To hate waking up in the morning.

[HadABadDay2014]

I just know every day is going to be the same.

I am not coping with my DC and I feel like there is no fun, i am alway shouting or putting the kids on the thinking spot. My house is always a tip where DD pulls everything out. I am on constant watch for my DS. DH is never home during the week due to work.

I just feel like I am losing my mind.

It's got the point where I question my judgement in having children, because I feel like a rubbish mother.

Don't think too much. Give yourself a reward for getting through the day. Things can get better.

OP You are not losing your mind, you're having a rough time. You may want to post in the mental health or parents sections to get higher traffic and help from those going through the same. I find that helps enormously :)

have you been to see your GP?

I was just going to ask that, I went on Tuesday for much the same reasons (losing my temper, lack of interest in anything, not coping with DD and feeling like a crap mum). He prescribed antidepressants, I have a referral for talking therapies, and I spoke to my husband about how I'm feeling. I already feel a lot better than I did, even though it's too early for the anti-ds to be working fully, I think just knowing that I've made some changes is making me feel more positive.

I opened your thread because I identified completely with your title and then your op. Go to the gp; I did and it made a huge difference. Go and get some help

Ditto here. Mornings very first thing and bath time onwards at night are my flash points.

DH never home. A 4yo and a 2yo. The big one is going thru a phase of not listening and not doing what she is sold. Grrr. The little one copies and says "no" to absolutely everything.

Getting the big one to school on time is a daily challenge.

By the time I drop the big one at school I feel like I've been in Whacky Races and not in a good or a fun way.

At bedtime/bath time the small one acts up and often wails solidly from 5:30pm till he passes out just before 7.

Don't know what your DH is like but mine makes sure he leaves just before the DC get up and he is never ever home until they are asleep. At weekends he is useless. Huffs and puffs if he has to look after them and then just shouts at them.

Is how I feel and I bet you feel like that too.

And you're doing a stand up job btw!! And have a and some later.
((((Hugs))))

You are not alone OP. I have 2 DC, the eldest is almost 3, the youngest is 18 months. They are generally very well behaved but it is testing.

I feel like I am fighting a losing battle some days - working pt, trying to get them to nursery in the mornings, keeping on top of the housework and washing (eldest is potty training), plus everything else just takes absolutely every little bit of me that I have to give. It's exhausting.

I am trying to tell myself that ANYONE would be challenged by this situation - there are no shortcuts in parenting, it's just a hard slog (especially at the beginning I'm told!)

I have just come off anti-d's myself and still have bad days or periods of feeling well out of my depth. At the moment what's getting me through is work (no really - not being 'just' a mum for a few hours is lovely), and treating myself to some Kindle time and a glass of wine most nights when they're in bed.

You are doing a brilliant job, get to the GPs and tell them how you're feeling, speak to your family and friends and see if there's anyone willing to give you some respite and look after yourself.

I also find what helps is not spending full days at home unless it's absolutely unavoidable. I always feel worse at home - we all get stir crazy. Somehow being out is easier.

Also, (and this might be controversial) but I do let my two watch TV, and I have a cup of tea and mumsnet for 10 minutes whilst they're engrossed in Ben and Holly. I do that a couple of times a day and have a quick breather.

Totally agree with work! Going back part time gave me structure back jn my life which I needed. Appreciate it's not always possible (I got pnd during my year off on mat leave with dc2). I'm now on leave again with dc3 and so far so good but I know what to look out for and how to avoid triggers. Routine and getting out of the house every single day are vital. Signing up for classes and paying in advance so I can't just say "today I can't be bothered".

It's hard. Hugs

Oh and yes to the tv! I no longer feel an ounce of guilt about this.