'It was a mistake" minimising language?

[ShephardsDelight]

In regards to cheating/affairs?
I've notice this term used a lot, on tv , online , day to day conversation as some kind of appeasing term or it appears to me more of a cop out.
Spilling milk on the kitchen side, breaking something by accident is a mistake.
Making a conscious choice to have sex with someone else other than you're partner? not so much..plus it often requires lying deviousness at some point kind of the opposite of a mistake, pre meditated.
I often hear it and think , no....take some bloody responsibility, you made a choice!.
Am I unreasonably bothered by this?

Or does anyone agree?

aibu.?

No, I don't think it's minimising language. By this, people mean, "it shouldn't have happened" or "I shouldn't have done it". If they said "It was an accident", that would be different!

It means they thought it was a great idea at the time but now the novelty has worn off

It means they were found out...

I think there is a difference between an accident and a mistake. An accident is something which wasn't deliberate, a mistake can be a deliberate action they realise was wrong and regret. They're not saying they tripped and fell into bed, they're saying they made a choice but it was the wrong one and therefore a mistake. I don't think saying something was a mistake means someone isn't taking responsibility. They are taking responsibility by admitting they made a mistake!

I agree. It was a mistake means that you thought something was ok but it wasn't. You accidentally did something. Having an affair, betraying your do trust and potentially destroying them isn't a mistake, it's a massive betrayal. It's a sign of fuckwittery. It's cruel, destructive and selfish. Putting the wrong PIN number in when you pay with your card is a mistake.

perhaps you make a good point there topaz,

although I;m probably biased cuz its always done with feeble whinging.

I don't think there is anything wrong in describing it as a "mistake"

In agreement with those who say there is a difference between a mistake and an accident. IMO an accident is something that is unavoidable a mistake is something done consciously. You can make a conscious decision to do something and realise after the fact it was a mistake.

My favourite one is "It just happened..." what you slipped and fell into her Vajayjay!!! That gets on my nerves.

I agree with Topaz and would expand it a bit.

A "mistake" is a one-off misjudgement or poor decision, not a premeditated choice. So in this context, maybe a drunken snog/grope.

An affair is made up of hundreds of deliberate choices to deceive.

Yep, right up there with "I found myself in a position conducive to sex"

'Mistake' is accurate enough but it doesn't necessarily mean 'remorse' in a lot of these cases :) We all make mistakes. We're all human. The ones I reserve my contempt for however are the ones that keep making the same 'mistakes' over and over again.... because then it's a bad habit, not an error of judgement.

There is a really crappy late night programme called 'cheaters'.

In one episode a man is getting jiggly with the babysitter, in the car, while he was supposed to be dropping her home. Anyway, the wife had followed him, withe the private detective and cameras, she has also phoned the babysitters dad, they all turn up and confront them, the hubby 'in his underpants' tins up to the wife saying 'what this looks like, is not what it is'.....even at this point this man is delusional, and trying to twist the mind of his wife. It's known deception.....known choices....not a mistake.

*runs

yeah good point scaevola the snog analogy is probably better,

Lousie yes that gives me the rage or, one thing led to another! sounds like a farce!!

cogito yeah i agree there is a difference between a one off and when it becomes a lifestyle choice.

Elderberri urgh what a scumbag, although I wanna watch it now.