to buy DS another toy

[deliverdaniel]

I know I was U but I jsut felt so bad for him and handled it badly. Question is, how badly. Will he be ruined forever?

DS 3 yrs is very very anxious about going to the doctor after he had some health issues and had a nasty procedure done about a year ago. He had to go today and have another unpleasant thing done so I told him we would go after and choose a new Thomas train at the toyshop. When we got to the toyshop, DS2 was crying, and I was in a rush so I pushed him into choosing quickly. He chose a train, got to the checkout, paid then opened the package, whereupon he burst into floods of tears. It was the wrong train, and not the one he meant to choose. I know I should probably have held firm and said he had to stick with it now it was not returnable , but I remember that feeling from childhood and I caved and bought him another one. Have I ruined him?

I know this is a total first world problem. sorry. Just on my mind.

It was a lovely thing to do. He was rushed and disappointed and you made a small brave boy happy . How could that be wrong ?
Now go to sleep

aw Trumpton, that's the nicest message ever :-) thanks so much.

I don't think it was wrong as you say you hurried him so he probably panic bought. We've all done that before! He's not going to be ruined forever.

I remember that feeling! Your boy has had to be very brave, he was flustered and made a mistake. What a lovely mummy for making it right again. You haven't created a monster . Hope you are sleeping now, and that I will be sleeping soon.

thanks so much everyone. You've made me feel so much better. I love mumsnet.

He's not ruined.

A bit different but at 2, when I was pg, DS had frequent impulse purchases from the supermarket as it was the only way I could get him round the shop some days as my SPD gave me no alternative to him walkung free range, and a tantrum would leave us stranded for ages until he was ready to walk. Everything is fine now and we don't have the impulse purchases.

you offered him a reward and he now has it

Sorry, but I don't think you have really helped reduce his anxiety about visiting the doctor.

I'm not saying you've done anything wrong in regards to buying the toys but I would be wary of accidentally reinforcing the idea that visiting the GP is something awful to be endured in return for a material reward rather than just a normal part of life. Perhaps try sweets or stickers in the future?

My adult DSS has suffered very serious anxiety (bordering on phobic) with medics (doctor/dentist/optician). Luckily his partner is a doctor and he's recently had to work inside a hospital (office based) so both these things have helped him enormously.

Yanbu

I would have done the same. It was a treat that meant a lot to him and it needed to be right.

I remember that feeling from childhood too.