

I agree with maras2. If your hubby is already having trouble with someone at work it might give them more ammunition to make trouble for him. I would get a nice cake for after his tea.

divisionbyzero · 19/02/2014 11:59

I think blowing the lid on him feeling miserable may be a victory for the other person in one or both of their eyes.

Your lovely and probably much needed sentiment can be expressed away from prying eyes :)

scottishmummy · 19/02/2014 12:00

Great your attuned to how he's feeling but no unannounced visit or cake at work
The commiseration needs to take place at home,not in arena of work
Plus it leads to loads of why questions he'll need to hurriedly answer

Better to plot at home,put works right over the cake and tea

AwfulMaureen · 19/02/2014 12:00

Why is everyone assuming the DH works in an office? He might work anywhere!

scottishmummy · 19/02/2014 12:02

Why not,office is walls,desk,phones,PC.and yes it's location most of us work in

AwfulMaureen · 19/02/2014 12:04

Socttish I wouldn't say that...where do you get that from? "Most of us"?

AwfulMaureen · 19/02/2014 12:04

Most workplaces have PCs and phones!

scottishmummy · 19/02/2014 12:17

I'd commiserate at home with him,not in the office

Viviennemary · 19/02/2014 12:22

No don't. Take him out for a nice meal or other treat you think he would enjoy.

CrazyOldCatLady · 19/02/2014 12:26

I'd probably go and buy him a nice lunch, including carrot cake, then text him and tell him I was outside with it. Give him the lunch and a kiss and scarper.

Reminder · 19/02/2014 12:31

Why does it matter so much Maureen?

If he works outside he office on his own then opwoukdnt have these concerns and it really would be odd to turn up with cake while he was serving customers in a shop/dealing with patients/teaching/on a building site/driving a bus

EduCated · 19/02/2014 12:36

It depends on the workplace - when I worked in a shop it would have been absolutely fine for people to drop in and say hi. In my current job not so much, our office is in a 'staff only' area and it would be awkward for someone dropping in.

SarahBumBarer · 19/02/2014 12:47

Eh -if you're worried why don't you just text him and say that you have a peice of carrot cake with his name on it and would he like you to pop in with it or save it for home? Then he can choose.

My DH would not give a rat's ass if I popped in to his work (if he still worked OoH) because he is not the kind of guy who gives a tiny little shit about people he works with being weird about his wife making a nice gesture. Thank fuck!

BlueStones · 19/02/2014 13:00

Sheesh, what's the problem? I'd love it if my partner did this. OP knows her husband, surely?

squoosh · 19/02/2014 13:04

Well she doesn't seem to be sure at all if he'd appreciate it.

scottishmummy · 19/02/2014 13:19

Undoubtedly her dh would like they gesture.questionable is reaction of others
Understandably,has misgivings about how others will react,will it cause dh jip
IMO,not appropriate and may give ammo to his detractors to be nosy

LayMeDown · 19/02/2014 13:23

Is there a reception/ security desk. I'd probably drop it there in a box or bag with his name. Then text him saying you've left him some cake to cheer him up.
He pops out to get it from reception at his own convenience. Any saddo in his office who care enough to notice will just think he bought it for himself. Then no one can tease him about his wife loving him Hmm.

scottishmummy · 19/02/2014 13:27

Yes,but he's got to work with these so called saddos.hes having hard time
This isn't about whether not wife loves him,that's not point.not about her
It's about support that doesn't draw undue attention to him,or cause additional distress

AmIthatWintry · 19/02/2014 13:28

Nice gesture but not at work. Reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross took the picnic to Rachel's work.