AIBU to hand over a bag of dirty washing to the ex when he picks up his children?

[UterusUterusGhali]

STBExH is picking up the boys tonight. I am drowning under laundry as my tumblie broke a while ago and now my heating is on the blink.

Ex only ever does fun stuff with them. He's missed two dentists appointments and countless other things.

I am ill at the mo. ExH has not helped at all with the boys.

WINU to hand him an ikea bag of the boy's dirty clothes?

He lives with his mother who does everything for him.

YANBU. He is a prick if he won't agree to this under these circumstances. Especially if he can get his mummy to do it for him.

My ex would say yes of course, but i doubt he wold actually remember to do it, i would never see the clothes again. When the kids were younger i had to regularly go to his to retrieve clothes left there.

In short, is it worth the aggravation for the amount of benefit that you'd get?

Yeah, it really depends on your relationship with him. In an ideal world it would be lovely to hand over a dirty bag of washing and get everything back clean and ironed but if he's generally unreliable, and likely to use it against you then it's not worth asking.

Sometimes exP picks DS from football practice on a Saturday and has him overnight. The muddy kit gets sent back on a Sunday night with DS. Not worth a row about.

Ask his mum to do it?
Why?

dont see why you cant ask , bet they come home with dirty laundry so no different , just dont put your stuff in the bag then he cant moan if its for his kids .

It's making me angry thinking of all these arsehole men who won't do these things for their children. DH would never have minded doing this sort of thing for his ex, and neither would I.

He would be VVU not to do it, but it depends on your relationship and whether you think he will actually do it, or if it's just a waste of time asking him.

I hope you get everything fixed soon and feel better soon too.

Ask his mum? Wtf?

OP, isn't it a shame that he doesn't even think of the laundry? Does he keep clothes for the DCs at his, that he washes?

Sorry had to go out.

At the mo I'm not coping with the laundry. I'm in a lot of pain and it's as much as I can do to get the kids to school.

I wouldn't ask his smother. But he will just expect her to do it.

Our relationship is terrible at the mo. Not least because he lets them down and puts his own needs first. (Hence the missed dentist apps. The first one I booked in the holidays fell on his day. He took them to the cinema instead.)

I just think he should see what bringing up kids entails.

He keeps pjs at his. I think some clothes as he said they looked scruffy. (!)

wtf at asking his mother ffs. Yes ask him but be prepared for him to laugh and say no.

I'm sorry you're ill.
Can you manage to get to a laundrette and afford a service wash? Or have you a friend/relative who can help? I have helped out friends with appliance trouble before now.
I can't think of many separated couples who would do this for each other-you wash whatever happens on your watch.
The missing dentist app is awful, but I don't think conflating that with laundry will help.
Are you happy with the custody arrangements?
Do you need/have you things legally formalized?

I suggested asking his mum since the op said he does everything anyway. So rather than him dumping it on her if they had a relationship she might be able to text and explain the situation rather than be painted out to be the bad one.
Of course he should do it, but I was trying to be realistic

Oops his mum does everything for him.
Not he, we wouldn't be having this if he did everything

Perfectly reasonable but I would call your exMIL and ask her since it appears to be her machine, electricity, detergent and time that you will be encroaching upon.

I would ask him and his mum before he comes to collect the dcs.

YANBU to get him to do something practical for his kids......... but we don't have a tumble or central heating either and I manage to not send the kids out in dirty and/or wet clothes.