Before I get flamed for concerning myself with someone else's marriage, I am concerned for this friend and we have a strong friendship as do our children.
Some of the things that have been cause for concern are these.
Husband does not let her get involved in finances. He runs the bank accounts and basically tells her when they afford something new for the house or new clothes for the kids. She has to ask if it's new clothes for herself or an extra purchase.
Husband often makes remarks like, why don't you have our children eating healthily like so and so does? Why don't you exercise like so and so? Unfavourable comparisons with other women, but he says it in a way that you're never sure if he's making a joke and sending up the other person.
Both husband and wife are very flirty with other couples when they are out. Some people have been offended by this in the past, but they see it as no big deal. It's just the way they have fun. I think my friend does it to turn on her husband.
When she was breast feeding through the night on demand, he would wake up and watch her, sit with her in bed. At first I thought how kind of him to keep her company, but she didn't like him doing it and wished he wouldn't.
She feels as though she's not quite good enough for him.