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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think children should be taught social skills, public speaking and conflict resolution at school?

117 replies

CailinDana · 29/01/2014 15:53

And that those skills and the confidence they give are just as important as academic skills, if not more so in some ways?

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 17:38

That's a good bit beyond basic public speaking MsLT - a lot of it is about effective speech writing, which is a very complicated skill.

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JugglingFromHereToThere · 29/01/2014 17:48

I agree there should be much more emphasis on all these skills from speaking and listening right through to understanding relationships and other skills for adult life too.
I've worked in schools too, including as a primary and nursery teacher -
I did what I could to value and develop these skills, within the constraints of the school system. I've also enjoyed enabling children's development in language and communication skills in pre-school settings, but though there have been some good recent initiatives in this area, I don't think communication skills are valued enough, even at this age.

hellokittymania · 29/01/2014 17:49

Honey, I grew up in the U.S, and we were taught to speak up and we often had to make speeches, give pesentations etc.

Ferret, we also had a really great program that taught us how to run a business, write cheques and do other things that have stayed with me to this day. It ended in a day "Enterprise village" a mock up of a small town with a town hall, art gallery, drugstore, bank, etc. We each had a job, got paid, had a break... It was a really great place!

paisley256 · 29/01/2014 17:53

Hi cailin-when you say you did drama did you start that as a child? My middle boy is shy and I've looked into into getting him into a drama group but round here there are only stage schools which some parents have said are very pushy and competitive which I think would hinder his confidence rather than increase it. He plays drums but is very shy about performing although he is very able. I feel at a loss as to how I can gently bring him out his shell so he doesn't end up scared of life....like me although I've got better with age!

hellokittymania · 29/01/2014 17:56

Enterprise village

Good memories Grin

I was Chamber of Commerce Director one year, art curator or something for the other.

Bea · 29/01/2014 17:57

Calling Dana. - public speaking.. Oh yes! Every evening! We have a lectern!
Of course not...
But confidence and the importance of speaking clearly and eloquently. Understanding how to converse, conduct an argument, listen to other people, discussion... Volume levels! (esp my 12 yr old!)
schools are jam packed to the brim already... Every minute is accounted for... Aspects of what you included in your op is already in the curriculum...
Conflict resolution is covered in PSHE and through RE... And I'm sure if situations arise in class any teacher worth their salt will sit pupils down and discuss!
Public speaking... Presentations, role play, assemblies, drama, explaining answers and opinions all cover this.

Bea · 29/01/2014 17:58

Whoops... CalllinDana... Flippin phone!

Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 18:01

Yeah paisley I started when I was 9. I was lucky in that it was a local class run by an excellent director who gave us the opportunity to be in big productions but didn't encourage competitiveness. In fact a lot of our training was about teamwork and cooperation. It was great, I went every week for 9 years and am still close friends with most of my classmates.

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VelvetGecko · 29/01/2014 18:11

Afaik that is all taught in schools. Saying that i personally feel it's up to parents to teach their children life skills such as conflict resolution and social skills. Too many people expect schools to teach their dc everything. It's not up to schools to 'raise' our dc for us. Ds is only 5 but i've given him lots of advice on how to handle petty squabbles already and will continue to do so as that is my job as his parent.

wigglesrock · 29/01/2014 18:12

My kids primary school does. From P3 onwards (6-7 years), they have to write a journal about something that has happened in their life, on the news, something exciting they've done & talk to the class about it every Friday. Doesn't have to be particularly long but they have to "present" it.

My P2 (she's 6), they do little plays/reimagining of nursery rhymes/ simpler stories & show the class. Each class also takes a turn doing a story/ theme for assembly every term. They write it, decide who's doing what & do it in front of the school.

I know any arguments/bickering/ niggling is dealt with in the class by those involved. The teacher is very hands off (obviously up to a point) with their disagreements.

My 8 year old does drama after school once a week. It's a free club run by one of the teachers. It's more public speaking - poems etc than acting.

Mine are just a pretty normal primary school, we're in NI.

paisley256 · 29/01/2014 18:21

That sounds great I'm going to look around for somthing similar, I hope you don't mind me saying but I'm familiar with you from your posts on other threads and you definitely did have the most awful of childhoods, the way that you talk of your confidence and 'can do' attitude is truly admirable and inspirational...a great thread.

AfricanExport · 29/01/2014 18:23

How about we just rename school to be the 'Parent Replacement Service', do away with actual education completely and just teach the children the skills that their parents can't be bothered to. ..

Or we can stop treating everyone like idiots and start expecting parents to take responsibility for their own offspring. ..

insancerre · 29/01/2014 18:27

Never heard of the EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage) op?
We teach all the pre-school children the skills you mention, at 2, 3 and 4 years old.

MiniTheMinx · 29/01/2014 18:27

Or what about encouraging children to debate. Or perhaps that would be too dangerous.

Public speaking is good and conflict resolution not sure about social skills, that's too wide as to encompass quite a lot and actually not very much at all.

Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 18:33

Mini, IME debating is a much more complex skill. Many adults struggle with it, as you can see from this thread where people resort to one line answers or personal insults rather than actually tackling the points made. Debating takes a high level of logic and a lot of adults have never studied logic, never mind children.

By "social skills" I suppose I mean more the skills you need to deal with formal situations, or new situations that you don't necessarily encounter every day, skills that parents don't often get to teach due to lack of opportunity.

Thank you paisley Thanks

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Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 18:35

I'm not sure why people think schools should teach maths but not speaking and social skills? What makes those latter things the domain of parents while the former isn't?

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SwayingBranches · 29/01/2014 19:00

My child's school that I mentioned earlier is looking to open a secondary free school with high academic standards but also teaching real world soft skills. They have done amazing at turning around a failing primary in a challenging area, keeping all the same staff. I totally support their vision for a secondary.

Some of the comments on this thread are quite strange! We're talking actual skills here. That too few people value them is a problem, especially when some are taught at private schools so they get ahead but others don't.

arabellarubberplant · 29/01/2014 19:15

Was the maths thing directed at me? If so, you missed the point spectacularly.

Maths AND social skills are taught in schools. But you have as much chance of a kid thriving in maths if they are not interested, as you do in presentation skills. There are as many kids flunking math as unable to speak in public.

And yes, we do debating in guides, too. Grin they do it at school and love it, so we have started a ten minute flash debate at the end of each meeting! with two minutes to prep their arguments.

arabellarubberplant · 29/01/2014 19:17

(I'm quite capable of missing the point spectacularly myself. A friend was dropping something off today at either 7 or 8.30. It has only just occurred to me that she meant tonight...)

ClaudiusGalen · 29/01/2014 19:17

I've never taught in a school that hasn't had the children doing public speaking. Speaking and listening used to count towards the GCSE grade in English until Gove got his hands on it. The children do group and individual presentations in my subject (History) and peer mark.

Conflict resolution is taught in PSHCE, in form through circle time and in group sessions with the school counselling service and pastoral staff for those still struggling.

Social skills are taught in every interaction a learner has with an adult in school, and more often than not during interactions with peers.

Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 19:24

Claudius, this is a genuine question, why then are so many teens, and indeed adults, so awkward in social situations, formal (like job interviews) and informal (like meeting people in a new club or toddler group)?

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Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 19:25

No the maths thing wasn't directed at you arabella.

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MsLT · 29/01/2014 19:29

How about we just rename school to be the 'Parent Replacement Service', do away with actual education completely and just teach the children the skills that their parents can't be bothered to.
:) This ^

Original poster
CailinDana · 29/01/2014 19:34

But why are only parents responsible for social skills MsLT?

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MsLT · 29/01/2014 19:35

That said, seriously OP - please google Citizenship crosscurricular KS3/4. It's massive in schools.