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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to throttle this man?

44 replies

KateSpade · 27/01/2014 19:38

HR manager walks past my desk today and enquiries if I am busy, I have met and spoken to this man several times, infact when I was suspended (epilepsy if you remember the thread) he was telling me what a brilliant job I have been doing. Clearly bollocks as I'm not sure he knows who I am? The conversation went like this:

Man: keeping you busy I see, how's things going?
Me: we'll, thank you but if you have any work you would like me to get on with, please sent it down as I have done Xxx & Xxxx so my work for today is nearly finished.
Man: excuse me?
Me: sorry, I just meant -
Man Do you know who I am? I'm not sure if we've met I am Xxxxxx how dare you speak to me in this manner, you are clearly wasting your time and mine don't you ever speak to me again you stupid little girl.

Then flounced off.

Am I right in thinking WTH? If you have a boss who is hard to deal with, please share your tips & wisdom.

Currently Sad

OP posts:
tinyturtletim · 27/01/2014 19:39

Yanbu...

YouTheCat · 27/01/2014 19:40

Well he doesn't sound like a very good HR manager if that's how he talks to people and the fact that he clearly misunderstood what you had said.

I wouldn't worry about it.

PollyCazaletWannabe · 27/01/2014 19:40

To he honest he sounds unhinged.

Joules68 · 27/01/2014 19:40

He really said that?

Don't let it drop...

Original poster
KateSpade · 27/01/2014 19:46

One thing that makes me feel slightly better is that he's the same with everyone. He has a few apprentices working for him & he treats them like shit. Straight out of school, i wonder how they cope tbh.

Trust me to end up with the worst job in the world.

I bet he'll fire me for this, you know.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 27/01/2014 19:49

Calling someone a "stupid little girl" in the workplace is never acceptable, I would take this further.

LittleRedDinosaur · 27/01/2014 19:49

He said "you stupid little girl"?! Those exact words?! Get him fired.

matildamatilda · 27/01/2014 19:53

I have seen some tantrums at work but "stupid little girl"?

You've absolutely got to make a complaint.

I agree he sounds unhinged. Or maybe drunk?

Please don't let this slide.

DoctorTwo · 27/01/2014 19:59

I'm not violent. Well, not usually, but this utter clopper would get throat punched fo' sho'.

KittyAndTheFontanelles · 27/01/2014 19:59

Definitely take it further.

Unless I'm missing something his response was not only inappropriate and disproportionate but also didn't make sense with regard to what you had said Confused

Do not let him speak to you like that.

Shakey1500 · 27/01/2014 20:01

Ye Gads Shock

Did anyone else hear this? Just to clarify he actually said "You stupid little girl"?

Why on earth would you think you'd be fired? Confused

I'd absolutely be escalating this.

matildamatilda · 27/01/2014 20:09

Have you been bullied there for a long time?

I ask because your reaction seems strange, if I'm brutally honest. I appreciate you're in shockI would be too!but he says this to you and you're afraid you'll be fired?

Most of the time bullies are sneakier than this. If a man said this to me at work I'd be upset but I'd also be like, "Wow, you poor bastard, you are so going to regret that."

Original poster
KateSpade · 27/01/2014 20:12

Yeah, their was someone else 'babysitting' me as I'm not allowed to be alone. He's the second in command and I wasn't ass licking asking for more work, I just didn't want to sit doing nothing for three hours.

He's absolutely untouchable. Tbh, I was trying to get on his good side.

& if he takes a disliking to someone they mysteriously disappear from the company, it's happened to everyone from finance directors to your bog-standard admin staff which is what I am.

OP posts:
Original poster
KateSpade · 27/01/2014 20:14

& yes Matilda, my line manager is also being a twat, but not in such an obvious way.

A relative of mine works their & he was the first person to suggest I was being bullied by certain staff members.

OP posts:
matildamatilda · 27/01/2014 20:22

So call your union or ACAS tomorrow. A guy who calls you "stupid little girl" at work has really done himself in. People lose their jobs for less.

travailtotravel · 27/01/2014 20:23

He's not called Bruce is he Hmm

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/01/2014 20:25

Very odd behaviour!

I would complain, without a doubt. I remember your other thread.

RandyRudolf · 27/01/2014 20:28

Find me an 'in' to your place and I'll sort the cheeky fucker out. I wouldn't stand for that behaviour. I was bullied once in the workplace, never again. It prompted me to go to Uni and study HR.

Tulip26 · 27/01/2014 20:36

This is disgusting. He clearly has been getting away with this for a while and thinks he's untouchable. FGS go over his head and complain.

needaholidaynow · 27/01/2014 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lambzig · 27/01/2014 20:43

Surely he misheard you (not that it makes his comment in any way acceptable). The whole exchange just doesn't make sense. You need to complain if there is someone to complain to.

500internalerror · 27/01/2014 20:45

Ok, when I read the op, I read it as "if you have any work you want me to do, you'd better send it down quickly as ive almost finished for the day ie I won't stay longer for you". Which is perhaps why he reacted as he did? It took the whole thread before I understood that you were saying you'd finished what you were on, so you could handle more work.

Original poster
KateSpade · 27/01/2014 20:47

I know, its all total bollocks. I started this job wanting to keep my head down, maybe make a few friends, just earn money whilst deciding which direction i wanted to go in.

but no, nearly all the people i thought were nice/friendly have turned out to be complete back stabbers, line manager, HR staff, co-workers. Out of all the bloody people i have met, their are four i know i can trust.

The thing that annoys me, is the 'Do you know who i am?' i mean, who actually says that?
My response would have been 'yes, i know who you are, you suspended me not so long ago for having epilepsy, or have you forgotten the shit that you've put me through?'
We have also had many face-to-face conversations so he has no excuse to forget me.

OP posts:
Original poster
KateSpade · 27/01/2014 20:48

I hope he did mishear me, then he owes me an apology.

OP posts:
Pilgit · 27/01/2014 21:01

I hope you are keeping a record of this including dates, times etc. If you are not a member of a union sign up. From experience (observations) if you make their life difficult you come out of it better off. Make sure you have a copy of procedures. Bloody that of a HR manager

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