To think you can't just bury yourself in anyones grave.

[appletarts]

Bizarre I know. My mother in law has bought the plot (grave) above my father in law for when she goes. Father in law dies a couple of years ago and was very muddled towards the end. She has never asked his permission to bury herself on top of him and he had never expressed this as a wish. The worst part is yet to come - They are divorced!! She divorced him 30 years ago and since then they shared the odd (yes defo) family holiday and maintained sporadic contact. In the end he had nobody else to look after him so she did until he went into a home. I suppose they sort of got back together towards the end. The thing is she told me she can bury herself in there as she is family but she's not is she? she's his exwife. The other thing which gnarls at us all is that she drove him mental when he was alive and he'd often say she was controlling and he wanted her to bugger off, although there was a sort of dysfunctional love there. So what are the thoughts on this? Can she really just do that? (I imagine him swearing his head off down there saying he can't get any peace from her even when he's 6ft under and he'd be right!)

It's her plot. It's a piece of property. You even get a deed when you buy it. She can do as she pleases. Wherever your FIL is, he is well past caring.

My grandmother was buried on top of my grandfather. They died 30 years apart but his grave was dug extra deep to allow her to go on top but it is something that has to be allowed for when the first grave is dug. Pretty horrible, actually, watching her coffin being laid on top of one that had been uncovered after 30 years and was crumbling.

But they had both planned for that....

You can't bury yourself in anyone's grave, but that's not what she's doing. She's planning on being buried in a family grave which she owns. So YABU.

My grandad bought a family plot. He's buried there, my nan (his ex wife of 30 years) is buried there and so are 2 of their children. There's space left for the rest of their children if they want it. My nan's second husband is buried with his mum, dad and brother.

Laughing at witch

OP honestly they wont have a clue. It really doesn't matter who is buried where.

I think from my own experience, anything is possible!!!

My Auntie's husband died.
He got buried on top of his ex wife, who was buried on top of her first ex husband.
Then my Auntie died and asked for her ashes to be scattered on top of them all!
I could only LOL at the weirdness...

Did she pay for the plot that he is in?

If she looked after him at the end and they were sort of back together, and she paid for his funeral or at least the plot he's buried in, then there's probably not a lot you can do about it (should you want to) and it might make financial sense to her. Why buy another plot if she owns that one already?

It's not like she's picked a random stranger, or an ex she hasn't seen for years and years, which would be strange.

He won't know or care and it might be easier for you all as a family to visit the same grave for them both, from a practical point of view.

I know it must seem odd but at least you (hopefully) have years to get used to the idea.