To wonder why it is deemed acceptable to call a diagnosis "labelling"?

[JakeBullet]

This is about a post in another thread (not a thread about a thread) where a poster wrote...

"I also believe that very few children have actual SN and think there's far too much labelling, and some children are just little shits".

As the parent of child who has been "labelled" (with autism, dyspraixa, dyslexia and ADHD) I find this all too prevalent attitude appalling.

My child is not "labelled", he has complex difficulties and challenges which he has to cope with every single day of his life. Just because they are not immediately visible does not mean they are not there.

His difficulties are not made any easier by those who doubt these diagnoses....from relatives to other parents to strangers in the street. None of whom have any medical training you understand....they just "know" it is "labelling" and that these conditions "don't really exist"

"ADHD means naughty child" (for example) just as "dyslexia" means "can't read", autism means "can't talk" and dyspraxia (if they have ever heard of it means "a bit clumsy".

My DS is thriving, he is thriving because in school they DO believe in his diagnoses and they support him.

He is thriving because a paediatrician prescribed medication when he was 8 years old because she was concerned he was not achieving his potential. Three months after starting medication he could finally read.

He is thriving because I meet his needs for sensory issues and support him.

He is thriving because there are still thankfully many who DON'T believe all the crap they read about children being "labelled" and DO understand.

For those of you who DON'T get this ....shame on you. You have much still to learn. Perhaps start with the National Autistic Society and then move outwards to the surrounding conditions.

Ouryve my mil as you know has a chronic case of that

The issue imo is when people (either parents or other childrens parents) "label" a difficult child as having ADHD, just because they are difficult. I've heard it so many times, "oh, he probably have ADHD because he's so badly behaved" - when actually it was due to major issues in his home and not due to a diagnosis. I just don't think that is fair on the child wrongfully "labelled" by people who are not in any way qualified, and also disrespectful to anyone who has a genuine diagnosis of ADHD or any other SN.

My MIL believed until last week that my other half is dyslexic because he didn't do well in school. I actually thought he was joking when he said it, but then I heard it from her and so realised she actually believed it. He is not dyslexic at all - he just didn't get on with school, because of many other reasons, none of which includes a SN or dyslexia. I told her very clearly that she was wrong and I hope she got the message.

I think some professionals gets "overexcited" about diagnosing things that can be just random - however it's also important to take it seriously and help those who need it. It's not up to onlookers to judge whether a diagnosis is correct or not, and it's not labelling unless it comes from people who are not qualified imo. If your child has a diagnosis, they are not labelled. If your child are believed to have a diagnosis by other parents for example, then that is labelling, which is wrong on so many levels.

My FIL does not believe in ADHD despite the fact his only grandchild has it.

I have seen children from difficult and chaotic homes diagnosed with ADHD. In some of those cases they have ADHD....and the poor parenting or homelife makes the symptoms worse. In fewer cases these children are showing signs of post traumatic stress disorder due to violence or other traunatic events they have witnessed. In some cases of course you will have a child who has been parented poorly, has no boundaries, gets inadequate sleep and wjo shows all signs of ADHD as a result.

Of course it isn't only ADHD, my FIL's experience of autism is zero. ....none of that about when he was at his private boarding school. To a certain extent he accepts this diagnosis but it doesn't stop him making occasional comments about DS'S inability to cope with some situations. Of course the inference is that I am responsible for these issues as I am his mother and obviously have not taught him to cope.

yanbu to be annoyed at those who know little and complain about labels

but there are many professionals who are questioning and have been for some time how many children are diagnosed and how many children are taking drugs for their diagnosis

the arguemtns is there such a thing a ADHD are gaining more support with research in time it may be broken down into another diagnosis or take on other forms of treatments

our understanding will change very much in the next 20 years, and then the next 20 years and so on

yes i know there are many other disabilities than ADHD

i am not saying it is what i beleive, maybe the diagnosis will change over time as we gain a greater understanding but it is not just psychologists who are questioning the diagnosis of why so many children have been diagnosed (and of course the use of drugs which has increased)

Probably the best solution would be to laminate copies of our children's diagnoses into labelsthat we can pin onto them.
oops they tried that when whores and thieves wore labels too a few centuries ago.
An oldie-ishster here who shied from labels but had to finally accept that it is the way it is, at least for now.

Really constructi've and interesting discussion, thank you. Mrs dv, flowers indeed.

A medical diagnosis is usually just that: an indicator of difficulties and needs.

The pooh-poohing attitude towards "labelling" reminds me of some of the ridiculous re-wording trends of the 1990s, like "differently-abled". Presumably kids in wheelchairs couldn't walk upstairs, but might perhaps be able to fly up them?

Oh god, I hate this debate. Some people on both sides are right.

A diagnosis at an early age can be a crushing thing: it can lead to a lifetime of 'but I have problem x so I can't do x so I won't try to get better at x'. On the other hand, a diagnosis can be an empowering thing: 'I never realised problem x was the problem. Now I know what to do to make my life more manageable, and what specific support is available'.

People who say 'ADHD? Just kick 'em in the balls and give 'em a cold bath!' can, nonetheless, bugger off.

Labelling can become negative when a person is seen only as their diagnosis. I have seen this first hand. All behaviour is explained as due to the diagnosis, and the person's own personality and desires are almost ignored as having any impact.

Yes. That's why person-first language can be so important (if the person finds it helpful) and it's really not about being PC. I am not my disabilities/SEN, I am a person with those conditions.

It's also worth pointing out that many adults (especially women) with AS, ADHD, OCD etc are not diagnosed until well into adulthood. This particularly effects women as they are under-diagnosed.

My DS is thriving, he is thriving because in school they DO believe in his diagnoses and they support him.

jammy sod.

school believe too... just phase out anything that requires extra work for them.

oh and you are yanbu but are lucky to haave a supportive school if not supportive relatives

surely the most important factor in whether a diagnosis is allowed to crush a child or not is the attitude of the parent?

after all, a diagnosis is confidential, it's not something that is branded into your forehead, it is something the child is told about and the school is told about by the parent and it is up to the parent to provide the slant on that narrative

if the disability in itself is bad enough to crush the child, then that would have happened with or without a diagnosis

later on in life it is the choice of the disabled person to disclose a disability or not

as a university tutor I get told about a student's ADHD/dyslexia/physical disabilities/MH issues as and when the student chooses and it is the student who explains how they are affected (and therefore decides whether to portray it as a crushing thing or not)

I don't have an automatic right to know

that information is confidential- fellow students will not be told

if they notice anyway- then they'd have noticed without a diagnosis

the same in the workplace; it's not the diagnosis that makes a disability obvious, that is confidential; it's whether the disability in itself if noticeable or you choose to tell people

I feel that nowadays difficulties or sn tends to be picked up earlier than it was back in the day. I remember having developmental delays, dyslexia and dyspraxia, and vpbeing called thick, stupid and clumsy as a child. SN was still around in the past, but unless it was very severe to warrent a place at a special school, kids were generally left to fend for themselves and were beaten up for it!

Dd 6 has ASD, and was picked up before school, at pre school, as a result she has a dx, a statement and goes to a fantastic Specialist school for Autism and is excelling. We are really happy, she does not have a concept of Autism and what it is, I don't think understands. When if if she asks we will tell her

However ds has just turned 2 and his speech is slow, but his understanding is on the ball. Just because dd has ASD I don't want him to be labelled, such as that's minipiglets ds, her dd has ASD so he could have it. He us opposite of dd, very sociable, lots of eye contact and very relaxed. He doe sent want to learn numbers and colours but tats ok he just wants to explore and see how things work. I was at a Surestart centre with him, ds was running from toy to toy quite excited, and tge worker [i told her dd has ASD]said to me, oh he doesn't play with other children. I said he has just turned 2, at that age they tend to play from side to side until they are about 3. I felt that just because dd has ASD, she was trying to place that on ds, which may not be the case!

I do feel that there is a lot of pressure for children to be all singing and dancing at a very young age. Like adults, children are also different and develop at different rates, I will take him to tge speech therapist drop in but apart from that we are not concerned.

I know that I have been HUGELY fortunate in the school DS attends, they have always been very supportive of his needs......while not letting him get away with a single thing .

During infant school there were occasions where he would have a strop and storm from the classroom.....the infant school used to let him go...with a TA. The Junior school are made of sterner stuff......they quickly realized that DS loved to be first in any line up so started "fining" him a minute of his break time every time he left the classroom. This of course meant he was not first in line for the tuck shop, within a week he was stopping at the door while the cogs in his brain turned....then he would wheel round and go back to his seat. Result!

Now he is in Y6 he does well, the only factor being that he cannot cope with teasing/banter. When this does occur he will melt down....the last time this happened was at the end of the day so the school asked me to collect him from the classroom. When I got there he was sat on the floor in the corner of the room all pale and subdued and tearful. Meltdown over but he was exhausted ....and all over a very minor bit of teasing.

Jake thank you for starting this thread,it's one of the most interesting ones I've read in quite a while

Thanks Sock, I feel bad for having started it as the poster in the other thread did come back to it and apologise. I think I overreacted tbh

I am glad though that people have got something out of this.

I was at a meeting with CAMHS part if his assessment for AS. I mentioned to the person that I knew that ds will not be receiving any help. I know he won't (help is extremely scarce in our area) and I actually don't think he needs help at school. He would need help to learn social communication but as far as I know this won't happen either.

Reaction for the HCP from CAMHS? Oh you don't want to carry on with with the assessment then?
Yes I bloddy want to because getting the a TA isn't the one and only reason to get a dx!!!
But on the other side I'm not allowed to say that ds is probably on the spectrum because I don't have a dx. So help from some charities in the area are not available because there is no dx. I am uneasy to talk about ds problem because I know I will be told I'm imagining things and 'this child is fine really' (or he is just shy or whatever variation on that). Or people with a dx will tell me it's an armchair dx and I can't just label him like this.
The same with DH as an adult for that matter.

And the reality? Taking this disability into account means things are much easier both for ds and for DH. I can find ways to support ds, help develop in ways that wouldn't be possible had I decided to forget about the labelling and treated him as an NT child.
It's never so clear cut. Sometimes it might look like a dx has been given that wasn't 'clearly' warranted. Sometimes parents might want to 'label' their child because it's the right way for them to approach the issues their child has.

Both of my sons are dyslexic. I read an article in the Telegraph the other day that said that MC parents seek a label when they can't accept their child isn't a genius. I didn't seek a diagnosis for that, I sought it so they will get extra help and they might not go through life thinking they are stupid or being labelled stupid. DS2 learnt his spellings and wrote this as one of them ecib = dice - this is not about being on the same reading level as the rest of the class FFS.