We’ve being married for 15 years and every so often we have to have a 'chat'. He then pulls up his socks but then gradually slides back to being a lazy bugger.
We are busy during the week. He is out the house 8am-6pm, I work about 20-25 hours around school times. I do the majority of the cooking and housework (95%). If I ask DH to do something he will-but why should I have to ask all the time? It’s tiring having to ‘supervise’ someone and I feel like I’m nagging.
I think (is this where the problem is) he and I could spend a few hours on a weekend catching up with essential jobs around the house then have some quality/family/relaxing time. However I feel I spend all weekend dashing about, tiding, washing, planning meals, cooking. organising things for the next week. Taking the DD’s shopping as they want/need bits. Walking the dog because no one else has. Then doing the man jobs listed below.
OK, so two Saturdays ago he got up early to play golf with some mates. He doesn’t play often. He came home at 1pm, ate the lunch I had prepared and went to bed because he was tired. He got up at about 4pm and went into the sitting room and spent the rest of the evening on his laptop. Before I cooked dinner he asked if he could help and I said he could wash up afterwards. Anyway, he didn’t so I did. He then spent Sunday either on the laptop, the desktop or his mobile.
The following Saturday morning we took the shower tray apart because it’s leaking. Then in the afternoon we went out to buy some bits for the shower. We left it partly dismantled so we could test it over the following few days. When we came in he said he needed to do some research (on showers) on the internet. He then spent the rest afternoon/evening in the sitting room on his laptop. I cooked and tidied the house.
So this Saturday just gone he had to work until 1pm. We went to friends for a meal in Saturday evening but most of the day he was stuck to some gadget or other. Sunday he woke with man flu (to can see where I’m going with this). He ‘managed’ to get out of bed and eat breakfast, and play on the floor with the dog for 5 minutes, but gave off all the signs he was too ill to do anything. He spent the morning on the laptop or mobile. Later as I made lunch and prepared the evening meal he offered to peel the potatoes (that I was half way through doing). To be fair he asked if there was anything he could do and I said “go find something to do”.
He should know what needs doing around the house.
The list of man-things he could do:
Bring the recycling boxes from the front of the house and put them in the shed.
Empty the kitchen recycling box into said boxes.
Put the empty tins he left next to the sink into the recycling box under the sink.
Empty the kitchen waste bin instead of pushing everything down.
Pick up a weeks-worth of dog poo from the garden.
Walk said dog.
Re-fit the front of the shower tray as it is not leaking anymore, and put the mop and bucket back in the shed.
Put the extra shelves up in the shed so he doesn’t have to complain he can’t find anything in there.
It wouldn’t be so bad if occasionally he said “ you’ve not stopped all week, here’s a glass of wine. Sit down and I’ll do (plan/shop/cook/washup) dinner”. Or, just got off a bum/gadget and did something else.
Am I being unreasonable?
**Disclaimer - this is generally light-hearted and I love my family.