Short history is-
Dh sees dc from previous marriage at pil house once every weekday evening for tea.
Exw re married. Dc 20, 17, 15.
Dc used to visit us at wkend but this is now rare, except special occasion.
Dh & I have children that are not included in this weekday tea, mil has made it clear several times over the years we are not invited, "it's better if dc see their dad to themselves". She will also make remarks like "its too much" "I can't cope".
My dc are younger, oldest 13 youngest 6 months.
This is some of what irritates me:(
Dh & mil make arrangements to the total exclusion of me and our dc together.
Mil makes no effort to visit or have relationship with our dc. She always sends bday & Xmas gift.
I feel like I'm excluded from my dh life and he doesn't see a problem. Only every mentions the evening if I ask and changes the day without saying anything to me.
Please give advise, I'm so frustrated and angry, but no idea if actually this arrangement is normal.
AIBU ?