AIBU to give DP these smoking rules?

[TheScience]

We have a 3yo and I am expecting DC2 in the next couple of weeks.

DP is a smoker, I am not (obviously!).

WIBU to insist he only "smokes" an e-cig during the day while the DC are awake - but can smoke his horrible roll-ups outside after bedtime?

I'm a smoker and I think your requests are fair enough.

But as NoMama says, it needs to be put to him with empathy, not shaming or blackmail. Because those never, ever stopped anyone from smoking. They're more likely to drive even the most well-intentioned back to the fags.

Can I ask if you take your children to barbecues? Or if you wash your hands and clothes before going near your kids after a barbecue, because the toxins in smoke from those is allegedly as carcinogenic as tobacco smoke..

They don't tend to go to barbecues several times a day all year round, no. And probably not when newborn in February either.

You can suggest it, but you can't demand it. Maybe he could wear a smoking coat for outside, wash his hands and brush his teeth.

So you won't be driving with them in the car, nor walking along the road with a pushchair?

God, why can't we just have a 'Smoking Topic' and be done with it instead of ALL these threads ALL the time!! Same old, same old.

Are you really arguing that as there are some hazards we can't control, it isn't worth trying to reduce any risks for babies/young children?

These anti-smoking threads never end well.

Just accept that you smoked when you met your DP, now you have DC you've changed the rules. He doesn't want to change the rules.

YAU to 'make' him have rules anyway. Try asking, cajoling, using your wiles, appealing to his better nature. But give a smoker rules, and you are asking for trouble. That's all I'm saying.

I think yabu. You chose to conceive children with him knowing he as a smoker and with the opinion that he's unlikely to give up.

You have no right to insist he smokes only e cigs during that day, you are his wife, not his puppet master. You sound quite controlling in your OP.

You do have every right to keep yourself and your children away from him while he's still stinky though. Get him to wear a specific top that's just for smoking in that gets taken off after he's finished, and ask him to wash his hands etc. those things would be reasonable requests, asking a smoker not to smoke all day when they are at home is not reasonable.