To not want to take Ds swimming?

[extremepie]

Ds2 has ASD, he has a statement and a 1:1 worker while he is in school.

A few weeks ago I was told that his year group are starting swimming and that I would need to go with to 'see how he does'. They also told me that if I go with Ds then his 1:1 TA can go with another group of children and they can avoid taking another adult with.

AIBU to be pissed off that they, essentially, want to use me as a free TA?

I'm not working at the moment so feel like I have no grounds to refuse and I can't claim to be busy at work and feel like I don't have a good reason to say no other than it is not my job to look after him when he's in school! They get extra money to pay for a 1:1 specifically for him and yet she isn't going to be looking after him - its not in school but it's school hours surely they should be doing it?

I am a single parent with no respite and no family help so I look after him 99.999999% of the time when he isn't in school why should I be expected to do it when he is? School time is my only 'me' time at the moment!

They have also said I have to go with on their school trip to Eden project in 2 weeks time and that I have to keep him off school on 14th because his 1:1 is on a course and there's no one else to have him! AIBU to think they are massively taking the piss and expecting me to do way more than the average parent?

YY to that

Then you need to arrange a meeting with the HT, the teacher and the SenCo to sort out what they are proposing to do.

Go through his IEP (I assume he has one) with a fine toothcomb and discuss each point with them. They seem to be failing him.

Maybe post on the SN board (if you haven't already) as they will be full of advice for how you can get your DS what he needs.

I would write down what they have said to you and then query it in an email so you have a paper trail - maybe ask them to clarify what will happen if you can't come swimming? Then if you get no joy I would contact Parent Partnership and see if they can help.

And what DSS just said!

Am also lone parent of child with ASD - school is my respite, one of my great fears is that I will end up having to home ed her and that really will do for me!

extreme and desperately dont listen to the voice of the minority, you know what you do. Most people with NT children relish the break is gives them if only to get the minutiae of life sorted out

Sorry, but this sounds like a school blatantly taking advantage of you to get a "free" TA when they need one. Not on.

Our school has a bank of parent volunteers with the appropriate checks to help out with trips and things, perhaps you could suggest that to your school too?

Please complain. I also think they are failing your son. Quite shockingly in fact.

Just a thought, is there a better or more specialist school he could go to instead? Or do you have to make this school work no matter what?

They are being unreasonable and taking advantage and exactly what desperatelyseekingsanity said.

OP I remember yr other threads about your problems with the school and I have posted before.
Please please take some advice from those on the SN boards or from an agency like parentpartnership. Your son is being wrongly penalised by the school whose are behaving appallingly. Yr son is entitled to attend swimming like the rest of his class-he has a full time TA to help him do things like this. School cannot decide he or s he is to take another group s we swimming.
I suggest you brazen it out by saying"yes I'm happy to go on the parent Rota for swimming. Which week do you want me to do?"

You are assuming, woowoo that he attends for a full day

Yes, I did assume that, because to be fair, it's a reasonable assumption to make when you hear about a child who has funding for a 1-1.

If they've got full time funding for him and they're only allowing him to attend school part time, then that's shocking. That suggests there are bigger issues than swimming, which it sounds like there are.

This is not acceptable at all. Your ds's 1:1 is for him only, not the other children in the class. Please go and meet with the class teacher, head and senco and ask them to clarify what the 1:1's responsibilities are.

In my dd's class there is a child with a 1:1. The 1:1 was being mismanaged and misused, and a dreadful injury happened to my dd as the statemented child was not being properly safeguarded.

I went in to the school and said that I was not happy about the circumstances that lead to the injury (nb I have no issue with the child themself, purely with the school for failing in its duties), and I wanted to see what measures were being put in place to prevent it from happening again. I was particularly vocal about the willingness of the 1:1 to help other children when they asked for help, and the need for her to override her natural helpful instincts, and remember that she is 1:1, not a general TA. This served to remind the school that they must also not have the 1:1 do other activities, and the situation improved a lot.

Fair enough woowoo!

The head teacher and the senco are one and the same :/

I always feel like the school make out as if I don't have a choice, because I'm not working I feel like they will say that since I'm free that I don't have a good reason not to go - that's really not the point though!

You don't have to go to meetings on yr own!
www.parentpartnership.org.UK
Find yr local office and contact them for advice- round here they will send someone to mtgs with you. You need to sort t his mess out- but unless you start acting on the advice you are being given on here I'm afraid school will continue to bully you. Time to stand up to them

Very true snice, I do need to stand up to them just worried about rocking the boat and pissing the school off, for a long time I haven't really had the physical or mental energy to fight them with moving hours next week and a whole load of other things but I think now is the time to get on top of it as it seems they are adding something new they want me to do all the time!