to reject an offer of employment

[manchestermummy]

I was offered a job about an hour ago. I was surprised as I didn't think my interview went at all well. I have moments of disliking my current job intensly but the whole set up works well for us - I'm part-time, generous leave, flexitime, a good amount of autonomy etc. plus I'm entering management territory (I am being very well supported) which I am relishing. While there's little or progression here, there is very good potential for progression in other similar organisations. In short, I think I can go on with my career.

I thought I wanted the job, but when I started to think about it, I realised I didn't. In fact I wanted not to be offered the job. It's more hours but term time only which will be great, but the salary in terms of the extra I'd be doing won't cover the extra childcare which I would need or the extra transport costs which I will incur. Besides this, there's no progression. I'd be 'at the top' as it were: I know that after a couple of years I'd want more and yes, I do mean money as well as opportunities. I'd have to rearrange all the various things my DC do and I would struggle to help with homework etc.

After a heart-to-heart with my DH least night I decided I wouldn't take it if I was offered it. I feel terrible. I feel I have wasted everyone's time (my own included) and my mother, who told me it wasn't enough money, is right .

I have yet to formally reject the offer but I will later today. I am being unreasonable? Are my reasons for not wanting this job valid?

I feel ill.

Of course your reasons are valid. You applied for the job, you thought you wanted it, now you feel its not right.

The only time I'd ever say someone was 'wrong' to reject an offer of employment would be if they desperately needed a job and there was no good reason why the one on offer wasn't feasible.

Of course not one of the points of an interview is to find out if you actually want it. You thought you did but you don't, end of. and give them a call

I mean of course yanbu...

Thank you. I feel such a fool. I actually cried last night when I thought of the impact it would have on our family. In fact, my eyes are filling up now, which is not good when one is a work in a busy communal office.

It's annoying when mothers are right, but you mustn't let that cloud your judgement. It sounds as if the current set up works better for you and your family. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

You would be unreasonable to accept the job offer thus depriving somebody else of the opportunity. So you are doing the right thing to reject it.

I don't intend to tell her - I will just tell her I didn't get it. One of the many things she need not know!

If your current job is as fab as you say it is then I wonder why you applied for the other one? I'm not saying accept or reject the job offer but I would suggest you think back to the circumstances that led you to apply for it in the first place. That will help you make a more informed decision about this job offer.

why do you feel like a fool? Surely whenever someone applies for a job The sake could happen? Is your mum generally very critical of you?

It's not fab, far from it. But it suits our family life.

brett oh my yes indeed!

I feel like I fool because I had serious misgivings before I even went. I had a childcare nightmare to sort so I could even go and I wanted to cancel. I just hope they didn't have x number of spaces for candidates and I took someone else's place.

I think people tend to forget that interviews are a two way thing. You've had an interview, thought about the job and decided you don't want it (in the same way the employers have interviewed other candidates, thought about it and decided not to employ them). Not your fault or problem - if they've anything about them, the won't let unsuccessful candidates know until you've said yes.

Now, if you accepted the job and then changed your mind, that would be entirely different and you should be shot.

Have a cuppa, biscuit and squeeze the kids when they get home and all will be well.

You don't think it will damage my professional reputation? It's a different sector, but I am paranoid.

What Curlyweasel said - you were interviewing them as much as they were interviewing you. You're under no obligation to accept a job if you've decided it's not for you; I turned one down before simply because I knew I'd struggle to get on with the man who would have been my boss, and you have way better reasons than that. Stop worrying :).

Interviews are not just for the companies - it's as much an interview for them for you to work out if you want to work with a company! Don't forget that :) You are not obliged to feel "honoured" to have an interview.

A friend of mine turned down 3 jobs in a row - as each time she found out things about the role that she wasn't happy with. She finally found what she was looking for - no it won't damage your reputation

Okay, you've all talked me down. I will make the call when I leave work.

all round

I know that after a couple of years I'd want more

A couple of yrs is a long time in my book. And it's usually easier to get a job when you already have one. But really depends what you think you can get instead. No job is going to be perfect for you (is it?)

I don't want to make you feel more conflicted. You only have to justify this to yourself.

Hmm - I doubt it would damage your reputation.

What IS shit is when you take a job knowing you don't really want it (or want something else) and then let everyone down by leaving soon after.

You're not doing that - you're saying ... you've told me more about the job... I've thought it over... and no thanks.

THEY don't have to know your reasons. I'd say it would make you seem more professional (and a bit of a catch) myself :) xx

It's worth considering telling them why the job doesn't work for you. That essentially, you've now discussed the role with them at interview, gone home and looked at the maths and cost of additional childcare/commute etc and unfortunately it is not adding up. Thank thm for the opportunity but have a number in mind if they ask you what it would take to convince you.
If no amount of money would do it, then it would be fair to say that. Most employers will shrug and move on, it happens all the time. Really!

the only thing that would damage your reputation is if you accepted then didn't turn up on the first day. Companies don't reject other possibles until people have accepted anyway. If someone else is suitable from interview they will offer it to them instead. You really are overthinking it.

The problem here is just your mother, next time don't bother with her unwilling provision of childcare.

hassled I made it clear I didn't want one job when we were being restructured because I didn't like the bloke who interviewed me. Perfectly good reason !!!!!