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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you are in a busy pub/cafe, once you've finished your drink, you leave?

99 replies

angelos02 · 13/02/2014 10:36

I was in a pub last night with DH, got our drinks and looked for a table. I spotted a couple of women at a table with empty glasses so assumed they'd either be about to leave or get another drink but they did neither. Half an hour later, we were still stood (along with lots of other people unable to get a seat). Their glasses had been cleared by this point. If there had been plenty of seats I wouldn't have even noticed. I wouldn't have the brass neck to do this myself. AIBU?

OP posts:
Southeastdweller · 13/02/2014 12:00

I rarely go to pubs but agree with the others that this question isn’t relevant to pubs as standing is part of that scene if there’s no seats, and some people prefer this anyway (like whitepudding I find it annoying that people stand around at a busy bar when you’re trying to get served, one reason I rarely go to pubs).

As for cafes, this is my pet hate Angry. I’m not saying that as soon as people have finished drinking they should leave but sitting there with their laptops or a book using the place as a library, young couples canoodling because they don’t have anywhere else to go, with no drinks/nursing one drink for ages? That is taking the and I see it all the time. Why oh why don’t the staff say anything? It doesn’t make business sense, does it? Fair enough if the place is quiet but when it’s busy, like most cafes these days, I think it’s selfish to hog the table and seat.

Original poster
angelos02 · 13/02/2014 12:01

It is bad for the pub to allow this to happen. They are losing paying customers for the sake of people sitting on their premises without a drink.

Also, is it OK to go into a pub, sit at a table and not buy a drink?

OP posts:
EduCated · 13/02/2014 12:02

Also with a cafe, it's quite often a pit stop so you're naturally moving on afterwards anyway. With the pub you tend to go for the evening so are likely to sit there longer anyway.

What happens if you're doing shots? Grin Are you allowed to sit there for precisely 10 seconds? It's not at all unusual to sit for a while between drinks, I'd be plastered if I constantly had a drink in front of me in the pub. Are you supposed to rotate, so you sit while they go to the bar, then swap when you've finished an they're back?!

CaptainGrinch · 13/02/2014 12:02

They may have finished their third bottle of Dom Perignon, or they may come in every night.

Either way, the proprietor may decide that they'd rather keep them & lose you & your 2 halves of lager every month.....

I'd have stayed at the table too, if only to watch you go get more & more annoyed....

Original poster
angelos02 · 13/02/2014 12:06

Lager? I don't think so...I'm a ladeeey!

OP posts:
dawntigga · 13/02/2014 12:17

It's a Harley Davidson threat.

AIBU?

YABU!

But, but, but, but....

Don'tAskIfYouDon'tWantPeopleToDisagreeWithYouTiggaxx

Original poster
angelos02 · 13/02/2014 12:19

I haven't changed my opinion. Didn't really intend to. Just wanted to hear other people's thoughts on this.

OP posts:
Oblomov · 13/02/2014 12:20

Southeast, it depends what kind of cafe you are in.
I think the ethos and atmosphere of cafés has changed.
Many, you can order a coffee and sit there for hours , with free wifi, twittering, or whatever those people do.

It's up to the proprietor how long he allies customers to sit at a table. It's only the proprietor it effects , pence per minute, re what each customer spends.
That is none of op's business.

PrebendsBridge · 13/02/2014 12:22

YABU - Pubs are different to cafés where it might be a bit rude to linger at lunch when it's busy and there are people waiting for tables. You can't really stand around eating/drinking in a cafe - the floor plan generally doesn't allow it. Pubs on the other hand are well set up for standing drinkers, lots of free floor space/waist height shelving for drinks etc.

Save the hovering for lunch-time in the museum cafe, when Hugo and Genevieve are making dinosaur figurines, oblivious to the queues of people waiting for a table! Wink

Oblomov · 13/02/2014 12:25

I sooooooo love these threads.
OP: AIBU?
Nigh on 100 % consensus : YES. YABU.
OP: I'm not listening .... Traah-la-laaar.

All other posters: and the point of this, IS ????? Wink

Southeastdweller · 13/02/2014 12:26

Taking the piss I meant to say.

Oblomov Of course it's up to the owner, but he or she's still losing money, aren't they, if the area is busy? I wonder if less reticent cultures than here in the U.K, if cafe owners are more vocal about this sort of thing.

Oblomov · 13/02/2014 12:30

Southeast, yes owner is losing money. Why I can't understand why this wifi cafe thing has caught on.
But it sure has.
Mind you lots of places don't utilise their space of time properly , do they?

BrianButterfield · 13/02/2014 12:35

I suspect it doesn't actually lose money because in my experience, custom breeds custom. The fuller a place is, the more it makes people think it's the place to be! So even if people are 'taking up tables' it helps the place feel lively and popular, and as new customers can stand, it doesn't pose that much of a problem.

MrsOakenshield · 13/02/2014 12:36

gosh, I'm surprised so many people have said YABU, I don't agree at all. Common courtesy would say to me, and I'm pretty sure most people I know, that if we've finished our drink, we either get another or leave - especially if it is busy and people are standing around. I would actually have been embarrassed to be either of those women. The seats are for patrons, are they not - I mean, you can only sit at them if you are consuming the food and drink provided by the pub - so if you've finished, buy another or leave.

Of course, if the pub was half empty the situation would be completely different. But it wasn't.

I don't think there's anything you can do about it though, judging by this thread most people in the world are inconsiderate, and happy to be so.

Made me a bit sad - I though MNers were in generally a more considerate bunch, but clearly not.

RufusTheReindeer · 13/02/2014 12:38

YABU

Would type something else but I think that would be a waste of time (plus it would take me hours!!!)

RufusTheReindeer · 13/02/2014 12:43

Sod it!

I don't think it's bad mannered because they may have been finishing their chat and planning on another drink

What you are saying (or seem to be ) is that once I have finished my drink I need to vacate my seat, I may want another drink and because I don't want to be permanently in the loo or falling over drunk I may well leave it half an hour. Then would you give me my seat back?

I don't think half an hour is unreasonable

How many times have you met in a cafe or pub and said I must leave at 11, you finish your drink at 10.30 and some people believe that you shouldn't finish your conversation you need to vacate straight away

Perhaps you would like to tell me how long is reasonable, 10 mins? 15? Can I forget the time because I am enjoying myself with my friend, or do I need to set a timer?

RufusTheReindeer · 13/02/2014 12:46

And for what it's worth I do think that if a cafe is busy with people queuing that you should be a bit sensitive to others (especially as it's hard to balance a hot cup of tea while leaning up on the counter

But in a pub!!!!!!!

MrsOakenshield · 13/02/2014 12:51

half an hour is very unreasonable to sit in a busy pub without a drink - I think I've given it maybe 10 minutes max and then we'll say 'are we getting another,otherwise we should head off'. I think at that point you have ceased to be a patron and therefore have no right to occupy a seat.

Nothing to do with setting a timer, just being aware that you are in a public place that you haven't bought the exclusive use of.

RedFocus · 13/02/2014 13:00

Hmmm a coffee in a pub, how bloody dare they ! Hmm
If I'm driving I'll have a coffee and sit there for as long as I like!
What a grump you are op!

Original poster
angelos02 · 13/02/2014 13:03

I ain't no grump. I just don't live my life in a bubble, oblivious to what is going on around me.

OP posts:
Southeastdweller · 13/02/2014 13:07

Brian Take your point but it's different in cafes.

EduCated · 13/02/2014 13:11

If were going to a pub, my DM will fret about getting a table,w hat will we do if there's no tables, everyone has to split up into search parties to go and stalk out an empty table, or people who look like they might be about to finish, ooh they look like they might be about to go, you stand here, I'll go and stand by that table blah blah blah.

I HATE it. It is so rude! There is nothing wrong with standing with a drink. Just let people finish their drinks and move in their own good time. If you want to guarantee a seat, go somewhere quieter, get there earlier, or just stay on the settee.

pebble075 · 13/02/2014 13:19

Did standing impair you from drinking or socialising? Afaik it is possible to stand on feet, talk and sip a drink!

Viviennemary · 13/02/2014 13:22

I think it is cheeky for people to sit for hours after they have finished. They should be chucked out or barred.

HelloBoys · 13/02/2014 13:51

what winds me up beyond belief (going to get flamed now) is especially at lunch time I can see people there on their laptops who may have been there HOURS!

I went to have lunch the other day in Pret a man was sitting hogging a table with his laptop, Pret was packed solid and there was no where else to sit. I asked him if he minded if I sat there and he ummed and aahed went a bit cat's bum mouth then said "ok". He must have been there hours.

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