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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry about attendance charge from school

562 replies

HidingInTheBathroom · 07/02/2014 15:36

I am very upset at the minute. Received my fine today for taking my children out of school four days before they break up for Christmas.

Me and my husband have received a £60 fine for each child for each parent.

We are being charged more for being a couple. Which I think is wrong. The last week of school they only watch films and went to a pantomime. Oh and had a school disco. The holiday was far more educational than watching films and family time is hard to come by with work.

When I have requested a meeting with the head teacher I have just got a mouthful of abusive from the receptionist.

OP posts:
Sallyingforth · 07/02/2014 21:27

And I like what you said Chocolate. If only all mothers taught their children your way.

ChocolateWombat · 07/02/2014 21:29

Clock, perhaps your last point is where we see things differently. Sadly,im of the opinion that left to its own devices, society will not behave well. People will not always be love and kind, but act with self interest and the weak will be crushed. I guess I see laws as very important. You think people should be trusted regarding schooling...that they will choose wisely if left to choose. I don't see that, which is why I think fines are okay.

Coldlightofday · 07/02/2014 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumandboys123 · 07/02/2014 21:30

oh you did make me laugh, OP. I can't remember hearing such a blatant back door dig at single parents....ever. Chuckling away to myself here. Poor, poor married people, having to take responsibility for their actions. 'Cos single parents never do that, do they?!

ClockWatchingLady · 07/02/2014 21:31

(or was my last post a little heavy for a discussion about taking the kids to Majorca in March? Grin)

amimagic · 07/02/2014 21:31

Chocolate wombat you were certainly on the last thread on this issue pontificating in much the same way.

Please don't assume that people who think differently to you don't place a high value on their children's education.

ChocolateWombat · 07/02/2014 21:33

Clock, maybe....but I enjoyed it anyway.
Echt, sorry but I don't know which post you mean or why I was snippy or aggressive. As far as I was aware, you asked if we should obey laws we think are wrong....and I explained why I think we should.
Sorry if what I said offended you. I just thought I was answering your question.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/02/2014 21:34

Here's a thought for your perusal .....

Three families with DC the same age, none of the children are sent to school that day. Perhaps they are neighbours.

One is home educated, one is on holiday from private school (enjoying an extended holiday compared to his friends) and one is on a family holiday with parents but usually attends a state school (though permission was sought for this from the school it is deemed an un-authorised absence)
Only one of the families is fined for the day not in school.
They are the poorest family in the street.
Perhaps all the families spend the day visiting a local zoo?
(The family were too poor to go away for the week but both parents have the week off work and they are doing some day trips from home)

amimagic · 07/02/2014 21:34

The next narrative will be insulting posts about having it large on the Costa del sol or lounging by the pool in majorca ...

(not aimed specifically at you chocolate)

ChocolateWombat · 07/02/2014 21:38

Amimagic, yes I was on that thread a couple of weeks ago. I think it was one of my first.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who has engaged in debate here. It has been interesting and stimulating and I'm happy to agree to disagree. Apologies if my tone has offended anyone.

I'm off to plan my holidays now!

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/02/2014 21:38

We thought Majorca was very educational amimagic

It has an amazing nature reserve and an interesting monastry in the centre of the island.

amimagic · 07/02/2014 21:42

Juggling most destinations are educational i think, if you're that kind of person.

It's amazing how many people fail to realise this, and are extremely scathing about places they've probably never been to.

ClockWatchingLady · 07/02/2014 21:42

See you, Chocolate. Enjoy that planning (I hear travel is pretty cheap in early June Smile...).

Sallyingforth · 07/02/2014 21:44

Juggling, that's an easy one - you are not comparing like with like.

The home educated children may be having lessons at other times. The extended holidays of the private school may be possible due to more extensive teaching at other times, planned for the whole class, so that no-one misses anything.

When children are taken out of the state school, those individuals are losing part of a curriculum, which they cannot make up unless the teachers divert their focus from the rest of the class. And importantly, they are being taught that it's OK to drop out of things and break rules when its suits them.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/02/2014 21:44

Thanks amimagic, thanks all for an interesting discussion Thanks

JugglingFromHereToThere · 07/02/2014 21:51

Well Sallying three children living in the same road going to the same zoo on a day trip with their families sounds a bit like comparing like with like to me, especially when all the families may quite rightly view the trip as educational as well as fun.
Who knows maybe they'll even bump into another class from the school whilst they're there ?

echt · 07/02/2014 21:52

ChocolateWombat I did not say aggressive, I said passive aggressive.

The bit about free spirit.

marmitecat · 07/02/2014 21:54

It is very simple to exercise your autonomy as a parent to take your state-educated kids on holiday whenever you want and for however long.

  1. Book your holiday
  2. Deregister your child from school before the holiday.
  3. Apply to the LEA for a school place on your return.

If you think it unreasonable that your child's place is given to another family in your absence, it would probably be more unreasonable for the taxpayer to be paying for the empty desk and another family that wanted it to be denied the chance.

I have sympathy with the OP as I remember the fury I felt when I got a parking ticket recently. But to echo the other posters: it's the rules and it's well known now.

BiscuitMillionaire · 07/02/2014 21:54

By a curious irony, in my DC's newsletter yesterday there was a stern note from the headteacher about the rules re unauthorised absence. On the same page we were informed that the school was to be used as a polling station in May so the school would be shut that day. Evidently it would not damage the children's education to miss that day Hmm

Fairenuff · 07/02/2014 21:58

Juggling did you read Sally's post about missing the curriculum? That's the difference.

Private schools usually have much longer days and therefore longer holidays. The privately educated child would not be missing any teaching.

Home education makes sense to go for days out when everyone else is in school and educate when schools are on holiday so the home ed child would not be missing teaching.

The state school child would. Today, for example, my class learned about how plants grow and we all planted seeds for a science investigation. The 'poor family' child would have missed out on this if they were at the zoo instead.

Btw, the poor family would know that they would be fined £60 per child, per parent, so that would add £120 to their day out at the zoo. Do you think they would do that, as it sounds like an expensive day out to me.

Sallyingforth · 07/02/2014 22:03

No Juggling you know better than that :)
Where the children are going to is irrelevant.
The whole argument is about children missing out on lessons, and what happens when they do.
The only ones definitely missing something are those who are away from classes while the lessons are continuing in their absence.

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 07/02/2014 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallyingforth · 07/02/2014 22:05

Evidently it would not damage the children's education to miss that day
How difficult is this to understand?
When the school is closed for a day, all lessons are suspended and resumed the next day. No-one misses anything!

BoffinMum · 07/02/2014 22:15

One of my kids has been seriously ill, and went through a phase of not being able to attend school regularly, although he was up to doing some learning. We rang the LA to sort out alternative home based provision for him, and you know what? They have absolutely nothing for kids of his age. No provision at all. Nada. They offered zero support. No calls were returned by the EWO. His statement of SEN was not reviewed or updated. They couldn't care less. Even though they have a legal responsibility to provide for his education.

Which is why I think the fines are a total joke. They are basically the education equivalent of Gatso fine for cars. Money spinners.

I should fine each person in the LA for each day of education my DS had to miss because they couldn't be arsed to provide it.

clam · 07/02/2014 22:17

And as some schools are used as polling stations (not their decision) those that are not are given an "occasional day" to be taken on a date of their choosing. This is factored in to the set days of compulsory schooling over the year. So no one's missing anything - and the same goes for Inset days.

Re: "How about huge numbers of people all taking their children out of school for a day at once" Can I suggest March 26th? Grin