to ask what was the most annoying book you have ever ploughed through?

[pandarific]

I am reading Her Fearful Symmetry for bookclub and I'm a fifth of the way through and hating it. It is just striking me as very cutesy and mimsy wimsy and I have eyerolled so many times in the past 100 pages. (Children, in 2010, in London, happily playing croquet - really? Oh and then there's a ghost. And some creepy twins! Great.)

It wouldn't be so bad, but the fecking thing is 500 pages long.

I know it's a matter of taste as the author's books are massive bestsellers. And I may be being unfair as I seem to just really dislike magical realism in general. And I am open to reading all kinds of different books (last one A Game of Thrones, before that The Kite Runner), and anyway, half the point of a bookclub is to read things you wouldn't pick for yourself. But but. The salesperson at Waterstones even went on about how great it was when I was buying it, ffs! Waaah, boo, disappointment, 500 pages of life wasted etc.

Anyway, I definitely will finish it as it's only fair to give it a real chance, and I will try not to BU and judge so quickly, but I have to ask - what books have you made yourself finish, bookclub or no, that you've hated?

snails, Just speaking for myself, but I am thinking of a particular scene that I know is in the book.

That is the reason I won't read it, whether it's cartoonish violence or not, as I know that once you have read something, you can't unread it.

Kazuo ishiguro, the unconsoled

Not a clue what it was about. Took weeks to read. Still none the wiser. Love all his other books!

And the Phil Collins of course.. .

I've seen the film, which I think concentrated on the satire aspect and left out much of the more graphic violence.

The English Patient - dull until the flashbacks, then both dull and annoying. I skipped ahead to the ending once I'd lost the will to keep reading, just in case there'd be some twist, or major reveal. No, still dull monotony. I cried because I was so very pissed off I'd wasted so many hours on it.

And Tess of the D'Urbervilles for the unrelenting misery.

Robinson Crusoe - the only book i've given up on, and i've read a LOT of books!

Holy feck it was boring.....

I haven't scrolled through the whole thread to see if there are any MN kindred spirits, but I HATED The Pilots Wife or anything by Anita Shrieve. Novels by numbers written by someone who googles their real life locations. Dull similies everywhere

Couldn't stand the Lemony Snicket books. I read them to my DCs so I felt obliged to finish them. They weren't stories so much as a list of bad things....and then they nearly drowned, and then they nearly got run over, and then they got locked in a cupboard......yawn, yawn There was no story or character development. It least they were boring enough to make the kids to feel sleepy.

Bridget Jones's Diary.

Lord of the Flies, at school - hated it.

I resisted adding LofTFs as the thought of it makes want to type, many many swear words.

Oh flippinada, me too re that Caitlin Moran travesty. Similar in that I too had it recommended by a friend and I hated it so much we fell out over it.

All that rubbish about how Lady Gaga is a feminist icon like no other pop star before her...would that be the Lady Gaga with whom Moran had previously conducted a lengthy journalism-award-winning interview? She couldn't possibly be a teeny bit biased, could she?

LindaMcCartneySausage I read The Red Tent by Shrieve and can remember literally nothing about it. Not the plot, not the characters, not the ending...nada. Zip. Zilch.

I didn't finish:

Gone with the Wind (twice and over half way on one if those occasions)
The Crimson Petal and the White - 'clever' narratives piss me off. I did give up after reading the first 500 pages if the bloody 800 pages.

I do like Hardy, Dickens and like Love in the Time if Cholera and love Captain Corelli and all his other books but I attempted Corelli a couple if times before I loved it - laughed cried got angry.

I offer books I did finish but wish I hadn't:
White teeth
Brick lane - I felt like poking my eyes out
The Great Gatsby and Benjamin Button and the Jazz Age stories - fab American writers like Fitzgerald
Little Women - sorry just so twee, boring and they were all so annoying.

I loved "Gone with the wind" I read it in a weekend when I was about 15. The Librarian at school said "you will never read all that"

I loved the Little Women stories too and have just put The great gatsby onto my kindle to read again but I am massively attracted to the "Jazz Age"

Heh....I maintain a diplomatic silence on the subject of Caitlin Moran. My friend thinks she's the bees knees.

Me & You by Claudia Carroll, I know of no other author who continually writes books where they use v constantly instead of very, horrible writing aside, I can't stand how all the characters are always perfect & flawless, no one is like that in real life.

The Real Katie Lavender by Erica James - thought the way the lead female revealed herself to long lost father was utterly selfish & just not something a sensible person would do in real life.

Sense & sensibility by Joanna Trollope - no. Just no. Jane Austen must be turning in her grave.

50 Shades of Grey - pathetic badly written porn (about as sexy as Bernard manning).

Oh yes and anything by Caitlin Moran - just shut the fuck up already, no one wants to hear about your first period... Yuck!!!

The God of Small Things is one of my all time favourite books . I never reread a book even if I've enjoyed it however I've read this twice!

I loved the descriptions and felt I could smell, feel, sense everything! It did take a while to grasp the flow of her writing style though.

I've also tried to read Anna Karenina twice and failed at a similar stage each time.

50 Shades is just embarrassing and try-hard.

Great Expectations, bored the pants off me

Catcher in the Rye was just odd, kept waiting for something to happen.

I read Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina in my late teens, loved both books and was hugely sympathetic to Emma and Anna.

I re-read both of them in my mid thirties when I was the mother of a small child and wanted to slap the pair of them. Silly, shallow, vain and spoilt women neither of whom deserved their long suffering spouses.

Perfect by Rachel Joyce. Wanted to slap that boy hard. Gave up.

We need to talk about Kevin. I was pregnant when I read this so it may have clouded my judgement slightly, but the description of a young Kevin freaked me out, and it's the only book I've ever thrown away.
The best exotic marigold hotel. This has the dubious honour of being the only book I've hated whilst loving the film! The book was nothing like the film, and I wish I hadn't bothered reading it!
The grapes of wrath. I finished this but I seriously struggled with it. Couldn't remember characters, plot lines, nada. Really couldn't get into it at all

Well done to whoever mentioned By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept. Utter, utter shite. So you're in a love triangle? Go and tell someone who cares! I want those two hours back.

There was someone (maybe Eric Morecambe?) who was asked if, looking back, they had any regrets, what they'd do differently if they had their time again... and the answer was 'I wouldn't read The Magus by John Fowles'. Summed it up perfectly for me.

The pearl lowe autobiography. Ugh. Shoulda just meditated or sommat instead