Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for this money back?

7 replies

Pheasant32 · 26/01/2014 12:48

I separated from my partner a couple of weeks ago. We were together for 16 months. When we met he was financially stable - very wealthy, even. However during our relationship things got worse and there were times when he literally did not have a penny to his name. He has 3 children and everything he earned was going on supporting them (he wasn't a reckless gambler or anything).

During one of these times I lent him £200. He didn't ask, I offered because at the time I could spare it. I also paid a parking fine for him which totalled £150 because his car had been impounded and he needed it for work, etc. It was only ever a loan and he was keen to repay it, in instalments probably.

He was letting me use one of his two laptops for work while we were together and when things looked difficult he said that I could keep the laptop in lieu of the £200 because he thought it was worth roughly that. That was fine by me. However when the end actually came, he was cross and removed the laptop. Literally demanded it and he wasn't the most stable character so I gave it to him. Nothing had changed by the way, he was just being spiteful (I think).

I am now in a position where I need the £200 back (actually NEED, not would like) It would be useful to have the other £150 too but there were no specific arrangements for that so I don't really plan to ask for it.

The split was a bitter one and we are not in contact. So my question is AIBU to ask for the money back, knowing (or suspecting) that he can't really afford it? I suppose I'm feeling a bit annoyed because I covered lots of joint costs while we were together and also did a lot of work for him for free (agreed free). I don't want to be U - but I do need the money. No-one would suffer apart from him, he's a dedicated father and his children come first.

OP posts:
Emo76 · 26/01/2014 12:50

Ask for it back. Maybe it won't be possible but do yourself the justice of asking.

Oakmaiden · 26/01/2014 12:50

I think it sucks, and you have every right to demand your money back, but I don't think you are going to get it.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 26/01/2014 12:53

As you are not in contact and the split was bitter, I think I would draw a line under it and not contact him for the cash.

TheGinLushMinion · 26/01/2014 12:58

You can ask but as the split was bitter I doubt very much you'll get it back.

Scholes34 · 26/01/2014 13:30

It will be easier to draw a line under the relationship and move on if you just forget about the money. If the split was bitter, you'll just prolong this feeling and contact with him. Ask yourself how much your really do need the money.

Nomama · 26/01/2014 14:25

So you aren't really over him, you don't really want him out of your life then?

Why else would you let a couple of hundred quid be more important than living your life?

DameDeepRedBetty · 26/01/2014 14:28

Frankly it's very very unlikely he'd give it back to you if you did ask. So while I appreciate you do need this cash, it might be better to draw a line under the whole relationship and forget about it.

With a bit of luck karma will come along and bite his arse for you soon.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page