To want dp's parents to stop thinking everything is theirs?!

[babybearsmummy]

We're decorating our living room at the moment and have decided to get new furniture too, but to help fund it we've had to sell our old furniture at the same time.

Every time time I post something for sale on our local Facebook selling page or Gumtree, they'll call us within seconds to say they want it... Fine you might say. But they don't want to pay for it and when we say we're selling it not giving it away, they claim it's theirs.

I'm getting so sick of having to dig out DP's old receipts for things to prove it to them and then being made to feel bad because we 'won't let the have it' even when we've said they can have it for less than we have asked for.

Everything from curtains, our spare laptop, a filing cabinet etc they've had a fit at. O.H has given in a few times but it's just driving me insane. What do I do?!

Hide them from seeing your updates.

They're not struggling money wise as they can pop out and splash out in excess of £50 every week, sometimes more often.

I wouldn't say they're hoarders as the know they don't have room for stuff and they don't like clutter.

I don't know what it is, it just seems that whenever we get something or get rid of something, they HAVE to have it.

I'll rule out dementia too as they're both mentality stable outside of this issue and they're both under 50 so they're not loosing their marbles just yet in my eyes!

Thank you all for the advice though. (DP is strict with them too!)

If you know you don't have anything of theirs in the house I'd use that as the broken record sentence.

I'd also laugh and make light of their ridiculousness while inwardly hoping they would stop.

Have them sectioned.

Use a closed fb group they aren't members of, then they shouldn't see the ad.

Do they think they 'own' your DH therefore all of his stuff defaults to them? My dad was like this with me till i married my second H - and he tried it at the beginning then too. I had to be firm. Every time he sees me he makes a comment about something i own and says 'that's mine no doubt' as if i've stolen it from him and then when i explain how i came upon this item, he raises eyebrows in a 'chinny reckon' face. He also thinks if he gave me one thing years ago, everything remotely similar i own is his for the taking. If my mum gives me anything he flies into a rage shouting 'how do you know i don't want it' or 'oh that's nice, the old man gets nothing' even if it's something like the old chicken carcass to make stock from. It was a real problem growing up. 'That's mine' is usually out of his mouth before he even knows what it is. It's all very embarrassing really for him.

If your DP is strict with them then let him deal with them. I really would refuse to discuss this with them since you've tried and they won't listen.

I like Nenny's idea.

Another strategy is to say you're selling things for a friend so obviously you can't give them someone else's property.

You can set specific posts to be hidden from specific people. Hide them and any other rellies from these posts.

Wow, you dad sounds like hard work MrsKoala.

What can you do in the face of such unreasonableness but set up defined boundaries and stick to them really? Repeat, repeat, repeat. Bizarre.

FixitUp - yes, i do like my dad, but he's basically a toddler in a mansuit. I accept his limitations and set up firm boundaries.

OP i do think either registering as a different name if you can is a good idea. And defo the broken record and then don't engage. i feel getting out proof is kind of playing their game. Just dismiss it as ridiculous.

'That's mine' is usually out of his mouth before he even knows what it is. It's all very embarrassing really for him.

I had a friend like that at school. She'd see something at my house (a CD for example) and pounce on it shouting,

"That's MY CD."

Never occurred to her that CD manufacturers generally make more than one copy of each CD.

Or that teenage friends who spent most of their time together might just have similar taste in music.

MrsKoala, you were, and are, not only, in having a father like that My Dad's particular obsession was pens, pencils, erasers, etc. Obsessed that if anyone was using, or had in their possession, a biro, that they had 'stolen' it from his desk. Ironically, he used to steal them from our bedrooms, satchels, Mum's handbag, etc., claiming he was 'taking them back'. I told him once that I was going to lay out a selection of Bic biros on the front pew at his funeral, then leave before it began.

It's not just pens, though, he's almost as bad with everything else, mind. Sigh.