27 Year old Sister moving in with 17 year old. AIBU

[ChaoticMum80]

My sister met a guy at work 3 months ago, she's 27, he's 17. She says he's mature for his age and it's just a fling as he's going to uni this September and moving to the other end of the country so it will just be a bit of fun and naturally come to an end.

Except it's not. Things have moved really quickly and she says he's different to her previous partners and knows this is special. Last month she told him how she felt and he said he felt the same (although she is his first partner). He's moving to London in September and they've agreed to move in together after his first year of uni! (She would move from Leeds to London).

AIBU to think this is ridiculous? I know she's only 27 but she doesn't have time to wait for him to grow up. He's an attractive guy for his age with money saved and a part time job set up for when he moves so I'm sure plenty of girls will be interested at uni. Has anybody had an experience with something like this and do you have any advice? What kind of issues have you encountered with such an age gap?

I'm really worried she will get hurt!

[whomadeyougod]

it doesnt matter about any one elses experience in this , every relationship is different , they might well make a go of it ,i dont see a problem with the age .

[NewtRipley]

Hahaha 6 years older

[Thetallesttower]

newt I agree, the gap is one of life experience, however one can only imagine what they have in common at this early stage, and once he gets to uni, my guess is that it will fizzle out. Definitely encourage her not to move until he's done a year there- that way if it is going to burn out, it will have done. If they are still serious after another year (or 18 months, I guess he's going this Sept) then that's different anyway.

[slightlyconfused85]

I was with someone much older than me when I started uni. It fizzled out that year - I was having way too much fun. It is a bit odd, but I think it'll come to an end quite quickly. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you.

[hootloop]

It sounds to me but then I got with DH when I was 17 and he was 26.
I know they say boys take longer to mature but it is possible he is mature enough to be in this relationship.

[hootloop]

Oops, sounds ok. I meant.

[GTA5MASTER]

When I turned 18 I started seeing and then moved in with a 28 year old guy. It was ok for 18months but he was more immature than me so I ended it. Don't like huge age gaps tbh.
My husbands ex was 16 when they met and he subsequently got pregnant (within a few weeks) he was 23 and I think that is really ick because to me she was a girl and still at school.
Obviously didn't work out and the main give away to that was that she still watched the Disney channel ;-)
Op there's nothing that can be done so just step back and watch it fizzle out with an offered shoulder if she needs your support.

[peachactiviaminge]

If it was the opposite way round and your sister was a man she'd be deemed a pervert. I've seen it happen many times on here. Aren't double standards amazing?

[MothratheMighty]

Well, let's hope he takes full responsibility for contraception and manages to finish his degree.
What's her job, that she can scamper from Leeds to London with no problems?

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

My DH is 4 and 1/2 years younger than me, is that creepy? I doubt it.

Who cares, it'll fizzle out in his first year of uni. She may well get hurt but there's not much you can do about it.

[LiberalLibertine]

They're both adults imo. Ok he's not 18, but I really don't think the weeks/days between 17/18 are relevant,a 17 year old is capable of making a decision regarding his relationships.

I'd stay well out of it op.

[ladyquinoa]

I wouldn't bat an eye lid if he was 27 and she was 37 but somehow a 17 year old is still a child. It seems wrong to me

[ladyquinoa]

There's a huge difference between a 17 and 20 year old

[DownstairsMixUp]

^^ I agree with above ladyquinoa

But do stay out OP, I agree, this will fizzle out. It's a bit weird. I'm the same age as your sister and I just don't see 17 year old boys in that way. They still look really young to me. People seem to get a little confused with consent age = equalling adult. No 18 is an adult in this country, 16-17 you are a child that can consent to sex, that's all.

[Daykin]

I went out with someone much older at 17. It lasted about 18 months and fizzle out when I was at uni. He was immature and I outgrew him. I think a lot of people who are attracted to relationships with 16/17/18 year olds are a bit immature. I wouldn't do anything, partly because it's none of your business and partly because there is nothing you can do. She might have her heart broken but so what? Since when were we supposed to get out without a broken heart?

[gamerchick]

when I first dated my husband i was 17 and he was 29.. we had an awesome time and it just fizzled out a decent chunk of time in.

We met again nearly 20s later when I'd grown up and it was still the same awesome as it was then

there's nothing icky about it and i still say that it'll fizzle out when he goes off and does his thing.. stay out of it OP. If people start poking their noses in it might last longer than it would naturally because they'll think they have something to prove.

if it stands the test of time then as they get older it'll matter less in the eyes of people.

[gamerchick]

*years

[Birdsgottafly]

"There's a huge difference between a 17 and 20 year old"

It does depend on the individual.

My 17 year old was smitten with a 24 year old, he would consider going out with her.

She did date a 27 year old but decided that they were at different stages, he wanted to settle down more than she was prepared to, she may work out of the country, in the future.

She is now at 18, dating a 22 year old, with a career and his own house, all achieved independently.

My DD is on a career path and her employment requires maturity and carries responsibility.

I meet people who are in their 40's, that are dickheads.

I think to look specifically for someone much younger/older than yourself, suggests issues, but meeting someone accidentally and finding that you are attracted, is different.

I think a lot of people should just enjoy their relationship for the first six months, rather than having long term plans, anyway.

If it lasts, it lasts, I don't see the need to end a relationship just on the off chance it won't go the distance, so early on.

[digerd]

How is an 18 year-old student and gf ever going to afford to rent in London?

[MothratheMighty]

Room in a shared student house. Not what I'd want at 27, but if it's tru luurrrvvve what can you do?
Unless she's a Banker on megabucks, in which case, no problem.

[DayAfterYesterday]

As a 27 year old woman myself I think its beyond icky, I wouldn't look twice at a 17 year old boy, and boy is what he is, just wrong IMO.

[MothratheMighty]

OP, you are worried your sister will get hurt? Who is the adult in this relationship?

[FlockOfTwats]

I very much doubt he will want to be tied down to his pushing 30 'girlfriend' once he gets into uni life.

[Caitlin17]

16 year olds can do more than just consent to sex. They can leave school, leave home and get married amongst others.

I expect it will fizzle out when he is at university and if it doesn't, then there was more to it than the OP thought. Either way the problem, if one exists, is solved.

I don't think the age gap is relevant and as for the possibility of being hurt, well that can happen no matter what age the parties are.

[starballbunny]

A seventeen year old who has stayed on at school and wants to go to university is, in almost all cases, still a child.

DD's 17 year old friends are, they still have their parents sending them to bed and making sure they revise for their exams.

In three years time they will have lived away from home for 18 months.

I got engaged at 20 and I knew exactly what I was doing.

No way would I have had that certainly at 17.