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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Valentine dilemma

17 replies

shggg245 · 14/02/2014 12:52

Ds (7) received Valentine's card and chocs from little girl in his class. She looked very excited, he played it cool and thanked her. I responded to mum and said 'isn't that kind - how cute.'

So should I buy card so he can give her one, won't have the chance to discuss with him before pick up and don't wanna force him into doing it. I'm not into cards and only do birthdays but don't wanna appear tight or unreasonable.

Can't trust myself with my humbuggy ways but think it would look abit false but then equally don't wanna appear mean. Ds likes this gir she is a good friend. Please advise and I will go with majority. Blimey!

OP posts:

Proseccoisnotrah · 14/02/2014 12:53

Ah, how sweet. I would!

TwittyMcTwitterson · 14/02/2014 12:54

Hmmmm. Hard one. I say yes buy but you don't want to mislead her that he's buying it because he has a crush. Does she have a crush or just being nice?

Elllimam · 14/02/2014 12:54

I would too :)

SomethingkindaOod · 14/02/2014 12:56

Yes, pick up a little card and some chocs before pick up
You've just reminded me of being 7 btw, my first valentines day card and a packet of love hearts...

vestandknickers · 14/02/2014 12:57

I wouldn't buy a card, but maybe just a little box of chocs to say thank you.

Dahlen · 14/02/2014 12:58

Unless he wants to, I wouldn't. IT's a bad idea - even at this tender age where it's entirely innocent - to encourage the idea that if someone likes you in that way you have to respond in kind and be grateful for unsolicited gifts. All that is due is an acknowledgement, preferably a nice one if he's good friends with her.

Original poster

shggg245 · 14/02/2014 13:01

He def likes her and she does seem like a nice girl. Big brother was teasing him saying 'you've got a girlfriend' and he wasn't impressed. He said she's just my friend and I'm too young to have gf. He's got his head screwed on!

It's a bloody minefield and he's only 7! Perhaps i'll just invite her to tea one day as they do get on.

OP posts:

pumpkinsweetie · 14/02/2014 13:03

aww how very sweet

I totally would!

My 11yo dd celebrated her bday a few weeks back and a boy at her school bought her a card and a necklace, bless

SanityClause · 14/02/2014 13:04

I agree with Dahlen.

A nice thank you - even a thank you letter - is what is called for.

Next year, you could ask him a few days before if he would like to give a Valentine's gift to anyone. But not if your family doesn't "do" Valentines - that would seem false.

MrsBartowski · 14/02/2014 13:04

A little boy in DS's reception class had a couple of roses to give out today.

I had no idea Valentines had become such a thing at such a young age. It's sweet but DS has NO clue what it even is.

13 year old DD on the other hand... she has a fish and chip date tonight!

I have a date with Netflix :)

JoinYourPlayfellows · 14/02/2014 13:08

I wouldn't be encouraging a 7 year old boy to get involved in this kind of weird, age-inappropriate shite.

He's quite right, he's way too young to have a girlfriend.

A Valentine's card isn't something you are expected to reciprocate.

In fact, they're supposed to be given anonymously.

Original poster

shggg245 · 14/02/2014 13:08

Thanks everyone - i'm a miserable git but agree thankyou note would be best.

She can also come for tea one day. Weird - I have no issue with telling people that I don't do Christmas cards but this has done my head in!

OP posts:

SanityClause · 14/02/2014 13:08

Yes, invite her for tea. Lovely!

DS has a friend who is always inviting him over. I feel embarrassed at not inviting him as much, as I work full time, and the friend has a SAHM.

However, when it came to his birthday, the two boys discussed what gift the friend might want, and came up with something that is more than I would usually spend. So, I felt like being generous in this way was something I could do.

Original poster

shggg245 · 14/02/2014 13:14

Sorted then - tip top!

OP posts:

SingingGerbil · 15/02/2014 10:05

My DS has a "girlfriend" for a few months when he was 9. They were more like good mates tbh. On valentine's day they exchanged cards and he gave her a hairband and she gave him a homemade keyring. Very sweet. He was really sad when we moved towns and had to leave her behind. I don't think there's anything wrong in getting a card as long as DS is happy to give it to her.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 15/02/2014 11:16

We "do" Valentine's Day for the children (basically, the food that day is either pink or heart-shaped or served in a heart-shaped dish and we have small heart-shaped boxes I fill each year with appropriate sweets) but I was a bit to see on Fb the night before that one boy in her class was giving two girls a card and small teddy each. I was waiting for emotional fallout DD1 has form! but she was just excited at the dinner I had cooked. Next year, though, I might gently ask. I had half-thought of sending her in with enough sweets for the whole class (like mini-Love Hearts) but ran out of life to do it and another Mother sent in mini-gingerbread men. A total minefield.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 15/02/2014 11:16

Oh, she is Yr2.

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