My dd is 15.She has met a boy and since getting to know him we have found out that he had vtraumatic early years.He was then adopted having been removed from birth family.
He seems very sweet,is helpful.He also tells significant lies such as re schooll ,his health - made up illnessess, etc to get attenton I think, and many other things .His parents have told us that he does this and that it has affected them for some time.
Dd wants to give him a chance to improve but he cant do this alone and is going to have proffesional support.
Other dc in our home fel very uncomfortable with him due to untruths.He can also come accross as arogant - which i think is low esteem-and they feel that as he has lied significantly ,which has affected dd,we should make her top seeing him
.My view is that i have to make dd priority ultimately- but that we dont just reject people. Alongside this - this is a lot for a young girl to take n and he is troubled . I am worried as am I not protecting our dd.I did think of asking her to stop seeing him but she does not want that .
I have thought about limitng him comming to our house but being kind and supportive wen he does.I will have no idea what is true and what isnt.I Have spoke to him about it and been as gentle as posible whilst saying that he needs to think about the impact of significant lies may have on dd and to try and think about her if he can . I think due to this own pain he has not thouht of her but himself so i was trying to encorage him to see the other side of things.
I have never dealt with anything like this before and my ds said he thinks that i may be being weak to allow this relationshio but i dont want to be unkind and importantly he may be more attractive if banned!!!!!!!!!!