to tell him he shouldn't come on holiday?

[nosickplease]

Joined this forum just for AIBU!

Short story:
my other half just came back from a short trip with his parents. During this trip (on monday) his dad came down with a nasty vomiting bug. This morning my OH came down with it too, though he doesn't seem to have it so badly. He is still at the tablespoons of water/no food stage. We don't live together so I haven't seen him since he caught the bug.

Now the dilemma. We are supposed to be going on a group ski trip tomorrow, staying in a cabin with 8 other people (and one bathroom!). Everyone is a bit jittery about potentially getting the bug, as they're so contagious it's hard to completely remove the risk (esp if same bathroom) and we only have 4 days abroad and don't want to lose some of them in a pukefest.

My boyfriend called the doctor, who thought it was probably relatively minor and if he had no symptoms tomorrow he'd be ok. (I'm a little sceptical that a) this will be the case b) he'd not be contagious even so)

We could potentially cancel and be covered by insurance, boyfriend wouldn't have to pay excess on his travel insurance, I would have to pay 100. But I still want to go! If I cancelled my bf would probably feel terribly bad and organise another holiday (though the one we have got is an unusual one which would be hard to replicate - Norway)

What should I do? Would it be awful to tell him he shouldn't come if he still has residual symptoms tomorrow? Should I be telling him that anyway?? Should I just cancel and suck up the 100 and the loss of the holiday? It's stressing me out quite a bit and I'd worry about spending the whole holiday obsessively cleaning / watching people for signs of illness...

He shouldn't go. He could still be contagious.

We don't live together because we are a relatively new couple, but we are pretty serious and I don't wanna be the neurotic
b!tch who banned her boyfriend from a group holiday because he had an upset stomach.

He's not thrown up since 2pm today and can drink water but still feels a bit tender. No downstairs eruptions since very early this morning (lovely). The doc is a family friend so might have been trying a bit of 'look on the bright side', who knows. We agreed if he has any symptoms whatsoever tomorrow then he shouldn't go, which is what the doc said, and yes it surprises me too. I doubt he'd lie about what the doc actually said but who knows how he described the symptoms.

In a weird sort of way hoping he has a massive puke tomorrow so I don't have to decide. Also presents logistical problems as my skis are at his house... #firstworldproblems (sad I know).

On the 'if it were me', if it were me I'd already have cancelled and told him to go ahead out of fear of becoming public enemy number one if anyone in the rest of the group got I'll! I hate the feeling that i'm somehow deciding it for him because I will feel guilty irrespective of the outcome.

Then that's your answer nose

Go on the holiday. Personally I would have also cancelled if I was sick as my health and those I may infect is my responsibility and I wouldn't want anyone to make that decision for me.

Just try not to be too excited when you go to collect your skis

Hopefully he wouldn't be able to see my face from inside the hazmat suit

Couldn't you just ask him to open the front door and leave them on the step while you stay in the car and wait till he goes back in......or is that too heartless

I'd ask him to wear rubber gloves before putting them on the doorstep too then bathe in hand sanitizer

Surely if he washes his hands well and every time he visits the loo, doesn't kiss you on the mouth, and doesn't vomit or cough over you you should be fine.

Aren't the infectious germs/bacteria or whatever passed by touch mainly. If you wash your hands carefully you should be ok.

Plus he mustn't prepare food for anyone.

No Maggie, we went away working on that theory when one of us was ill - despite being obsessive about cleanliness we all caught it

Plus this is quite an active break - if you were away for a fortnight I think there would be more to think about, realistically if its been the full monty he is not going to feel up to skiing is he?

Personally being on a plane with a new boyfriend with the squits would possibly end a relationship - I could only just tolerate it with DH and we have been together for years

Dear OP,
The common D&V bug at this time of year is norovirus. It is VERY contagious. Your DP really should not travel unless he is 48 hours symptom free especially on a plane as the air is recycled and so has a good chance of infecting a large number of people. The 48 hour rule is applied in schools, hospitals, catering establishments and many other places because it works. I hope you enjoy your holiday.

I'm still in the midst of a nasty virus including ad (not v) and went a full day without d just pain then it came back full force. When dd1 had it she threw up sporadically over 3 days, just thought she was clear then bleugh.

So I'd enforce the 48hr rule!

What did insurance company say OP?

He still feels weak/dizzy today so took the decision to cancel. Told the doc as much and the doc wrote him a note, insurance confirmed they would cover. The poor sod is driving my skis to the airport (only half an hr but still) because I had the morning from hell at work and it would have been too tight to come and pick them up. On the train to Gatwick now.

Moral of the story: don't go on holiday. If it hadn't been decided so late and I'd had more time to think at work I prob would have cancelled too to avoid the stress!

Thanks for the thoughts :-) I will have to think of something nice to do to cheer him up when I get back. Think we both feel bad about it!!