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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have hoped that DH would actually have bothered to open his Valentine's Day card

22 replies

TwinklySprout · 14/02/2014 20:13

We don't make a huge deal about Valentine's Day or birthdays or anything else round here. But we've generally exchanged cards and chocolates on Feb 14th.

So this morning, I left a card and some truffles beside the kettle. He told me at 6.30am that he'd seen them. It's now 8pm and he's pottering around upstairs. I think he might have opened the truffles but the card is still lying there unopened. He hasn't given me a card.

AIBU to feel slightly sad? Yes I've got this in proportion - nobody's died - but it would be nice if he could at least pretend to be interested.

Would it be excessively childish of me to drop the card in the bin next time I'm in the kitchen?

OP posts:
BringMeTea · 14/02/2014 20:16

He sounds very mean indeed. Can you tell him that? I would be very upset.

JeanSeberg · 14/02/2014 20:19

No it wouldn't be mean. Is this normal behaviour?

LexiLouise · 14/02/2014 20:19

No you are not unreasonable to feel like this. That is pretty hurtful

If it was me I;d open they envelope rp the card into four bits and put it back in the envelope to make a point and leave it in the same place so when he does eventually open it he'll relise he has been a dick......but that's just me

midnightagents · 14/02/2014 20:22

Yanbu - particularly seeing as its what you normally do. It's bound to make you upset if he changes the routine without even mentioning it :(

penguinplease · 14/02/2014 20:29

Next yr bypass him and buy yourself something. If he is lovely the rest of the time I'd let it go tbh.. And save it to remind him another time!!

CoffeeTea103 · 14/02/2014 20:33

Yanbu that is pretty hurtful. I'm sure when you stop putting any effort he will notice that.

Fairylea · 14/02/2014 20:33

Yanbu. I'd be very hurt. How rude of him!

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 14/02/2014 20:34

YANBU, I would be really upset.

SantanaLopez · 14/02/2014 20:39

Any chance he has forgotten? I can't remember what I saw or said at 6.30am.

tripecity · 14/02/2014 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SybilRamkin · 14/02/2014 20:45

Perhaps he's just absent-minded? My DH is a bit like that, he doesn't mean to be hurtful, it just doesn't occur to him that forgetting to open a card might upset me.

clockwatching77 · 14/02/2014 20:47

I feel your pain op. Dh left for work early this am so I presented him with card and chocs this eve. It remains unopened. He apparently didn't have time to get me a card. We normally do cards. The fact that supermarkets sell cards and indeed chocs proves he could have made the effort as he has been to a supermarket to stock up on his favourite snacks lastweek. Also had time to preorder the latest computer game he wanted. He was more bothered aboht that.

JeanSeberg · 15/02/2014 06:29

It's all a bit shit really isn't it?

Helpyourself · 15/02/2014 06:44

How are things normally between you two?
It's horrible behaviour- ask him why.
Flowers

TamerB · 15/02/2014 07:00

I think it is hurtful.

clockwatching77 · 15/02/2014 10:26

O. My czrd is still unopened this morning op. I really shouldn't have bothered.

serant · 15/02/2014 10:35
Cake
RudolphtheRedknowsraindear · 15/02/2014 10:38

Mumsnet Thanks, Cake and of course,Wine

harriet247 · 15/02/2014 10:44

That would hurt my feelings too-maybe hes embarrassed that hed forgotten? I would eat the chocs and bin the card

Topaz25 · 15/02/2014 11:55

YANBU! He saw the chocolates and card at 6.30am on Valentine's Day, he had more than enough time to open and acknowledge them and then run out and get you chocolates and a card if he'd forgotten! Ask him what's going on and tell him he hurt your feelings and that if he doesn't want to exchange cards in future it would be better if he let you know in advance.

Topaz25 · 15/02/2014 11:56

I understand the temptation to bin his card but I think communicating will resolve this more effectively.

Poppy67 · 15/02/2014 11:57

I would bin the card and talk to him about his twattish behaviour!

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