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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find getting DD to give up dummy very hard :-(

44 replies

MrsSeanBean1 · 02/02/2014 13:39

DD has had a dummy since she was born. I have it her originally to help prevent cot death and then she became very attached to it. She gave it up in the day before she was 18 months and has had it just for naps and at night for the last 6 months.

She had her 2nd birthday last week and has been showing less interest in her dummy and more in her cuddly toys when going to bed. She has a slight overbite already (inherited from me) and she also has speech delay. I have been reassured that the dummy has not caused either of these things but that it won't help so have been encouraged to get rid of it by the dentist, SALT and HV.

We decided to bite the bullet last night. It went very well. She normally sleeps 7pm-7am with no trouble going to or staying in bed. Last night she searched for her dummy for about half an hour, cried for 5 mins then went to sleep half an hour later.

However, the nap she is currently having is not going well at all. She has been crying for over half an hour, making herself cough etc. I have been in once to resettle her but it made her worse. It's breaking my heart as I've never left her to cry before.

Should I just accept she's not ready to give it up or persevere? My husband says to be strong for a few days and it will all be over with but I'm finding it very upsetting. Maybe I should wait until she's older and I can explain where her dummy has gone.

Any advice?

OP posts:

Lorialet · 02/02/2014 20:18

DS was 4 when he gave up his dummy. He was sick one night and we said it was because the dummy had germs, and he never went near it again!

Zamboni · 02/02/2014 20:28

We have just done this the week before DD turned 3. The first 48 hours were hard lots of requests for them back, despite her being a willing participant in the dummy swop for a new toy. A week later and she has stopped asking. Good luck !

wyldchyld · 02/02/2014 20:40

My mum managed to stop my sister having a dummy when we believed nothing ever would. She bought her a fairy Barbie which DSis had been begging for for ages. She then had the conversation with DSis about her being too old for the dummy and that she needed to give it to the fairies to take to the poor babies who were poor and didn't have a nice dummy to make them feel okay. DSis agreed to this and gave over the dummy and received the Barbie which the fairies had left as a present. When she howled the place down, Mum gave her the dummy back - but put Barbie on top of the wardrobe, in full sight of DSis but far out of reach. DSis gave the dummy back in ten minutes flat and that was that.

Several years late, DSis also helped DF "grow" a new swing to replace our broken one which she adored using magic swing seeds overnight. She's now at uni and still talks about growing a swing!

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2014 22:26

You've started so don't stop now

Take a few days but worth it

Dummies do ruin teeth and sometimes effect speech

Dentists always mention dummies and to get rid of them

Dummies are good for prevention of cot death but best to get rid of by. YEar if not earlier

Keep up the good work :)

2kidsintow · 02/02/2014 22:29

We told DD1 that when you got to be a big girl, dummies didn't taste nice anymore. Then we dipped them all in diluted anti-nail biting solution. (It had this use on the label of the bottle - we didn't make it up).

She voluntarily threw them away one by one. :)

Mouthfulofquiz · 02/02/2014 22:31

My mum persuaded my 18 month old brother to give his dummy to another little boy who didn't have one, (via the post box of course!!) and then gave him a present for being so big and kind. It really worked for him, he felt quite proud of himself and pleased with his present too!

thegreylady · 02/02/2014 22:32

Better a dummy than sucking a thumb :)

princessalbert · 02/02/2014 22:34

Ds had his dummy until he was 3. It didn't bother me - I would rather a dummy than a thumb in his mouth.

One of his nursery friends 'recycled' his. I think they had been doing a topic on recycling in nursery so they knew about bottle bins.. ??

So, we discussed 'recycling' DS's dummy/dummies too. Set a day for it and posted them in the bottle bin. My apologies to the local authority recycling workers!

He was fine without - as he was old enough to understand what had happened. Sleep was a bit iffy the first night, but not so bad.

ProfessorSkullyMental · 02/02/2014 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imip · 02/02/2014 22:39

My dd voluntarily gave up her dummy at 3.4 years in exchange for a scooter! It was very easy.

We had restricted the dummy to bed time only since she was about 1.5 I guess.

I'd probably just wait, saves stress for everyone....

Katekate77 · 02/02/2014 22:43

Similarly to other posters, my dummies were left for Santa in exchange for a pressie of my choice. I think I asked for a pet hamster and all the trimmings, to my mum's horror!!!

My mum says it worked a treat. Good luck

BrianTheMole · 02/02/2014 22:46

It took a week of the tears for my dd. you have a good reason to do it now, so stick with it.

Original poster

MrsSeanBean1 · 02/02/2014 22:48

Well, I was dreading tonight but the bedtime routine went great. I let her take lots of teddies to bed but we still had 5 mins of howling when I shut the door. She then fidgeted and whinged (not even crying) for about half an hour and then went to sleep. All still quiet

The night times seem better than nap time, which has surprised me but maybe she is more tired at night.

Oh well, tomorrow nap time next!

Thanks so much for your support everyone. DH is as supportive as he can be but DD's crying doesn't affect him like it does me x

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsSeanBean1 · 02/02/2014 22:49

I am due with number 2 in 2 weeks so I'm really hoping to crack this dummy situation by then!

OP posts:

UseHerName · 02/02/2014 23:07

I had mine til I was 8.. you woulda had to prise it from my cold dead fingers

then I just lost the high i used to get from it and gave it up voluntarily

missymayhemsmum · 02/02/2014 23:19

My niece was persuaded to send her dummies to santa.. and got a thank you letter back! She was a bit older though

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/02/2014 23:03

Well done, OP, sounds like it is probably the right time to do it if she doesn't appear too traumatised.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/02/2014 00:00

We went for a combo of broken soothers and a massive Elmo toy. It broke my heart, though.

MistressDeeCee · 04/02/2014 01:44

At 3 my youngest DD still wouldnt give up the dummy. Bought her a book called 'The Last Noo Noo' really lovely story about giving up dummies! We read it together every evening whilst I slowly weaned her off dummy, and that was that. Worked really well.

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