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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so infuriated by this...

69 replies

TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 09:36

Background: I'm white and my bosses are white. I'm late 20s one is early 40s the other is 50 something.

I have been told off today for using the term 'black' (we were talking about political correctness and labelling a SAHM and how for decades it was housewife, he said why would it change... I said things do eg coloured is now black)

Anyway, they went mad saying you can't use language like that, that's unacceptable. I know they are of a different age and they have been bought up using 'coloured' but I have always been told 'black' is correct. This sparked a twenty minute debate with my boss getting angrier and angrier saying his best mate would hate me. He's coloured and nothing else. I resorted to google blah blah blah.

Now I'm being branded racist because I use a word my generation has deemed appropriate! Grrrrr Confused

OP posts:
Greenrememberedhills · 13/02/2014 11:05

Black in correct. I am 53 and knew that when you were in your pram.

ZingSweetApple · 13/02/2014 11:18

Thanks for explanations - I'm not English and in Hungary we say "coloured-skinned" but it is not considered racist any more than saying "olive-skinned" for Mediterranean people and nor does "neger" which means negro which again simply derives from negro meaning black and nobody thinks it's racist, including black people who are Hungarians.

so I'm just baffled by this all.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:19

Piscivorus. I agree. Race is important as it's who you are and where you came from. It needs to be remembered and valued.

However, I was always taught... We are one. The black lady over there is the same as you and the Indian lady. The human race not a separate one for each colour. In an ideal world people wouldn't even worry about offensive words because it's a given that everyone means no harm.

OP posts:
ZingSweetApple · 13/02/2014 11:24

Evees

damn right.
and genealogy proves that all of our ancestors were black, coming from Africa.

did anyone see the two part "documentary" about Eddie Izzard tracing back where his mum and dad's ancestral lines originated from? it was fascinating and eye-opening!

DanceParty · 13/02/2014 11:30

Black friends always say that they can tell someone is racist when they say 'coloured'.

They are wrong! They might be able to tell someone's age, but just because older people use the word ' coloured' does NOT make them racist.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:34

No but I will give that a google tonight as I love that sort of thing.

I only recently found out why we evolved to have white skin if black skin is clearly an advantage against the sun and diseases. Apparently white skin absorbs vitamin d better for if u were in a mountain. I find it all incredibly interesting. I'm pale as pale can be Hmm I am the odd one out in my family. Everyone else (apart from my equally pale uncle) has beautiful olive skin as my gran is of Jewish heritage and my grandad Maori. Everyone including my uncle is also a giant. I think I'm adopted Wink

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 13/02/2014 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:38

Never knew there was no box. I find that crazy. When I was at UNi I read that 1 in 2 black kids under 16 has a black parent, that's how they phrased it. I find that great so would have thought there'd be a box.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:40

I think my friend 'likes' half cast because that is what she was told she was her whole life and that description has become who she is. Her identity does not change with the dictionary.

Or something like that... Grin

OP posts:
hoboken · 13/02/2014 11:45

Evers, you are right but please quit the ageism sigh

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:49

Ha sorry. I don't mean to cause offence or be ageist. It's not funny either but I'm not one ist, I'm another! Wink

Stopped! For you Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 11:52

I could say in my experience that older people have whatever view but that's no less of a stereotype than x race do this or that. Stereotypes are not right. Sorry again

OP posts:
titchy · 13/02/2014 11:54

Has he never filled in a form with tick boxes for ethnicity? Or are all organisations that use those forms (including the Government) racist too?

ajandjjmum · 13/02/2014 12:05

I am 54 and always used 'coloured' as being more polite than 'black' as a child. Obviously things changed many years ago, however, my childhood friends - Jane, Julie and Steve - referred to themselves as half caste when we were children.

It's like DS who was born with a cleft lip and palate. I obviously don't like the term harelip, but I know that people are not saying it maliciously to me (normally!), it's just how times have changed, and I'll try to mention in my response 'cleft', so that maybe they'll learn for next time.

Impatientismymiddlename · 13/02/2014 12:11

I think my friend 'likes' half cast because that is what she was told she was her whole life and that description has become who she is.

A few decades ago it was a commonly used term, but I think those who continue to use the term to describe themselves are not educated about what the term really means and why it is offensive. Just because you have been told you are something your whole life it doesn't mean that you have to accept that term or that the description is what you have become. I suggest your friend does a little research about the origins of the term 'half caste' and then considers whether she is happy to be referred by that term rather than just accepting it because she has always done so.

Impatientismymiddlename · 13/02/2014 12:15

Half-caste is a term used to describe people of mixed race or ethnicity. Caste comes from the Latin castus, meaning pure, and the derivative Portuguese and Spanish casta, meaning race. The term originates from the Indian caste system, where a person of ‘lesser’ or half-caste would be deemed to be of a ‘lower class’. While the origins of the term are derogatory, its usage has evolved to give it the more objective meaning described above.

I have taken that brief explanation from the website of mixed race studies.
I fail to see how anybody would be happy knowing that the term used to describe their ethnicity is another way of saying inferior. I certainly wouldn't accept it and would challenge anybody who uses that term.

hirple · 13/02/2014 12:17

I think everyone needs to calm down, I don't think it matters, there is no universally accepted "correct" way to refere to anyone. It is quite patronising to think there would be, people who are different from you are not an homogeous group. I am Brown: Black-ish father, some White there too, and a White mother. I don't care how I am described as long as people are pleasant about it.

We can go around in circles debating semantics that don't matter a jot. Just treat everybody with respect and you can;t go far wrong.

I do refer tp myself as a darkie sometimes - mainly to annoy Guardian readers! Chill whitey!

jennifleurs · 13/02/2014 12:20

Makes me cringe when people around my age (30) use the term 'coloured'.

It's not acceptable. 'Black' is.

Impatientismymiddlename · 13/02/2014 12:28

Hirple - it might not bother you, but other people are entitled to be bothered. Would I be happy to be called half pure (half caste) rather than mixed race? No I would not, because I am a whole person and am not inferior. Words used to describe people are important.

I wouldn't call somebody a big fat blobba jobba if they were overweight.
I wouldn't call somebody anorexic if they were very slim.
I wouldn't call somebody a carrot top if they had ginger hair.
Some terms are offensive to some people and we live in the year 2014 where people should realise that terms historically used to describe somebody as inferior because of their ethnicity are no longer acceptable.

hirple · 13/02/2014 12:40

Of course they are - Impatientismymiddlename - what gets me is bleeding heart liberals being instantly offended on behalf of others who may not mind. I stand by what I said, intent should surely be a factor, the OP should have surely been given the benefit of the doubt at least.

If someone speaks to me in a way I don't ike, then I have the right to be offended, they also have the right to free speech.

JingleMyBells · 13/02/2014 13:10

Don't worry OP, I'm only 30 but had no idea until about a year ago that "half caste" is no longer PC. Funny how 9/10 whenever you use these supposed racist terms the person doesn't seem to care.

Impatientismymiddlename · 13/02/2014 13:16

Funny how 9/10 whenever you use these supposed racist terms the person doesn't seem to care.

Doesn't seem to care? How do you know that?
If they say nothing and show little reaction it could be that they just think you are an ignorant fool and they can't be assed to correct you. BTW people do know when something is intentionally racist as opposed to just ignorance and not knowing any better, but the latter doesn't mean the described person doesn't care.

Original poster
TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 13:38

I'd just like to add one of my bosses is actually great. The other is an absolute twit. Just incase haha

OP posts:
SouthernComforts · 13/02/2014 13:48

Every mixed race person I know well refers to themselves as half-cast. We are in our 20's. Maybe it's a regional thing.

I'm with you on black being more PC than coloured.

ladyquinoa · 13/02/2014 13:58

My dad used the word coloured recently and I corrected him. I was shocked he was so behind the times