Have name-changed for this because it's really specific.
I was having a chat with my friend earlier this evening (in person) and the subject of valentines day plans came up.
Bit of background about each of us in case it's at all relevant. She has a relatively new boyfriend. They've been official for a month and were seeing each other for about 3 months before that. She has a 3 year old daughter. Before she got pregnant she was a size 10 and really happy with her figure. She put on a lot of weight during pregnancy and afterwards was about a size 20 for quite a while. Gradually over the last year she has lost all of the weight. She did this in a really unhealthy way by taking high caffeine diet pills and basically starving herself during the week (then getting very drunk and binging at the weekends). So now she is really happy with her figure and has mentioned a few times that it's the first time she feels comfortable having sex while she is sober.
I have been with my DP for a year and I'm around the same size now as I was when we met. I have steadily gained about 7 stone over the past 6 years and now I'm about a size 22 (wear a lot of leggings and dresses etc jn various sizes so quite hard to be certain). We have an 8 week old baby (got pregnant by accident very quickly!). I had a difficult pregnancy physically and mentally so our sex life suffered a lot. So me and my DP only had a few months of having sex which was enjoyable for me. We've had sex 2 or 3 times in the last few weeks but I still felt a bit uncomfortable physically because of my c section scar.
My friend and I are both 23. We have both suffered from depression on and off over the years but are both feeling quite happy and settled at the moment. I have a lot of issues with food (obsessively overeating and using food for comfort and used to binge and make myself sick in the past). I am aware of my emotional triggers now and focusing on losing weight in a healthy way as my baby has given me renewed drive to do this. I'm not going overboard with this because I'm still breastfeeding. My friend is fully aware of my issues with food and she knows I would like to lose weight. I am not happy being this size because I feel unhealthy and sluggish. It makes life more difficult generally too. I felt a lot more attractive when I was slim and would love to be slim again. I also know my partner does prefer slimmer women and would like me to lose weight, mainly for health reasons and because he knows I want to. He has always been very clear that he loves me and fancies me the way I am though and doesn't pressure me or make me feel insecure about my body in any way. So I do feel totally comfortable having sex with him.
I now feel that I'm ready to start having sex again and looking forward to it. We haven't had much opportunity what with our little baby and him working long hours. My mum is babysitting for us on valentines day. We are planning a night in the house just watching a film and having dinner together. I have bought some sexy lingerie to wear as a surprise for my DP.
When I told my friend this she said 'oh really... I would never have done that when I was at my biggest. I just wouldn't have felt comfortable!' Now this alone I would have found a bit insensitive but wouldn't have been insulted. She then went on to say 'to be fair, it's a bit like sprinkling glitter on shit isn't it!'. I just replied 'oh thanks very much' to which she said nothing. She didn't apologise and just changed the subject. I left soon after because I was angry and upset but didn't really want to have an argument about it.
I'm not sure if she meant to insult me or if she was just supremely insensitive. I definitely think she should have apologised when I pointed out that she was basically saying I look like shit now.
Just to point out, she has much more lavish plans for valentines day so it isn't jealousy that we're having a romantic night or anything. Also I have been positive about her weight loss and given her a lot of genuine compliments when I've seen her.
So AIBU to still feel so angry about this and think she should have apologised?