To post their cigarette stubs back through their letterbox?

[stickystick]

My baby and I live on the lower ground floor of a mansion block, and our kitchen door opens into a little walled courtyard. I have a bit of garden furniture out there, a barbecue, a sand/water table for the baby to use this summer, and I grow some kitchen herbs in a tub.
I am cross with the new-ish, French female tenants of a second floor flat in the building, whose windows look out onto the courtyard. They sit on their windowsills to smoke and then flick their ash and used cigarette butts into the courtyard. They go into the easigrass, onto our garden furniture, into the herbs, everywhere. It's going to be a nightmare when the baby's wandering around out there in summer.

So in my British way I have been out into the yard and stared very hard at them to let them know that I know it's them doing this, but they seem totally unbothered.
I then decided to be Euro-diplomatic and asked the building manager what he would advise. He said he'd report it to the managing agents who would write to the landlord who would have to tell his/her tenants to stop. That was about six weeks ago and it's still going on. The building manager also claims he's had a word directly with one of the tenants and asked them to use an ashtray but that doesn't seem to be working either.

What I really want to do is collect a pile of these disgusting fag butts up, put them in an envelope, and put it through their letterbox with the message "I believe these are yours. Next time I won't bother with the envelope."

That's what I WANT to do. Is this unreasonable and disproportionate? Am I likely to get them back at me, or worse? Are there any alternatives???

[Rooners]

It's not sucking up. I'm not suggesting she is dim and appeasing towards them.

But assertiveness might work.

They are young. They probably don't think they are causing any harm at all.

You have to make them aware. Do it kindly first. Then bring in the big guns if it doesn't work.

[horsetowater]

They are young and French. No point trying to be their mates. You are English and have children. They will hate you whatever you do.

[specialsubject]

many smokers, regardless of nationality, have a blank spot in their brain about litter and stink. It is a dirty habit however you look at it.

You need to explain slowly and clearly, in person, that they must not drop rubbish in your garden, and that ash and butts are rubbish. They either collect them and throw them away or eat them. Their choice.

[stickystick]

An update on this, for the kind posters who posted.

I went up twice, with the baby in tow, to see them - once mid morning Sunday when I was sure they couldn't possibly be at uni or work, and once on a rainy Saturday afternoon. No answer either time so they were either asleep in bed or out I suppose. I've kept an eye out but I haven't seen them on their windowsills during the day lately.

I then wrote a short note saying please could they cease and desist because I was unable to let the baby play in the yard while they kept flicking their cigarette butts and ash out there, and stuck it through their letterbox. I did sign it and put my flat number on it, but I haven't had any reply... The slight problem is that it was nonstop rubbish weather when I wrote the letter and I had no appetite to go outside in the wind and rain to pick all the latest horrible fag butts up, in order that I could then tell whether or not the letter worked. So I really need to do that :(

[NoodleOodle]

I hope it works. Odd as it may seem, some people just do not see how their actions impact upon others until it is expressly pointed out to them.

[spamm]

Figure out when they are sleeping in and knock loudly and constantly on their door until they open - do this regularly and explain that you need to talk to them about their cigarette butts. They will likely stop, just to get their sleep.

[Pottytrainer]

I used to smoke and did not care what happened to the buts. I'm sure if they are reasonable people and you explain, taking your child with you, with a smile they will stop.
If they don't then send them the bill for clearing up the mess!