Have NC'd.
We have 2DDs, one age 4, one age 8 weeks. I am BFing so doing all night feeds while DH snores away in the spare room. In 8 weeks, I have only disturbed him and asked for help once at night, at around 4am after DD2 had been crying for most of the night.
Last night he had a night out with the lads. Prearranged and not a problem but it was likely to be a late one so I asked him to sleep at his mate's house so that he didn't disturb me or DDs. Both of us were happy with the arrangement.
Of course, DD2 chose last night to be awake for most of the night. I got 3 hours sleep, divided into 2 chunks. She has refused to settle since 4am and DD1 has been awake since 5am. At 5.30am I gave up and we all got up.
DH came in at 7am as agreed. He was still extremely drunk from the night before. I told him about the horrible night we had just had and he told me to go to bed. Obviously I can't leave 2 small children in the care of someone who is so drunk so I said no. He then told me to stop being such a drama queen and to get up to bed. I probably shouldn't have reacted but I was so tired that I did and ended up shouting that he should be offering sympathy, not calling me names. He then said that I was a horrible, horrible person when I was tired. The only reason I am so fucking tired is because I do all of the night care of our DCs and 90% of the daytime care while he swans around like nothing has changed in his life. So yes, maybe I am grumpy when I am tired but it is only because I am at breaking point and instead of giving me a cuddle, 'D'H calls me names. He will say that he offered me help and I turned it down but the offer of childcare from someone who is so drunk they can't walk in a straight line is hardly helpful. AIBU? I am furious but so fogged by sleep deprivation that it is hard to tell if I am BU or not.