Now I'm annoyed, aibu? And best way to approach this

[wickedestwitch]

I have a short fuse and go from 0-100 quite quickly which will get me nowhere.

On Friday, ds age 5 had an accident at school, from what he's told me it was going home time, the teacher was outside, the TA in the classroom. Ds fell and smashed his mouth on the computer table, knocking his two front teeth back up into his gums and out of position. Ds was crying, another boy fetched the TA who said to ds 'oh you'll be ok'. After school club came to pick ds up, TA told after school club worker (who also said 'oh you'll be ok') he'd had a fall and he was sent on his way.

He wasn't really ok at all, I picked him up at 6 and he was in a lot of pain, teeth clearly knocked out of line, split upper lip on the inside. By Saturday morning his upper lip had ballooned and was very bruised inside and has been bleeding overnight (not sure why it bled later on not at the time).

I phoned emergency dentist Saturday morning who advised me to bring him in. They've advised that because of ds age (teeth will be coming out soon) it hopefully won't have damaged his adult teeth, and they are hopeful that the teeth will realign themselves through the pressure of his tongue and ds being a thumb sucker at night. But it will be a wait and see, we've to go back in two weeks with the possibility that the dentist will numb and try to manipulate the teeth back. Then it will be wait and hope that the adult teeth are ok.

I can't quite believe that neither school or after school club told me. I'd have expected school to apply a cold compress, ring me and send a bump note, put in accident book. But it seems they did nothing.

I went into school this morning with the intention of being very nice, just asking whether the teacher was aware of what had happened, whether it was in the accident book, just to establish what had happened. Unfortunately the teacher wouldn't see me and passed on a message to the receptionist to say that she will make up a load of excuses to cover their backs look into it.

How unreasonable am I being?

What were after school club supposed to do?

They could have kept an eye on him, given him the cold compress, called you when it become apparent that it wasn't just a little bump and it was still hurting five minutes later.

Obviously the school needs to record it, but whether it's written in a book or not doesn't actually affect that care that was given to your son. If the TA did pass the relevant information on to after school club then she has done her job, even if she didn't have time to record the accident before she was due to leave work.

Does the policy state that accidents have to be recorded immediately? If so, the the TA should have told the teacher to do it. If not, the school may allow it to be recorded the next day, or after the weekend.

She doesn't need to speak to you to find out the facts as you weren't there.

Or school could have phoned me, and I could have picked him up and ensured that he was cared for.

You can bet your backside they will be covering their arses now.

It's the same in my work place.

The facts are that ds has damage to his teeth and it happened at home, I wasn't phoned, and he wasn't sent home with a note, he wasn't given any first aid. That in itself is breaking the school policy. They are the main facts.

At school.

What are you going to do wicked

I'd have thought she'd have wanted to speak to me to establish what his injuries actually were. Before then going off and finding out what went on at the time of the incident. But hey I'm only his mother.

My child was fairly seriously injured at school and nobody treated him and nobody told me, I'm not happy, aibu? Yes you are, only on mumsnet.

I'd be furious

Afterschool club should have phoned you
Or the teaching assistant

I don't think yabu to be upset at your son being injured. I also said I thought that the TA should have done more. I just think you need to wait and speak to the teacher first and hear what she has to say before getting so worked up.

I would be really cross too, but I would wait until the end of today to see what their response was.

If they don't respond by the end of today, THEN I would be escalating things higher up the chain at the school. But if they (wrongly) didn't realise the seriousness of it on Friday I think you have to give them today to explore it more.

I know I need to wait and see, give them a chance. But unfortunately going by past experience I am preempting an unacceptable response.

I am also preempting them trying to cover their backs. And I think it would be extremely niave not to at least have that thought. I know it happens, my sister was a TA and went on to be a teacher, my sil a nursery nurse, and they've told me unfortunately these things happen all the time and it's highly likely a bump note will appear that ds 'forgot' to put in his bookbag.

That doesn't sound good. Have you thought about changing schools?

Poor DS I wonder if it had happened on any afternoon than a Friday at home time the adults would have shown more concern. Anyway, see what response if any you get from the teacher today.

Ok well, teacher phoned, she said she was aware, she was supposed to ring me Friday but had a meeting and forgot. They had told after school club (who didn't pass the message on), she said ds seemed ok, it wasn't bleeding or anything and they hadn't realised he'd damaged his teeth or was in pain they would have done more.

And are you happy with that response? It sounds like she has been honest, and confirmed your suspicion that they didn't realise how serious it was. Have they acknowledged that their own procedure wasn't followed?

I'm happy in as far as that it seems it was human error and that at the time they believed it was just a bump/he seemed ok at the time/teacher forgot to phone.

Even at the point of speaking to me today she didn't realise he'd damaged his teeth, she sounded quite shocked when I mentioned that. So the message hadn't been passed on.

She explained to me what had happened, which was exactly as ds had said, only differences were the TA obviously had told the teacher and ds said he'd told TA his tooth had been knocked wobbly. It's possible she didn't hear/listen/thought he was overreacting.

In after school clubs defense I've established that the person who had picked him up had gone home by the time I arrived and only one member of staff was left.

Unfortunately I think it's been a case of not realising and people forgetting.