..to really, really want a cheese sandwich on plain white bread?

[FurryDogMother]

I admit it, I have food issues - I do the low carb thing 90% of the time, and a lot of my waking life is spent obsessing over things I put in my mouth (ooer!). Right now I would kill for the cheese sarnie of my youth - just plain, ordinary cheddar slices (sliced at home!) on cotton-wool white bread (sliced in the factory) with a smearing of real butter. Maybe a smidgen of Branston. Or, alternatively, a fish paste sandwich. I think I've been brainwashed into thinking all I should be eating is hand-crafted ciabatta with a sprinkling of organic goats' vomit decorated with olives and drizzled with either prune juice or truffle-scented oil.

Fuck know what point I'm trying to make, I just want a cheese sarnie, but can't deal with the guilt.

Those are some issues you have there

What is the 'guilt' about?

Oh yanbu! I used to be a fussy eater and could NEVER find a simple sandwich while out and about.
It would be a good idea for kids as well. I've had a few times while out with DS for longer than expected and all he wants is a simple cheese sandwich.

As you said, you have issues. I cant imagine life is great fun if food plays such a huge part in it.

If you are hungry, eat a cheese sandwich if that is what you want.

If I eat a thing with preservatives etc. in it I will turn into White Dee, I suppose :)

I'm not sure what you mean re White Dee?

But if you want a sandwich then just have one

Obsessing about the food you can/can't have is not healthy and doesn't tend to end well.

A cheese sarnie of that ilk is about 500 calories. You can eat what you like as long as you burn the calories. Win.

nasty remark wrt to White Dee's appearance. You Kate Moss?

Have thirty sandwiches for all I care.

Ah, now this is why I have started the 5:2 way of eating - I eat very little for two days a week, but can eat what I like for the other five (within reason). I can enjoy a cheese and pickle sarnie guilt free on one of those five days, on one of the fasting days I just think "I'll have that tomorrow".

Although I would opt for a nice crusty tiger loaf rather than white ready sliced.

Please try not to take me seriously :) White Dee as in Benefits St - I actually like her, and am a bit concerned that she and I may have been separated at birth, hence my desire to preserve my middle class credentials by rejecting white bread and everything wot might sail on it. I'm going to go nibble on an anchovy stuffed olive now.

SoleSource I didn't mention her appearance! I like her appearance, tbh. I rather resemble her :)

Fuck guilt. Have the damn sandwich.

So you are saying that if you eat one cheese sandwich, you will turn into a twenty stone benefit scrounger? bizarre...are

Or you trying to say that because it is just a plain cheese sandwich on white bread, and not some poncey artisan creation that you have paid a fortune for, then you are somehow behaving like a chav.

Yep ya got issues.

I think I've walked into another dimension

What on earth does what you want to eat, have to do with what class you say you are?

Who knew a simple cheese sarnie (or not as the case may be) could be so complicated!

I would say you might struggle to eat anything with your head that far up your own arse..

Or what squeaky said...with more eloquence.

That's exactly what I had for my lunch, with the addition of ham, mayo and a whole load of Branson pickle and a big handful of crisps on the side..... It was fab!

What a strange thread.
I'm sorry op but you do have issues, all this over a cheese sandwich, just go and eat one!

I'd go with Naoko's take on this, if we actually had white cotton wool bread and value cheddar in the house - but no, all I get when I open the fridge is an onslaught of artisan cheese smells, and today, that is pissing me off.

Squeaky - yep, issues-r-me :) And WD is NOT 20 stone - maybe 16 at a pinch.

Its white fucking bread with cheese for Christ sake!

Now only people on benefits can eat white bread? Not people who perceive themselves as middle class? Riight, ill alert the masses,

I do 5:2 and on one normal eating day I indulge in a home made cheese scone with fruit jam. OMG carb heaven.

Also crusty bread sliced thick with peanut butter and jam

Mmmmmmmm

And there's me thinking this was going to be a thread by a narked coeliac.

No-one with a fridge full of artisan cheese has the right to complain about ANYTHING, EVER. The End.

a narked coeliac

Ah I see you've met my MIL?

And bacon sandwich on cheap sliced white bread with tomato sauce

Some of you are taking me far too seriously :) Have extracted head from arse and am now planning a very basic toad in the hole for dinner. With onion gravy, and mustard mash, and peas. I just get a bit sick of being 'creative' with dinners, which is why a plain cheese sarnie appealed - as would beans on toast, or even mashed sardines on toast. Frothing about it in AIBU is fun :) You lot can be so reactive at times :)