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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this was a little rude.

62 replies

coolcookie · 31/01/2014 09:47

A friend posted on facebook that she had just completed her tax return.other friends posted the usual. Yeah sell done or I've done mine too etc. Her dp posted something like " I don't know why people don't complete threm in April. Doing it now means extra work for me at this time of the year". I felt this was a little rude and unsupportive. Friend has 4 young dc and runs a small business part time with no regular childcare. Aibu

OP posts:

fab84 · 31/01/2014 10:17

I get where your friend is coming from. Doing any sort of admin with young children is hard. I too struggle to get mine done. I usually get it done by December.
As I have a partner who overposts onFacebook I do get what you mean.
I guess I just feel that if you can't say something positive than don't say it. Of course he is right that it is best not to leave it to the last minute though.

CoffeeTea103 · 31/01/2014 10:17

No it's not rude. Not even sure why you would post about this. To achieve what?

DomesticDisgrace · 31/01/2014 10:17

I don't think that's rude at all!!

HaroldLloyd · 31/01/2014 10:18

Not rude and confused about how it's a slight on people with small businesses & children? I'd take it as exasperated accountant type humour.

pictish · 31/01/2014 10:23

I guess I just feel that if you can't say something positive than don't say it.
Why? Are we all such delicate flowers that our petals will wilt at the first hint of someone not thinking we are wonderful?

He's an accountant, and has his own take on this...and guess what? He is allowed to be annoyed that his workload increases through the inaction of others! He doesn't actually have to hide that fact does he, lest the snowdrop droop?

Come on!

Songofsixpence · 31/01/2014 10:23

He's right though

I'm guilty of leaving it until the last minute too, I'm the biggest procrastinator ever and if I'm given a deadline, I'll put it off and put it off until the deadline is imminent

I keep my books up to date every week and I know there won't be any surprises, so I should be able to get the tax return in early, it just never seems to happen though - although I got mine in before Christmas this year, which is unheard of for me

Wabbitty · 31/01/2014 10:25

InternetFOREVER you will still have until January to pay no matter when you submit it

DaffodilShoots · 31/01/2014 10:31

Isn't it a bit undermining of a person's partner to post this on a public site? It's not going to contribute to family harmony is it?

InternetFOREVER · 31/01/2014 10:31

OK, in that case his FB post was really good advice :-)

pictish · 31/01/2014 10:32

Not particularly. He has probably said it to her already.
As an accountant, it will be his point of view, and I think that's ok.

DaffodilShoots · 31/01/2014 10:36

He sounds like an accountancy bore then! I'm determined not to approve of him as I'm a terrible procrastinator.

fab84 · 31/01/2014 10:50

Maybe rather than winge about it he could maybe offer to take children out for an hour so she can get it done. Or as he is an accountant maybe he could help her. I guess you won't know op if he does this.

DaffodilShoots · 31/01/2014 10:54

hear, hear fab84.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2014 10:58

I don't think they're his kids?

I understood it that the accountant was the DP of the woman who said 'well done'.

I might be confused though

Original poster

coolcookie · 31/01/2014 11:11

Hi. Sorry they are his kids. They have been together for ages but never got married. I think she has been doing tax return and other admin when baby naps or on Sundays when he is around. He is out most Saturdays. Business done on the golf corse you knowdaft thing is in the early days baby had horrendous colic. So doing a tax return would have been the last thing on her mind.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2014 11:15

Well I don't understand why he doesn't look after the kids then and give her a couple of hours to do it.

Unless he does and she still left it to the last minute.

I guess that's the thing with couples talking of FB, you don't know the ins and out of it.

austenozzy · 31/01/2014 11:15

Of course it's not rude, it's perfectly reasonable and sensible. I procrastinated (again) and had to miss out on enjoying a weekend day with my wife and daughter because I had to pull my finger out and get a load of admin shite over to my accountant. So it actually makes things harder, childcare-wise, to leave it until the last minute and spend non-work time sorting out the mess.

Not sure I have massive sympathy for the accountants, though. Never met a poor one yet... ;-)

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2014 11:15

But with regards to the tax return being the last thing on her mind, if she wants to run a business then it really shouldn't be.

DaffodilShoots · 31/01/2014 11:16

I don't like him.

WooWooOwl · 31/01/2014 11:17

I think you are reading too much in to that comment, possibly because you seem to disapprove of the way this man and his wife choose to run their family.

It just reads to me like a harmless comment from an accountant who would prefer work to be spread out over the year rather than have loads come in in January.

Stripedgingercat · 31/01/2014 11:18

He is right - I think he was just factual

pictish · 31/01/2014 11:18

Oh I like that - not only should he not have an opinion about it, but with a little tweaking, now we can speculate that her not doing it is, actually his fault!

Brilliant.

MrsOakenshield · 31/01/2014 11:21

don't see the point of him saying it - we all have times when it's busier at work and yes I'm sure we'd all love it if the work was spread out more evenly, but that's how it is. This year will be no different to any other year. If he doesn't like it maybe it's not the job for him.

I always do mine last minute (I don't actually earn enough to pay tax and it's very straightforward) and after reading this I shall make an effort to carry on doing so in future.

What a knob he sounds.

Original poster

coolcookie · 31/01/2014 11:21

She was on maternity leave in april.

OP posts:

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 31/01/2014 11:22

If she hasnt had time then she wouldnt have had time to do it yesterday. She did have time, she just chose to do other things with that time until she couldnt put it off any longer. She could have found the same time in april or august or november.

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