to be peed off with BIL?

[ButterflySandwich]

We lent our coffee table to my brother in law for his youngest sisters wedding, they used it in the house for a display. Afterwards I kept asking DH to get it back but he said it was in their garage and not doing any harm, it would only sit in our garage. And so it sat. Four years later and I ask my BIL for it back as we're moving house and could use it. He said he'd "given" it to a second hand shop (everyone else in the family said he sold it) a couple of years ago.

AIBU to think he should have asked us first if we wanted it back before selling it? I feel like it was really dishonest. He's like that.

how much could he possibly have got for it?

I can't imagine a coffee table that would fetch more than £15 second hand, unless it was an actual antique.

I think how much he got for it is irrelevant.

Sorry but leaving it for 4 years to me comes across as either you forgot or didn't care about it enough to bother. Have you not seen him in 4 year? If you have then why didn't you ask for it.

I've had my brothers stuff in my shed/cupboards/attic for a good 6/7 years (he sold his house and went back to uni). It would never occur to me to get rid without OKing it with him first (and it does come up in conversation occasionally).

You should be very annoyed with dh and bil. Bil should have asked you first.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier, BIL and his family came over for dinner.

I couldn't ask for it back because my DH said I couldn't, that it was fine where it was. Our families are close and see each other almost every weekend. So you'd think he would have said something! It turns out he also sold a lot of my FILs stuff as well without his permission (FIL and BIL live together). Apparently they argued about it at the time.

Thank y'all. I feel much better for having vented my anger!

Sorry but if your DH said it was fine where it was to you who knows what he said to your BIL. I think as you say maybe there is more to your relationship with BIL than just this table so you are peed off with him.

I personally would have asked before selling someone else's things, but I can also see his point - you used him for storage for 4 (or 2) years. If you needed the table, you should have asked for it.

I couldn't ask for it back because my DH said I couldn't.
Is he the boss of you? If you have to blame anyone other than yourself, your DH should be the one in your gunsights.
I'm another one stunned at the notion that the entire family would have to travel en masse to collect a coffee table...

"I couldn't ask for it back because my DH said I couldn't, that it was fine where it was."

Eh?

Did you ever want it back in the 4yrs?

Why do people think it's ok to do this ?? If be raging !

You should choose a replacement and your BIL should pay for it.

THE WHOLE SITUATION SOUNDS VERY ODD indeed. Sorry for caps. Lock on by accident.

Your bil is a piss taker. It's not his stuff.

I'd be asking for money personally.

Otherwise it's known as theft.