aibu to think it's ridiculous to contemplate sitting young children seperate at the theatre

[velveteenmummy]

Oh I am spitting feathers, DH (doesn't stand for darling husband in this case) has just rang to ask what I thought about sitting children seprate in the theatre!! in the west end! ds is 5 and dd is 6, one seat was 6 rows in front of the other and one was some where out to the left. so they would be sitting in a giant triangle nowhere near each other, I think they would scramble up his legs if he even tried to sit them there and walk off, the other thing is they are not that fussed about 'taking in a show' what infuriates me most is it's all about his image, I think he's a bit to far removed from reality to take care of kids. What do you think. I won't even tell you about valentines!!

Drivenfrom, I had an incident when I was little so I think this is always my first concern unfortunately, but then all of the other possibilities flood in, logistics, scared children, disrupting others etc, maybe sometimes I'm a little uptight and think of too many things possibly going wrong, I do tend to overthink which is why I started the thread, I wasn't 100% sure if I was being unreasonable, but I think in this case there are too many real things that can go wrong, and if I was there, in that situation (which I wouldn't be) I just wouldn't be able to watch the show my head would be spinning watching the children, but I do think he would zone out and be totally engaged with the performance, which just makes it worse for me. When I wrote the thread I still didn't know if he had taken them into the theatre or not, sitting them seperate, he wouldn't answer calls for about half an hour until I said in a text I would call his sister, then he answered. I have calmed down now, thanks for the replies, he will be back tomorrow calling me unreasonable, I'll just show him this thread I think.

Sorry about your experience, velveteen. I didn't mean to suggest that the DC being sat next to a dodgy person was a silly consideration - of course it isn't. I just meant that that the very likely scenario of a child that age being upset/scared or needing something during the performance was enough to rule out sitting separately for me, without even taking worse harm into account.

You might also draw your dh's attention to the fact that the recommended age for Charlie according to the show's own website is 7+! That in no way means that younger children wouldn't enjoy it but it certainly does not mean that you should bring two younger children than the recommended age and then leave them to fend for themselves for two and a half hours!

Charlie & Matulda are two shows you need to book ahead for

I've seen Matilda - it's absolutely fabulous but in places quite dark & intense. I would NOT be impressed at having paid West End prices to have fidgety unaccompanied children next to me during the more moving/ creepy/ intense bits

We lost dneice at the local theatre too when she was 5. We were watching Hi-5 stage show & she spotted her school friend & dashed across to her as the audience was leaving.

If he's determined to give them the West End "experience" why doesn't he take them to Lion King which is not as busy and just as much fun for them?

Yes drivenfrom you're are totally right and the little one is very sensitive, I',m sorry to bring it up at all, I just wanted to explain why it's always the first thing I worry about, but then I take into account all of the other very important points people have mentioned. I don't think he even considered the show length or any of the impracticalities of the show. I shall go through them all one by one when he gets back!

when I checked for him I checked lion king too and they were fully booked the only show that was available was witches but he wasn't interested. I must check the minimum age though I would expect they may be 6+ or over as people have mentioned.

To be honest I was spitting blood when I went to see Matilda and there were two five / six year olds fidgeting, kicking my chair, talking and ultimately crying all the way through, and they were with their parents. It's just they seemed to think that it was more important they saw the show than do something about their evident boredom and ultimately misery and stop them causing misery to all around them I didn't say anything but the ten year old girl next to them did

it's just selfish isn't it? it took me a while to work that out, I dunno why.
Chaos the day after valentines I noticed a lovely bunch of red roses placed on a basket I have in the hall with kids rucksacks etc in, I thought I'd leave it a while to see if they were presented, later that night I said what are these flowers doing here, he didn't answer, I reasoned are they for work (he does buy the flowers for work) or for me? or for someone else? no answer...I left them there, later I noticed they had rolled off and fallen on the floor. They never were presented, after he left I rescued them and put them in a vase. I can't work it out.

YANBU
DD1 would have been fine at 6, she was totally mesmerised by plays.

DD2 wouldn't have done it, she knew she fidgeted and always wants the loo.

I know that the behaviour is totally different from valentines day to today with the children in the theatre, that is grand scale wrong. I just have a feeling these and many other incidences are born from the image he portrays, I think the idea of taking the children to the theatre and the process of buying flowers on valentines day and having them at work all day is far more important than giving the flowers to me or making sure the kids are safe and happy IYKWIM. I told you I have a tendancy to overthink...I have been trying to work out his behaviour for quite a while though.

Ah, OP, I know exactly what you mean. I had an ex who was very like this - he loved grand scale gestures but I always felt it was more about being seen to do them (by men that he admired, like friends he looked up to / felt competitive with or work colleagues) rather than about the intimacy that they should create/celebrate.

At one point he was noisily planning a very public proposal to me, which as our relationship nosedived, he decided against (also in a fanfare of public discussion - none of which I knew about until later.)

My DH is absolutely opposite. Couldn't muster a public display of affection if there was a gun held to his head, but the private ones are understated, personal and heartfelt. It fits me much better.

I am sorry that you're feeling this. Has he always been like it, or is it a recent change?

I think I hadn't noticed, but we have become more distant recently, and I'm seeing things much clearly now. Looking back though I see he has always been the same. He works an awful lot so I don't see him that much, I think I can put up with things normally but when the children are involved I obviously can't ignore his behaviour.

That sounds like a tough situation, velveteen. Maybe start a thread in Relationships? There are lots of people there who could give good advice that you won't get on AIBU.

It is indeed ridiculous! Yanbu at all. There is no way on earth my Dd would want to do that now, aged 11. At 5 or 6 she would have gone bonkers! I would n't even fancy that. Being with your family or friends and enjoying the performance with them is all part of it.

Thanks driven, I just needed a little reassurance on the theatre issue just to confirm it wasn't me who was wrong, I will try a relationships thread no doubt when things start unravelling fully, I'll probably need lots of advise then on my rights, finance etc. But for the moment thanks everyone for you're support and comments, I will keep drawing on this support too in the future whenever I doubt myself, mumsnet is great for that when you don't have close family and friends around. thanks again.