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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop making DS his packed lunch

21 replies

Redbookworm · 14/02/2014 16:10

DS is 13 and I have just discovered 4 days worth of packed lunches in his room. He has eaten the biscuits but left the sandwiches, fruit etc. I have told him he will have to make his own from now on. So he told me I am a rubbish mum and want him to starve!!! So AIBU?? I will still have to make packed lunches for his younger brothers so should I just carry on making his too! He sometimes has school dinners as I put money on an account but he spent £40 in two weeks which I can't afford so now only put money on occasionally.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 14/02/2014 16:11

My dd has been doing her own lunch since year 6. Don't see why they shouldn't?

hippo123 · 14/02/2014 16:11

At 13 surely he should be making his own lunch anyway?

Morgause · 14/02/2014 16:16

DSs 1 & 2 did it from age 7. They can't moan if they make it themselves.

Original poster
Redbookworm · 14/02/2014 16:17

Yes he probably should have been doing it for years!

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 14/02/2014 16:17

I used to make my own while my Mum would get up to make lunch for my older brother who was working.

Original poster
Redbookworm · 14/02/2014 16:19

I will get all my boys to do their own from now on! One less job for me in the mornings ??.

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2013 · 14/02/2014 16:39

YANBU - 13 is plenty old enough to make his own lunch!

Hopefully it will make him realise the effort you put in.

I'd be having words about the wasted food as well - has he done that and instead bought school meals with the money you put on his account?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 14/02/2014 16:41

Well that doesn't make any sense.

He isn't eating the sandwiches you are currently making so how is he going to starve if you stop making them? He clearly hasn't thought that through, has he? Grin

Why isn't he eating the sandwiches? That's what you need to get to the bottom of.

MrsDavidBowie · 14/02/2014 16:42

Good grief, I stopped making packed lunches in yr 5. They made their own every night.
Ds is yr 10 and gets £10 a half term on his catering card for emergencies.
You need to talk with him about wasting food/using £40 in 2 weeks.

HypodeemicNerdle · 14/02/2014 16:55

YANBU, my 7 and 9 yr olds make their own lunch, I am a meany mummy!

Skivvywoman · 14/02/2014 16:56

I'm the wrong person to give advice Wink

missymayhemsmum · 14/02/2014 17:09

Lazy wotsit! YANBU, let him make his own.
Better still get him to work out a packed lunch menu he actually intends to eat (must include protein, vitamins, etc) and send him shopping with a budget to get it.

KnappShappeyShipwright · 14/02/2014 17:10

My DD makes her own packed lunch. She's in yr 8 and at the moment we are going through the familiar battle of eating appropriate food at the appropriate time. Giving her control of what goes in her lunch bag seems to be helping... DS & DD2 (yrs 5 & 6) make their own lunches too.

Alternatively, you can stop giving him the treats and provide only sandwiches & fruit until they are eaten.

Nomama · 14/02/2014 18:13

Hell, give him THE SAME sandwiches until he eats them (or they turn green and walk off on their own).

He's 13.... he should be able to work it out for himself... no more money on account, sandwiches and no biscuits. Simple really. He eats or he goes without lunch... he really won't starve.

AnnoyingOrange · 14/02/2014 18:17

School dinner are just under £3 a day for the meal deal at my dc's school

So that's £15 a week Shock

intheround · 14/02/2014 18:22

My ds has made his own since age 10. If he forgets he has a school lunch.

Jinty64 · 14/02/2014 19:12

I'm going to go against the grain here. I think 13 is a very vulnerable age and you can work with them or against them. He will know he is in the wrong here and you would be better sitting down with him and finding a solution to suit you both.

I get up early every morning to make ds2's (16) packed lunch before he goes out to school. He will pick ds3 (7) up from ASC, give him his shower and listen to his reading whilst I make dinner. It works both ways.

itsbetterthanabox · 15/02/2014 02:21

I can't believe people having their 7 year olds doing their own!

have4goneinsane · 15/02/2014 02:45

my older 3 (10,9,7) make their own and even my 3yr old can put together most of her snack for kinder with guidance.

We had similar problems with lunch not being eaten and everything except the sweet stuff ending up in the bottom of DS2's bag

Now my 3 have a chart with 5 columns on the fridge - they have to have one item from each column - (A) Fruit (B) Sandwich with choice of filling (C) Some form of protein or dairy - egg/kabana/cheese/yoghurt (D) some other carb - crackers/popcorn/muesli bar (E) cake/biscuit or something else from columns A-D

They understand the system, they get a balanced lunch that they have chosen, it takes a load off me and on the whole they eat it. Still have occasional problems with DS2, but if he leaves stuff then I restrict him to columns A-D for a while (he hates muesli bars!)

Bogglescrabblechess · 15/02/2014 07:51

I think you could spend a week helping them in the background so they know how to do it and how to make the lunch balanced. Then let them make the lunches themselves but check the contents every so often.

Bogglescrabblechess · 15/02/2014 07:53

I think it also depends what he does round the house generally? Does he cook any meals for the family, does he wash up, dies he Hoover etc.. You need to be enabling him to look after himself.

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