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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think when there are storm warnings and torrential rain the school should ease off on the uniform?!

67 replies

GraduallyGoingInsane · 12/02/2014 18:42

I'm a huge fan of uniform, really I am. I have 4 DDs and there is no doubt that it saves me from endless morning battles. I'm the first to say that rules should be kept and come down on my DDs.

However, when it is pouring with rain, there is howling wind and the local news is awash (pun intended!) with storm warnings, I am not impressed with a detention note for my DD wearing a coat. Personally I think I should get a medal for convincing a teenager to wear a coat!

The rules are it must be navy, have sleeves and be free from logos. We bought the official coat in year 7 and it remained unworn so we haven't replaced it. After much nagging she took her barbour coat, no obvious logos, but it's dark green. She doesn't have a navy coat. She has a navy gilet but the school are really hot on them not wearing those, and in fact one of the 'strikes' leading to the detention was from wearing that.

The school policy is 3 'marks' in one term equals detention, so I am also angry with DD3 as one mark was entirely her own fault (rolling up her school skirt). 2 were for wearing coats in grim weather though, and that irks me.

I'm also irritated that the school is clearly inconsistent. DD1 took her ski coat which is grey with lime green checks on! No uniform mark for her though! DD3 said that her form tutor had indicated it was a school-wide clamp down on coats but this clearly wasn't the case.

I totally accept clamping down on scruffy shirts, short skirts and makeup. I will back the school to the end with that. But a clamp down on coats on a stormy day? I'm angry.

I am frustrated that my 13 year old is now saying she will just wear her blazer tomorrow as she doesn't want to get in more trouble. We will rectify the lack of navy coat this weekend, but in the short term she is going to be soaked.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 12/02/2014 19:15

Three strikes equals three chances. She hasn't been caught once and given a detention.
You can't blame the school. They have a rule. It was broken. There is a consequence.

IamInvisible · 12/02/2014 19:17

Why would you buy one coat for school and one for home?

Because when there are regulation school coats, not many teenagers want to wear them at the weekend. It is much better, IMO, to be a bit more flexible and say "a dark coloured coat without logos". Not only that, you don't get youngsters given detentions for having a dark green coat instead of a navy one.

Original poster
GraduallyGoingInsane · 12/02/2014 19:23

She never wore the navy one in Year 7 because it 'wasn't cool'. The green coat was intended as a coat for school in poor weather, normally she just wears her blazer. It has to be pretty miserable to wear a coat at 13!

I'm annoyed because in the past the green would have been ok. DD1 had a black coat for a substantial part of lower school and nothing was said. The uniform guidelines have always said navy, but it was an unwritten rule that dark coats were ok up until now.

I should have got a navy one, and will do so this weekend. The problem is that the rules as written take one very strict line, but in reality they are different. DD2 got horribly teased for turning up in white socks in the summer term when everyone else wore black/navy. The rules say white. No one has ever policed it. Technically, school bags are to be navy or black. In reality it seems anything goes. Skirts are supposed to touch the lower knee, but I can't remember the last time I saw someone with a knee length skirt.

My gripe is that the school should stick to the letter of the rules constantly or give warning when they are going to become more strict.

OP posts:
Joysmum · 12/02/2014 19:23

My daughters winter coat complies with the school uniform policy and she wears it in leisure time too. If she wanted another coat that would have to come out of her birthday money.

3littlefrogs · 12/02/2014 19:24

DD's school uniform coat (state school)is a hideous black thing that has no waterproof properties whatsoever. At £80 a go I am not replacing it even though it is a bit too small. She will be leaving at the end of this year. Of course the school gets a kick back from the uniform shop.
They get detention for not wearing it. So, she arrives home soaked to the skin. Why they can't just have a light weight waterproof that they can wear a couple of layers under is beyond me. At least it could dry out overnight.

Starballbunny · 12/02/2014 19:27

Coats and shoes should not count in foul weather!

Black ballet pumps when the lanes are rivers and parts of the school site are flooded are lunacy.

3littlefrogs · 12/02/2014 19:28

I should add they have to wear the regulation one, from the uniform shop. no alternatives allowed.

Starballbunny · 12/02/2014 19:31

We don't have uniform coats, they are totally ridiculous in state schools and I can't see why parents don't just refuse to buy them and refuse to support resulting detentions.

But I come from a very practical and not very well off rural area, not leafy middle England where 1/2 the schools have pretensions worthy of prep schools.

Stinklebell · 12/02/2014 19:33

DD's school uniform coat (state school)is a hideous black thing that has no waterproof properties whatsoever

Yes, my DD's official school uniform coat is the same, not waterproof in the slightest and also has a massive fuck off school logo across the back of it. Also £80 a pop.

We're also supposed to wait for them to send out a text giving permission for the kids to wear their coats which they're not allowed to wear coats within the school gates anyway.

She has a plain, black, waterproof coat which she wears instead, although she won't normally wear a coat, must have been bad today as she willingly wore one this morning

crashbangboom · 12/02/2014 19:36

Flying ducky. Do you mean me?

Most families can't extend to extra coats. £19 is a lot to some families

harticus · 12/02/2014 19:50

I absolutely agree Starballbunny - some of these schools have absurd pretensions. Never understood why the British are so obsessed with school uniform. (Whole other thread.)

We are also in a rural area. There's a school round here where children wear wellies to school and wear slippers in class. Our school has no restriction on coats, hats or shoes/boots.
The comfort and safety of the children is the priority.

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/02/2014 19:54

livelablove
"For those saying back the school up I will when they are like dds school and have a little flexibility towards these things,"

So you will only follow the rules when it suits you?

livelablove · 12/02/2014 20:44

Yes I feel that if they won't give an inch then screw them

nkf · 12/02/2014 20:47

I don't understand. She doesn't have a coat that she can wear to school? Or she does but won't wear it? Is it a school coat with a logo? What has she been wearing these last few months?

Stinklebell · 12/02/2014 20:50

So you will only follow the rules when it suits you?

Well if those rules result in my daughter being given a uniform strike for wearing sensible and appropriate footwear to school in torrential rain, when she had her correct school uniform shoes in her bag to change into, then well, they're just too stupid to take seriously

nkf · 12/02/2014 20:50

Why is it hard to get a teenager to wear a coat? I don't know of this one. It's all a mystery.

HanSolo · 12/02/2014 20:52

Why on earth did you not buy the navy barbour?
YABU- it's not as if there aren't navy coats available.

Original poster
GraduallyGoingInsane · 12/02/2014 20:57

I didn't buy the navy Barbour for DD as DD2 has that one and DD3 wanted to be different from her sister. It wasn't bought as a school coat as she has not willingly worn a coat to school since Primary. I managed to convince her to take it today after she has spent a couple of weeks returning freezing cold and wet through.

Why teenagers won't wear coats is a mystery to me, but none of mine will, and looking at their peers, they're not unusual.

Conclusion seems to be IABU, or at least too soft on my DD. We will buy a navy coat this weekend and I will impress upon her that she better not bring a uniform detention slip home again!

OP posts:
Stinklebell · 12/02/2014 21:03

Why is it hard to get a teenager to wear a coat? I don't know of this one. It's all a mystery.

I don't know, it is indeed a mystery. DD left year 6 as a perfectly reasonable human being, started secondary and all sorts of unfathomable rules appeared - including coat refusal. All her friends are the same, it doesn't seem to be considered cool until they're about 16 when common sense overrides and they realise it's cooler to wear a coat, than to look like a frozen, drowned rat

Ericaequites · 12/02/2014 21:20

When I was a teenager, I had to wear uniform school shoes. Those were the only everyday shoes I had. By the same reasoning, OP's daughters should have washable coats that meet uniform standards.

Picturesinthefirelight · 12/02/2014 21:28

It's ridiculous

Dd will be going to school without half her textbooks & in some borrowed clothes as it was too dangerous to attempt to travel gone tonight do she's stayed over with a friend

It won't be a problem.

MisForMumNotMaid · 12/02/2014 21:35

Could she get away with/ would it be acceptable to have a navy pac a mac? Either in her bag for rain emergencies or over her non regulation coat to make it regulation?

Mrscupcake23 · 12/02/2014 21:37

Think the school are being completely over the top . Can't you write a letter and say you will buy one at the weekend?

mrsjay · 12/02/2014 22:01

MY dd got a parental note not a detention but still for wearing her walking boots in the snow and ice last year she forgot to take her shoes with her or she just didnt put it them in her bag more like Hmm anyway not all children get lifts to school and sometimes in extreme conditions needs must, I am a stickler for uniform I think in this weather the school have been ott, yes i know rules are rules but,,,

mrsjay · 12/02/2014 22:02

oh my dd is uncool she will wear a coat Grin