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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu unreasonable to be bloody fumming

14 replies

mummywithsmiles · 10/02/2014 16:40

So after my last thread about my daughter being discharged from neonatal after 5 weeks , ( she was critically I'll ) .... Well it all backfired and not only are we still there were bk in intensive care in a full incubator and back on ventilation.

So her dad walked out 3 weeks ago and left to go up north and I haven't seen him since but spoke on phone... Any way he came down for a whole 2 days , yesterday n today to see her. Neonatal banned me for 72 hours due to coughing and sneezing.
I rang him today and basically he has only spent 2 hours up there a day since being here and is leaving tonight

Am I wrong to be fuming that for the 2 play days he was here and I was sick he should have taken my place and sat there with her like I do every day ?

OP posts:
pinkbear82 · 10/02/2014 16:44

Mummy I haven't seen your other thread. It sounds like you are going through hell, and not a surprise you aren't well yourself.

Few men see things the way we do, but no, I don't think it would have been unreasonable for you to expect him to want to spend time with dd and make sure he was there for her when you couldn't be.

Please look after yourself during all this. Your dd will know the love she has from you and needs you to be well for her. Eat, sleep and drink when you can.

Sending love and positive thoughts

Original poster
mummywithsmiles · 10/02/2014 16:51

Thank you, I'm just so passed it all

Gave birth 5 weeks ago matter a herrendous pregnancy, nearly lost daughter and she's still fighting ( a 15 percent chance of survival )
He then walks out and leaves me breaking up with me etc and goes bk up north to what is our flat , I'm down south because of hospitals and now moved bk in with my mum.
His not paid a penny but bought himself and motorbike and rang me from the pub for an update on more than one occasion..... And now daughter has had a turn for s worse and I were back to square one.

OP posts:
Livingtothefull · 10/02/2014 17:39

I am so sorry you are going through this. I so hope that your DD pulls through. This is a hard hard time for you especially as you are having to face it effectively alone, all you can do is take it one day at a time. Yes and try to take care of yourself

Yes it is reasonable to be angry and upset that your DD father is not there for her as you are entitled to expect, and as you are. I hope that you are getting support from family/friends

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear little DD.

formerbabe · 10/02/2014 17:44

Of course yanbu...he sounds like a right charmer!

What an awful situation for you...wish your dd and you all the best. Look after yourself x

pinkbear82 · 10/02/2014 18:16

He sounds like a royal knob. I'm sorry he isn't there for your daughter, as a father he should be, no matter what else is going on.

I hope your little fighter keeps fighting and that you get to enjoy being her mummy soon. They are tough beans, and with your love and support I hope it makes all the difference.

You and your dd are the most important things now. Keep strong. Thanks

DoJo · 10/02/2014 18:17

YANBU but try not to waste any time, energy or headspace on him when you have so much else going on. He may come to regret the way he is behaving. but you are doing everything you can, and need to focus on yourself and your baby. Very best wishes to both of you.

Funnyfoot · 10/02/2014 18:23

YANBU.
I would now put him to one side and concentrate all our efforts on you and your precious daughter.
If he rings for updates tell him to come and see for himself. You do not need a waste of space like him in your life and neither does your daughter.
Take care

Loopylouu · 10/02/2014 19:05

Good god, what an arsehole.

Best wishes to your little daughter, I hope she pulls through and all is well. Ds was in icu at birth, I know the pain, heartache and worry and it's pathetically sad her father is acting this way.

VikingLady · 10/02/2014 20:16

I'm so sorry you are going through all this, and as effectively a single parent. I hope your family as supportive though.

How does it go? Oh yes. I'd call him a cunt,, but he lacks the warmth and depth.

phantomnamechanger · 10/02/2014 20:22

OMG you poor thing. I hope your daughter pulls through. that sad excuse for a man has shown his true colours - you are definitely better off without him than putting up with years of crap

bodygoingsouth · 10/02/2014 20:24

it's you and your dd love. he's a massive twat. don't even give him a thought.

Original poster
mummywithsmiles · 10/02/2014 20:30

Thank you and sorry for ranging ... Im just exhausted

OP posts:
PerpendicularVince · 10/02/2014 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleen · 10/02/2014 21:39

He's being an idiot, and is not even worth the energy of your anger. Please try to find support here, with family and with your friends, as he will not give you any. Best wishes for you and your daughter Thanks

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