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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take ds out of school

55 replies

Sadoldbag · 05/02/2014 22:35

We're going away for the weekend and I plan to pick up ds early he will miss double PE which is his last lesson hes in year nine

he has had 100% attendance since year 7 and I really don't want to pull a sickie and take the whole day off

He has not seen his grandparents in 2 years(we finally managed to scrape the £400 together to go) they live in In Ireland and were hoping to to go Friday in a come back Sunday night

AIBU i am prepared to I get flamed

OP posts:
Dromedary · 06/02/2014 09:36

NB I don't think they can fine you unless the child has missed 10 half days in the school year?

No way is PE as important as maths and English! Try getting a job without having passed those GCSEs. At my child's school they differentiate between important and not so important subjects, and children can miss the latter for individual music lessons. My DC misses a lot of home economics and PE that way.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 06/02/2014 09:38

OFGS. He's had 100% attendance since year 7. It's one afternoon and he's going to visit family he hardly ever gets to see. Take him, just tell the school he's leaving early. Feel no guilt.

Hoppinggreen · 06/02/2014 09:45

I'm sure it will be ok, as people say he will have been marked in after lunch so no absence and no fine .
Someone above has said you can't get fined unless your child's attendance is below a certain amount - not true, you CAN get fined. ( not you OP I meant generally)

ShadowOfTheDay · 06/02/2014 09:51

How many lessons do your kids have after lunch then - ours have 2 lessons, break, 2 lessons, lunch, one lesson and home... so the last lesson of the day is from lunchtime.. (no chance of double PE for the afternoon here) would your child stay for lunch and registration then go home??

LEMmingaround · 06/02/2014 09:58

I can understand why the OP doesn't want to break the 100% attendance thing. My DD had 100% attendance last year, she got a little certificate and was thrilled to bits. She so wanted to repeat that this year but was poorly last week so she had to have time off, she was gutted, poor thing :) Yes its pretty trivial in the scheme of things but its a goal nevertheless.

If i were the OP i would just take him out for the last lesson - i would be honest with the school about why, and that will be that. In primary school, i don't know about secondary (yet), i think they are only marked as absent if they miss a whole morning or whole afternoon. So if he only misses one lesson then its not going to be marked as an abscence. If it would, i would be inclined to say, stuff it then, have the whole day off "sick" and enjoy your break.

Adikia · 06/02/2014 10:13

YANBU, it's PE, missing 1 lesson wont do him any harm and there's no work to catch up on. Hope you all have a lovely time.

ShadowOfTheDay · 06/02/2014 10:45

ermmm My Sisters eldest is doing PE in Y9 and covers....

get to grips with athletics, badminton, basketball, boccia, cricket, football, hockey, netball, swimming and tennis
Analysis of performance
Officials and sports leaders, observation, analysis and feedback
Applied anatomy and physiology
The body, its systems and physical activity
Exercise and training
Health and fitness, principles and methods of training
Factors affecting performance
Nutrition, drugs, personal hygiene, age, motivation and technology
Factors affecting participation
Your school, social groupings, leisure time, sports facilities, sponsorship and the media
Safety and risk
Preventing and treating sports injuries

So I don't see all this "it's only PE there's no work to catch up on" business

that said - I would still take him out for the afternoon, having applied for authorised absence and still going if I did not get it...

TamerB · 06/02/2014 11:09

I could quite happily say it SuburbanRhonda - it took me 2 decades to get over school PE lessons and get actively involved in sport! PE teachers have a lot to answer for IMO. Missing the lesson won't do any harm at all as long as he is active. I would love the opportunity to tell a PE teacher what I thought. At 60 yrs I have taken up running and it enjoy it. I shudder at the horrors of it at school!
There is no comparison between missing Maths and missing PE.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 11:13

100 % attendance over 2 and a half years and we are getting into a debate over whether it matters to miss one hour's practical PE! Hmm
Only on MN...........!
I bet he is one of a handful who haven't been ill, been to the orthodontist etc.
Mine had orthodontist appointments at regular intervals. I looked at the timetable and certainly put some lessons as more important than others when making the next appointment!!

lljkk · 06/02/2014 11:44

"Doctor's appt" he's old enough to go along with the lie.

I cannot see a single rational reason to tell the school the truth.

Adikia · 06/02/2014 11:47

Shadow, in year 9? my year 11 sister is covering all that for GCSE PE but year 9 was spent running round a field or playing hockey/netball.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 11:48

My rational reason is there is no need not to tell the truth and it is a terrible example to set a child. Anyone would think that OP was being unreasonable, rather than making a perfectly reasonable request!

TamerB · 06/02/2014 11:49

I would be asking the school questions if they were doing written PE in key stage 3.
If it bothers you go swimming for an hour in Ireland, play badminton for an hour, go for a run.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 06/02/2014 11:55

I cannot see a single rational reason to tell the school the truth

Sheesh. because telling the truth is the right thing to do? Hmm

I'd take him out, but be honest about it. Lying about doctors etc is pretty scummy when adults do it, but to teach a child to do so is not a good lesson.

lljkk · 06/02/2014 11:56

There's every reason to lie given the current publicity & policies about fines & absence.

She wants to take him out for brief holiday ,Tamer. That used to be a reasonable request. It is now no longer considered exceptional enough. She could be fined. She will be hassled. It's not worth the grief when a lie will suffice nicely (or £££ penalties when OP is already quite skint).

lljkk · 06/02/2014 11:57

ps: I am taking mine out to go meet their Great-grandmother and I expect to pay £500 for the privilege. I may have to pay £500 just to go get their passports. Wouldn't surprise me. For some idiotic reason I told the truth about why they'll be away (tomorrow to get passports).

I am an idiot.
I advise OP to NOT be an idiot. She should lie.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 06/02/2014 12:02

If she takes him home early on Friday afternoon, and is honest about it, it's unlikely she'll have any problem.

If she lies about fake doctors' appointments, she's setting a terrible example, and he would be better learning whatever he'd learn in double PE than learning that you should lie to get out of things.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 12:11

It is still a perfectly reasonable request! They are not going to fine him for an hour. He gets his mark, he is not even down as an a authorised absence!
I am thankful that I didn't do lies with mine because as adults they have a good work ethic and find that they can't bring themselves to lie for time off. It wouldn't be the case if we routinely lied through school.
My mind boggles that a child with one of the best attendance records in the school, achieved by only a handful, is going to to be in trouble for one hour off on a Friday afternoon!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/02/2014 12:12

I had a brace when I was at school. I had to have regular appointments and they were only available Mon - Fri. I always used to go during PE (or typing) lessons as it meant I didn't miss out on academic subjects. The teachers thought this was totally sensible and obviously didn't affect my education. I think this is fine given he has such good attendance.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 12:12

The register is marked after lunch- he is present.

bonkersLFDT20 · 06/02/2014 12:19

I agree with Mrscastle.

PE is just as important IMO. It always seems that if a lesson needs to be dropped for whatever reason, it's PE that gets missed. What does that teach our children about the importance of exercise on our physical and mental well being, not to mention team skills etc.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/02/2014 12:22

bonkers - don't be silly no one is saying exercise isn't important. But you can easily fit in another exercise session if you miss the school. Replicating a chemistry experiment, say, would be much harder. Most teens I know do lots of exercise out of school.

bonkersLFDT20 · 06/02/2014 13:05

True ghoul It just hit a nerve.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 13:11

I never got anything out of team skills at school, except that you were not wanted unless you were one of the better players! They didn't want you, were quick to criticise, gave no encouragement and then expected you to try! A dead loss for teamwork.
Of course exercise is important- do some over the weekend.

TamerB · 06/02/2014 13:13

My children were playing lots of sport outside school in addition to staying late for extra- one lesson off in 2 and a half years is not going to affect them in any way whatsoever. I do think that people need to get a grip!