To hate Clearblue with a passion

[FlockOfTwats]

I need to tell someone how much i hate Clearblue. The rage I feel whenever i see that god forsaken advert is just not normal. I just don't think it's normal to hate an advert so much, and i don't believe that anyone keeps a pile of £10 a go pregnancy tests laying around to pee on incase a visitor drops by.

Please, Either share your stories advert induced rage with me, or send some form of help as i fear that i WILL murder the TV next time i hear 'I'm 1 to 2 weeks pregnant'. Who says it like that anyway?

The Knorr Stock Pot adverts.

"Well, almost as good as mine"

Fucking smug monkey fucker.

I know you guys hate The Alpha Parent, but she did a great article on Clearblue ads. Here's a copy and paste of the intro:

It’s obvious that this commercial is aimed at first time preggos; as any veteran breeder would instantly dismiss it as patronising hyperbole.

Firstly, let’s have a quick look at the aesthetics of the ad:

To start with we meet ‘Claire’. We are told by the on-screen text that she is a ‘Clearblue Expert’. I have no idea what one of those is, but they must be pretty senior because her office appears to be from the set of Star Wars and Star Trek combined.
In this Jedi office she has some phat widescreen HD TVs showing ultrasound scans. Just in case you are unfamiliar with the appearance of an ultrasound, the TVs helpfully say “SCAN” in block capitals.

DDs hate the Cillit bang one, this may be my fault!

DD1 has taken to saying "oh no no its the annoying shouty man again mummy" while DD2 covers her ears

I hate those women who eat crisp bread together.

Hostess: "Ooh, are you eating the nibbles you greedy cows "
Greedy Cows: "No yes, we're fucking starving and all you've given us green shit on cardboard and now you expect us to just sit and look at it "
All: "hahahahaha"

I rant for hours at dh about those sarah

How fucked off would you be if you were invited for a night out and told to eat ryvita? Ooh aren't we naughty, it's got cream cheese on it!

you might enjoy this
womenlaughingalonewithsalad.tumblr.com/

stdg, that and you still have to turn of your tap

They should start up another photo blog - women orgasming on yogurt.

I've never actually been able to locate my Y-spot.

To me yogurt is something you eat between meals with the sense of sheer disappointment that it isn't a Wispa. Or the worlds most depressing dessert.

I hate the Park Christmas advert with the mum saying how it makes her Christmas stress free.

Just perpetuates the myth that organising Christmas is entirely a woman's job.

I always find it odd that the pregnancy tests are right next to the condoms and lubricants in Boots...

It'd be a fairly stressful Christmas if she overhead everyone moaning that they got a shitty thoughtless Argos voucher off her again for Christmas, and a hamper with Pek Chopped ham and pork.

Is it Bank of Scotland or something that has an advert just now that says 'for those OMG moments'

Nobody that uses the phrase 'OMG' would ever be allowed to be in charge of my finances. They'd be too busy on Snapchat or buying overpriced shite trackie bottoms in Superdry, surely?

I too hate that 'Anything for yow, cupcake' add. I have to mute the tv before i throw things!

What were they thinking? 'I know, the accent to really attract people to our company is... Yam yam!'

Disclaimer - I live on the Dudley/Birmingham border and have never heard anyone speak like that.

Should be the advert for Cillit Bang.

Only because my other half was incensed by it and now i play it when he's annoyed me. It randomly coming on at regular intervals would be hilarious.

Hahahahaha just played that for DD1 she is less than impressed with you, I now have the ideal weapon to use to get her to bed.

Glad to be of service Softly

PleaseJustLeave - Women laughing alone with salad is genius.

They could do so many other blogs. Women skipping because of their tena lady. Woman rejoicing because of their new air freshener. Women grinning like maniacs while they spray something from a bottle.

I hate the Park Christmas advert because I really cannot understand if you are on a low income and need to pay weekly towards xmas rather than save in a bank account how on earth in 52 weeks you are going to be able to afford much anyway as you would have to save a shed load every week to make it worthwhile surely? I mean £1.00 a week only gives you £52 quid at max ... hardly enough for a whole family plus food.

I've thought of another one - those Halifax adverts saying 'people who give more, should get more' - are they really saying they will assess your customer focus and how much you do in the community before setting your mortgage rate? Of course they aren't - fecking stupid ad.

Late to the party again-

Please-Good God. I have no words!

Flock-Don't toy with me...I've been waiting for my MN soulmate for fricking EVER.

That Clearblue advert makes me want to stab the TV every time I see it - the "oh I think I'm gonna cry" does it for me
FFS get rid of this shit advert!!

Anything for yow cupcake makes me stabby too.
Take your teenage daughter to disney is creepy as fuck but the one that reaaly annoys the shit out of me is the weight watchers one. "your daughter will love you now you arent a heifer anymore"

Tragically - agree totally about the Calgon ad. It really gives me the rage!

Sorry, should say Thatisall, not Tragically! Bloody kindle.

Uniform dating ad.

Call if you work in uniform or not anyone can join.

All I could think was

Get your rank piss stick away from the table. Where you eat. And are drinking.