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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect a well done from my dsis :(

55 replies

Mummytotwox · 04/02/2014 10:17

So I have started my weight loss journey. I have currently lost 39lb since 27/12/13.

I have 143lb left to lose.

I have had so many people say well done, or like statuses I put on fb. Apart from my dsis. She hasn't said anything. Or liked anything, nothing. I'm actually quiet hurt.

She lost 2 stone by healthy eatting, I can not do this. I have been dieting all my life, I am addicted to food.

This is my final chance, I have never been so deteremend to do something in my life.

Sorry for my rant :(

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 04/02/2014 11:02

She may think congratulations are premature, since it is early days for you. She may strongly disapprove of Cambridge and actually be worried about you, so not want to mention it. She may have your Facebook feed hidden. The only way to know is to talk to her.

SolomanDaisy · 04/02/2014 11:04

Oh, having read your last comment, it's probably because you say things like she 'failed at it'.

1974rach · 04/02/2014 11:04

I am 9 stone down with 5 to go. I don't expect congratulations or comments on my weight. I have done this for me not for anyone else.

Everyone is different and just because your dsis isn't saying it it doesn't mean she's not thinking it.

This is your weight loss journey and not everyone will be as interested as you are. I know that I am coming across as harsh but like you I've been dieting for years - the only validation you need of your success is how you feel.

FloweryFeatureWall · 04/02/2014 11:05

I wonder if she maybe finds it a reminder then rather than being jealous. If she's lost her weight, she's done that slog and she might not like being reminded of it and/or being part of someone else's journey because she's already been through it. It might bring back her own negative feelings about the process and how hard it was and rather than saying something wrong, she's saying nothing at all.

Or, she could just be jealous.

FloweryFeatureWall · 04/02/2014 11:06

And if you said she failed at it to her, that would probably be why!

rollonthesummer · 04/02/2014 11:10

I hate seeing people banging on about weight loss and diets on Facebook (and in real life, tbh) and would never comment on posts like that. Maybe she's just not very interested. Maybe she didn't want you to keep ringing her every day when she lost weight either.

falulahthecat · 04/02/2014 11:13

39lbs in 6 weeks?! My goodness, that is a lot. well done but be careful, maybe she has not commented because she's worried about you?
My sister did the cambridge diet, and other similar ones,the problem is your body finds it hard to digest 'real' food after, it does not address your bad relationship with food and she put it all back on after she stopped. This has happened 3 times. I now don't comment on her losing weight whilst she'd on the diet, but do if she's keeping off after she's finished.

The cambridge diet is paying someone to make you anorexic. Don't eat anything except salad and weight watchers cup a soups and take vitamins = the cambridge diet she did. Her hair was dru, her eczema flared up, she had huge dark circles under her eyes and terrible headaches.

I've suffered with anorexia and bulimia for my entire teenage years and early 20's and know how hard it is to 'just' be healthy. All I'd suggest is once the weight is off maybe start looking at food differently, ask her advice, and maybe then she'll be more supportive when she feels more comfortable with what you're doing.

Just some ideas, of course I don't know you or your sister well enough to know if what I', saying is correct. :)

Pigeonhouse · 04/02/2014 11:37

Look, well done on the weight loss, and I hope you can continue beyond the Cambridge diet to lose everything you need to make you healthy - assuming you can only do the CD for short periods, as it's so drastic?

Your relationship with your sister sounds prickly in any case, and I think you need to move beyond expecting her admiration. There may be all kinds of reasons. Some people (I admit to being one) find other people's diets very dull, and I am also someone who would never comment on someone's weight loss, as I don't generally make comments on people's appearance. I would absolutely hate it if someone commented on mine. Maybe she is jealous, maybe she is resentful that you regard her as having 'failed' at the CD? You have a better idea which it is than any of us.

FleecyFeet · 04/02/2014 12:05

She has probably hidden you from her news feed so she doesn't even see your updates and status updates. I've done this to a few people because they posted a million times a day with pictures of their dinner with the words 'nom nom' or things like that.

Objection · 04/02/2014 12:57

I personally get a bit irate about people banging on and on about their weightloss acheivements - in the same way that I would about someone going on and on about any kind of achievement.

I've hidden those on FB who constantly post about what they've eaten or whether they've been "naughty" with some cake.

As others have said - weightloss is for no one else but yourself.

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 04/02/2014 13:02

Obviously none of you have struggled with an addiction then, I'm allowed to post what I want & when I want. I have inspired 5 other women to start the diet through Facebook.

OP posts:
Hissy · 04/02/2014 13:05

Do you have any 'counselling' aspects of this diet, or are you on your own with all this?

When I did the precursor to the LighterLife (i think the same as Cambridge) one of the first things we were told was to expect the unexpected from 'friends' and 'family'.

You are challenging HER position in life by placing yourself on a more equal footing. She doesn't want you NOT to be the Fat Sister. That suited her and put her in a more comfy position in life.

Basically you have to dig deep and do this for you. No-one else matters here.

The main point of this diet is to get weight off that needs to be got off fast. It doesn't prepare you for normal life/eating again, so you will have to do some proper work in this area to keep the weight off.

You can do this, you really can. You have achieved so much already, and I admire you for that. I really wish I could love myself enough to do this for me. I'm nearly there. I'm trying. Just need to try harder and for longer.

FloweryFeatureWall · 04/02/2014 13:07

So post what you and when you want then. Just don't moan and whinge when your sister doesn't worship every status you put up Hmm

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2014 13:10

Yes of course you're 'allowed' to put up what you want on your own timeline.

And your sister is 'allowed' to ignore it.

Personally I would never dream of commenting on someone gaining weight, so I don't comment on them losing it either.

It's none of my business.

rollonthesummer · 04/02/2014 13:11

I'm allowed to post what I want & when I want.

Of course you are, it is a free country. That's not what you asked though-you want people to like what you write!

1974rach · 04/02/2014 15:21

I think you'll find quite a few people here have had some form of addiction - you are not the only one I can assure you.

No one has disputed your right to post what you want and when you want, however you posted this in a forum asking for opinions.

You have had your response, and they are the opinions of those who chose to respond. If you don't like what is being said then that is unfortunate, but we are not obliged to agree with you.

Felyne · 04/02/2014 15:31

WHat's your relationship with her like otherwise? Maybe she doesn't care what you weigh, she loves you whether you're 50kg or 500kg.

GreenPetal94 · 04/02/2014 15:32

Once you reach your target weight then you ask her why she hasn't congratulated you. The slow everyday drip may be hard for her for a variety of reasons.

Well done on the weight loss.

everlong · 04/02/2014 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelanieCheeks · 04/02/2014 15:47

The sister has tried Cambridge and didn't get on with it. ( I don't like the word failed, it's very negative)

You're now posting frequent updates about how well Cambridge is doing for you. You've inspired other people to try Cambridge as well.

If I was you're sister I'd feel a little odd about liking statuses which were praising something that I wasn't a fan of.

OpalQuartz · 04/02/2014 15:54

Because the OP has lost more than 2 stone

mercibucket · 04/02/2014 16:02

2 stone in a month sounds a lot to lose. perhaps she is worried and so doesnt want to sound like she is approving of something with such dramatic weightloss? have you asked her?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 04/02/2014 16:07

Perhaps the sister doesn't approve of the Cambridge diet, or doesn't think it's safe etc? (been googling at lunch) it is very extreme and costly, though if it gets results I can see why it is popular.

Original poster
Mummytotwox · 04/02/2014 17:05

il tell you why im doing this diet. i went to the doctors, i was told i was close to having a heart attack or a stroke if i didnt do something soon. it was either i do cambridge paid by myself or a gastric band by nhs.

i am 23. i weighed 24stone5lb. i had to do something before i died.

OP posts:
BasketzatDawn · 04/02/2014 18:28

Maybe she just finds it all a bit boring. You are doing this for you, presumably, so why does it matter what your sis thinks?

This is something that gets me on my (extra-reinforced) soap box in fact. I lost several stones a few years ago, got loads of complements, sometimes/often from people who rarely if ever commented on my appearance (hello, had I been invisible the previous several decades?). Now in the last year I've been on steroids and gained some weight - I am the same person inside, just fat and bloated and tired, and I don't know when I last had a complement about how I look. I find this obsession with weight loss so bloody annoying.

This is not a criticism of your feelings, OP, just I am looking at it from a different viewpoint. I am not saying we should be 'fat and happy' or even happy being fat, but it's for us we do it really. Or it should be.