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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so pissed off with flakey friend?

23 replies

muminthecity · 01/02/2014 21:09

It's his birthday today. He sent me a text on Tuesday saying that he would be going out for a few drinks tonight and really wanted me to come. I said I wasn't sure I'd be able to get a babysitter but I'd try. He reiterated that he really wanted me there, and that it would mean a lot to him.

The following day, I arranged for my sister to babysit. I travelled to my sister's today in the rain to drop DD off and arranged to collect her early tomorrow morning as my sister has plans. Whilst there, I received a text from my friend (this was at 6pm) telling me where to meet him and at what time (8pm.) I replied that I was leaving my sister's now to go home and get ready.

20 minutes later, while I was on my way home, he sent me another text to say that, actually, he was still really hungover from last night and didn't feel well enough to go out after all Hmm. I am so annoyed! Surely he knew 20 minutes earlier, when he sent the original text, that he wasn't feeling well? AIBU to not bother making plans with him again? He doesn't seem bothered that I have been let down and inconvenienced because of him.

OP posts:
smallandimperfectlyformed · 01/02/2014 21:12

That is so rude, what an arse he was! Hope you have a nice evening anyway. I'm sorry for saying this, but I think he probably got (in his mind, no disrespect to you) a better offer.

Original poster
muminthecity · 01/02/2014 21:22

That's the thing though, I wasn't even that bothered about going, it was him that was so insistent! It wasn't going to be just the two of us, lots of other friends of his were supposed to be there. Just seems like such a big change of plans in such a short space of time! Argh, I'm so annoyed!

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 01/02/2014 21:28

YANBU, especially since he was so insistent and knew you would have to get a babysitter. I certainly wouldn't be available next time he wanted to arrange something, only see him if it's convenient for you.

LessMissAbs · 01/02/2014 21:33

YANBU. Flakey people are so frustrating. Very, very rude of him.

mrsjay · 01/02/2014 21:43

flakey is just another word for selfish and incosiderate they do my nut in poor you id give him a mouthful and distance myself tbh

duvetheaven · 01/02/2014 21:45

Sack him as a friend.

overmydeadbody · 01/02/2014 21:47

YANBU

I was let down today by a flakey friend too, even though I had already rearranged numerous times and they insisted today would work for them. My whole weekend had to be changed and re-arranged around this friend, so frustrating.

Original poster
muminthecity · 01/02/2014 22:04

It's just so bloody inconsiderate, isn't it? I've had a few sorry texts, the last one said "can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" I replied "No, not really. Happy Birthday." Don't think I'll bother with him anymore, tbh.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 02/02/2014 09:34

oh find it in your heart god sake how manipulative of him has he always been like this . your reply was direct and to the point good for you

Original poster
muminthecity · 02/02/2014 10:31

Thanks mrsjay, he's always been, shall we say, a bit over-dramatic, and a bit selfish. I've always given in to him in the past and let things go, but I'm not going to anymore.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 02/02/2014 10:32

he sounds over dramtic and selfish and if people let him away with it he will keep doing it,

mrsjay · 02/02/2014 10:33

my husbands friend is like that I cant stand it but because my husband has known him since he was born (they were neighbours) he says aww he is just x y z bugger off he is 32 he cant treat you like that

sarahquilt · 02/02/2014 10:40

Definitely YANBU. I know people like this. The best tactic is to be fairly cool with him. If he asks you to come out again, firmly explain that he can't just cancel on a whim because you need to get a babysitter etc.

eddielizzard · 02/02/2014 11:57

good for you. see, he won't actually stop doing this until he realises he's losing friends and he'd better shape up. a hard lesson but he's got to learn it.

Original poster
muminthecity · 02/02/2014 12:57

Thank you, I am quite pleased with myself for calling him out on his thoughtless selfishness. I am often a bit of a pushover tbh, I do tend to let people get away with treating me badly, to avoid confrontation. I have decided my belated new year's resolution is to be more assertive and not let people walk all over me anymore.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 02/02/2014 19:18

Glad you told him what you thought.

MammaTJ · 02/02/2014 19:25

I love your reply to the drama lama text asking if you can find it in your heart to forgive him! Perfect, well done!

bodygoingsouth · 02/02/2014 19:40

what a knob!!

expatinscotland · 02/02/2014 19:44

Blow him off from now on.

eddielizzard · 02/02/2014 20:23

has he responded to your brilliantly worded text?

Original poster
muminthecity · 02/02/2014 21:23

Yes, he replied saying ''nooooo, don't be like that (sad face).' I ignored it and haven't heard anything since. Will definitely be distancing myself from now on.

OP posts:
WanderingAway · 02/02/2014 22:34

Loved your reply Grin

mrsjay · 03/02/2014 10:20

I love his extended noo, your reply was probably like a dagger through his heart or some such rubbish Grin

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