Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think dh is an arse over mh issues

36 replies

ShatzePage · 02/02/2014 20:09

Just had long phone call from my mum.she is worried my sister has pnd.Dh asks about call and I tell him.He pulls a face,says pnd is made up nonsense.I point out that he is talking shit and that I have suffered from mh issues myself as has his mum.He reiterates that the majority of folk with mh problems are just weak and need to learn to cope better.I am beyond furious and have had to leave the room.Aibu to think he is being a cunt?

OP posts:

MrsBW · 02/02/2014 20:55

Bloody hell!!

If only I'd know that when my mother suffered post natal psychosis (at the far end of the PND spectrum).

How much easier life would have been had I known it was all in my/her head!!

35 years of an illness that has reverberated through all these years and affected every member of my family. So much so, I'm electing not to have birth children because even a 10% risk of my children having a mother with the same illness my mother has is too much.

How much easier life would have been if I'd known it was all bollocks.

MrsBW · 02/02/2014 20:59

P.S. I hope your sister is ok.

CaptainGrinch · 02/02/2014 21:08

He's hardly being "a cunt" is he really?

Some people don't experience crushing self-doubt, worry or self-hatred. They have a problem, deal with it & then carry on living without the need to constantly revisit it in their heads.

He's probably one of these - just because he can't immediately relate to your feelings, it doesn't evoke "cuntishness" any more than it'd mean you & your sister are cunts for experiencing the issues in the first place.

Live & let live and all that....

madasa · 02/02/2014 21:15

I work with people with mh issues....not one of them is 'weak'.

scottishmummy · 02/02/2014 21:19

You know what people with mental health issues are courageous,every day they live with stigma,misinformation and the what ifs mental illness brings

Shahinka86 · 02/02/2014 21:46

I am quite flippant with mh ( 9 years experience in work) but having suffered pnd myself it is completely different as it not only involves the safety of yourself but the safety of your off spring! Pnd is a subject that can vary in many different ways than your ordinary depression! And to be fair, affects men and women!

following · 02/02/2014 21:55

i wouldnt say he was a cunt , he just doesnt understand , i dont think anyone understands most peoples problems unless they have actually had/suffered from them .

pointythings · 02/02/2014 22:13

Some people don't experience crushing self-doubt, worry or self-hatred. They have a problem, deal with it & then carry on living without the need to constantly revisit it in their heads.

Yes, but there is a human trait called empathy, and people like the OP's 'D'H seem sadly lacking in it. You could describe me in the exact terms above, but that doesn't mean I consider myself 'stronger' than other people - I am just wired that way. And I am so glad my DH has finally started taking antidepressants because he needs them, and him taking them will make his life and the life of our entire family better.

It's perfectly possible to be able to deal with life's shit without being a cold judgemental heartless ignorant bastard about people who need help to do so.

falulahthecat · 02/02/2014 22:45

I would just calmly tell him that he is extremely lucky to think that way, because that must mean he's never felt hopeless for 'no reason', has never felt like he's in a black hole with no way out, has never felt like no one can possibly help him or understand what he is feeling and that he is completely alone in the world and unable to cope.

...then poke him in the eye for being a cunt.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/02/2014 23:04

Would he be equally dismissive of those service men and women or those in dangerous highly stressful occupations who suffer with PTSD? 'Experts' thought for years only cowards shunning further exposure to horrors would display that kind of distress. If a MH issue only exists in their heads and it is purely a matter of getting on with life, how simple to recover and get back to normal.

YANBU OP, take care.

LostInWales · 02/02/2014 23:11

There was a nice article in The Times today where David Beckham talked about how building lego really helped with his anxiety, he has also spoken about living with his OCD in the past. Would your DH tell him he was weak and needed to learn to cope better?

I hope you can talk to him OP, I have a family who see mental health problems as weakness and people should just 'pull their socks up' and they would be fine. It's hard and frustrating trying to get someone to pull their head out of the sand and actually think.

Flip

1 2